What are you thinking? 9.0

[Adam (birkin)]

It sunk in for the first time today: in less than 6 weeks I will no longer have my boobs. I was working out with a guy I know, and I felt really awkward...we were doing stretches and bouncy type movements and at certain points my boobs were prominent or I could feel them moving. Not like he seemed to notice or care, he thinks I am cis and the few people who know have been decent enough not to out me to him.

But soon. No more jiggling in the chest. No more worrying about the shoulder of my shirt slipping and showing a bra strap. No more scrambling to find my sports bra, no more hiding said sports bra from the guys in my suitcase at night.

For at least several months, I will have to wear UnderArmour or some other form of compression garment to allow for healing. So I'm not *totally* off the hook just yet but omg. My life is going to get so much easier soon. It has been a hell of a 6 months, busting my ass to save the cash for this, and it isn't over yet as I will have some debt...but man has it been worth it. It definitely has made me rethink my relationship with money, I think from now on I will be more frugal because it's so great to have money for the things that truly matter and make a difference.

In other news, I was being a sarcastic ass and tried to replicate a selfie that someone at work took. I made the kissy face and like tilted my head the same way she did. Although I know I look entirely male, and don't really doubt it anymore - that was the first picture where I saw myself as 100% guy. Like where there was no trace in my dysphoria-laden mind of any femaleness. It was a really nice feeling, I never thought it would happen. True progress takes so much time. I had a frank talk with someone about suicide the other day because she has been trying to kill herself and has nearly succeeded, and I told her that getting to a better place takes a really really long time, but that it's always worth it. I didn't tell her everything about my past but she knows enough. I hope that sharing my struggles makes her feel less alone, and gives her the strength to overcome her own issues and become the person she is so capable of being.

[Kellam]

Do I realy have to go to bed? I don't wanna go to work in the morning and dress like a man! I wanna stay home and wear the right clothes! Meh, I'll wear my lady's EMT cargo pants and propper under garments that'll hold me. Ok...one more thread!

[Rainbow Dash]

It sunk in for the first time today: in less than 6 weeks I will no longer have my boobs. I was working out with a guy I know, and I felt really awkward...we were doing stretches and bouncy type movements and at certain points my boobs were prominent or I could feel them moving. Not like he seemed to notice or care, he thinks I am cis and the few people who know have been decent enough not to out me to him.

But soon. No more jiggling in the chest. No more worrying about the shoulder of my shirt slipping and showing a bra strap. No more scrambling to find my sports bra, no more hiding said sports bra from the guys in my suitcase at night.

For at least several months, I will have to wear UnderArmour or some other form of compression garment to allow for healing. So I'm not *totally* off the hook just yet but omg. My life is going to get so much easier soon. It has been a hell of a 6 months, busting my ass to save the cash for this, and it isn't over yet as I will have some debt...but man has it been worth it. It definitely has made me rethink my relationship with money, I think from now on I will be more frugal because it's so great to have money for the things that truly matter and make a difference.

In other news, I was being a sarcastic ass and tried to replicate a selfie that someone at work took. I made the kissy face and like tilted my head the same way she did. Although I know I look entirely male, and don't really doubt it anymore - that was the first picture where I saw myself as 100% guy. Like where there was no trace in my dysphoria-laden mind of any femaleness. It was a really nice feeling, I never thought it would happen. True progress takes so much time. I had a frank talk with someone about suicide the other day because she has been trying to kill herself and has nearly succeeded, and I told her that getting to a better place takes a really really long time, but that it's always worth it. I didn't tell her everything about my past but she knows enough. I hope that sharing my struggles makes her feel less alone, and gives her the strength to overcome her own issues and become the person she is so capable of being.

I'm really happy for you. You've really kicked ass to get this done and I'm cheering for you all the way.



Finally going home for 2 weeks. How the hell is it colder in Indiana than it is in Michigan? O.O
I'll be thinking hard about whether the over the road truck driver career is really right for me. I have too many friends I like and I think that was also a source of contention between me and Birkin. Even though I was on the road for a month, things went to hell back at the house. But, my heart was not there. It was actually further north this whole time. *sigh*

[King Malachite]

It sunk in for the first time today: in less than 6 weeks I will no longer have my boobs. I was working out with a guy I know, and I felt really awkward...we were doing stretches and bouncy type movements and at certain points my boobs were prominent or I could feel them moving. Not like he seemed to notice or care, he thinks I am cis and the few people who know have been decent enough not to out me to him.

But soon. No more jiggling in the chest. No more worrying about the shoulder of my shirt slipping and showing a bra strap. No more scrambling to find my sports bra, no more hiding said sports bra from the guys in my suitcase at night.

For at least several months, I will have to wear UnderArmour or some other form of compression garment to allow for healing. So I'm not *totally* off the hook just yet but omg. My life is going to get so much easier soon. It has been a hell of a 6 months, busting my ass to save the cash for this, and it isn't over yet as I will have some debt...but man has it been worth it. It definitely has made me rethink my relationship with money, I think from now on I will be more frugal because it's so great to have money for the things that truly matter and make a difference.

I'm proud of how far you have come!  I need to take a lesson on being frugal again (I gained a shopping addiction after I started working).





It's weird that I turned 23 today.  That means 2 more years before I turn 25, which means I will be 30 in the five year after that.  I will be 30 in 7 years....oh my, I'm getting old.  I wonder what will I have accomplished by 30. 

[immortal gypsy]

It's weird that I turned 23 today.  That means 2 more years before I turn 25, which means I will be 30 in the five year after that.  I will be 30 in 7 years....oh my, I'm getting old.  I wonder what will I have accomplished by 30.

Well Your Grace this is for you  a gift from the peasants
Just remember growing older is mandatory . Growing up is optional .



After my sister had a bad night last night, she was said she would call me before she started work, I spent this morning waiting for the phone to ring and listening to her voice mail. Ended up finding where she worked and made sure she was there (she was). I feel like half wrapping my hands around her neck, and half hug her and kss her (and call her George ), and ask her to never put me through that again.

[LordKAT]

Well Your Grace this is for you  a gift from the peasants
Just remember growing older is mandatory . Growing up is optional .

Ditto Sir King

After my sister had a bad night last night, she was said she would call me before she started work, I spent this morning waiting for the phone to ring and listening to her voice mail. Ended up finding where she worked and made sure she was there (she was). I feel like half wrapping my hands around her neck, and half hug her and kss her (and call her George ), and ask her to never put me through that again.

Sisters can be like that, so can daughters. Thankfully they aren't always martians. You are a wonderful person for caring so much about your family. I hope they don't do that to you often.

[Ally_B]

Tired, cranky.... Do NOT push me today universe....

[LordKAT]

My Bed

Here I lay
On my bed
My fortress of sweet solitude
Absent from reality
To insinuate myself into a dream
To make up for the comfort I am deprived of
The blank darkness equally pleasant
Just to attain this moment of positivity
All possible
When I lay here on my bed

          -Martin Feussner

[infinity]

to build a fire by jack london...

you all must read it.

[MarissaJ]

I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with an endo to discuss starting HRT. I'm hoping that she will prescribe E for me. I'm really nervous that the dr will find some reason not to.  Get this the name of the dr is Dr. Tran, seriously.

Hugs
Marissa

[Mariah]

Good Luck Marissa. I'm sure you will be fine. Relax and Hugs.
Mariah

I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with an endo to discuss starting HRT. I'm hoping that she will prescribe E for me. I'm really nervous that the dr will find some reason not to.  Get this the name of the dr is Dr. Tran, seriously.

Hugs
Marissa

[Mariah]

It's about time I replace this computer because it's driving me nuts.
Mariah

[MarissaJ]

Good Luck Marissa. I'm sure you will be fine. Relax and Hugs.
Mariah

Thanks Mariah

[Mariah]

Your most very welcome. I was worried to going into my first appointment, but as I found out I had nothing to worry about. Just be open and honest with him and you will be fine which is exactly what I learned.
Mariah

Thanks Mariah

[Mariah]

Happy Birthday King Malachite 

I'm proud of how far you have come!  I need to take a lesson on being frugal again (I gained a shopping addiction after I started working).





It's weird that I turned 23 today.  That means 2 more years before I turn 25, which means I will be 30 in the five year after that.  I will be 30 in 7 years....oh my, I'm getting old.  I wonder what will I have accomplished by 30.

[V M]

Il n'y a pas de lumières allumées, mais quelqu'un est le moteur de la voiture

Quelqu'un conduit rapidement et aveugle vers nulle part

[Jenny07]

I've been feeling very low for the past few weeks with some dark thoughts that are troubling.
I found myself consumed by them as the long work hours take their toll.

WHY?
Why do I feel like this? I hate it so much.

[Tossu-sama]

Thinking if Dishonored is a good game... I kinda bought it on a whim yesterday because it was only 20€ and it's even the Game of the Year edition with that extra cardboard cover thing and all.

[Ally_B]

I'm far more drunk than I realised. At least I managed to write a few songs first. lol

[DragonBeer]

I'm becoming part of something bigger. Now where to find trans* masculine musicians...