When it comes to being myself in front of others I know my Dad has made me feel

[Shana-chan]

as if I must rein them in slowly, that I can't wear make up or even a skirt/dress in front of them and if I do, I feel bad. If they're giving me the ride, again, I can't wear make up/skirt/dress. My "Dad" has made me self conscious about myself and I HATE feeling bad about this or self conscious at all about this. Please, anyone, everyone, advice, what can I do to stop feeling this way? It's not right or cool that I should feel this way just because I was born trans and because of how society/this world is.

[AnneB]

there are nice girl-cut jeans you can wear, it may help give you the girl feel, yet still look normal for your family....  makeup, go barely there.. begin small, lightly, they may not notice,but you certainly will.

[Hikari]

For me doing small things that could get me positive feedback helped me build sort of a cushion of confidence so that people couldn't really make me feel bad about what I am wearing or how I look. Small goals easily attainable also really build a sense of confidence.

You could confront your dad about it, I sometimes feel much better about a situation if I confront the person making me feel this way. I am not someone who likes conflict but, at times it really is the only way. Only you can determine if this is one of those situations.

[Christy]

You are you no matter what others think. Try not to beat yourself up over being trans just because some other people just don't get it. Do what you can to honor yourself. If you are not eight-teen yet your parents still have control over you to an extent. It's not easy but it won't last forever. Remember there is nothing wrong with you, it's the people who say mean things who have the problem.

[Illuminess]

You could confront your dad about it, I sometimes feel much better about a situation if I confront the person making me feel this way. I am not someone who likes conflict but, at times it really is the only way. Only you can determine if this is one of those situations.

I have to second this. It's not often a very comfortable thing to do, but once it's done it's done. If you ever have to talk about it again it won't be as unsettling. You've already broken that wall.

It will probably be several months into HRT before I start to enhance my wardrobe, so right now I just wear low-rise skinny jeans and band or novelty "baby tee" shirts. I also have some shirts that don't really scream male or female. Maybe once they get used to that you can start adding to it.

As far as makeup, maybe fix it so that it looks "natural", and if you use eyeliner you could use a lighter shade or apply it softly so it's really only noticeable enough for your own comfort. There's no reason anyone should make you feel bad about yourself. If you live with them just work around their "rules" so that you can be yourself without drawing unnecessary negative attention. It's ridiculous that you would even have to do that, but sometimes it's necessary until you can move out.

[Shana-chan]

Unfortunately I don't know how to get feeling this way to go away, the damage he inflicted upon me (and maybe myself too) has already been done and confronting him about it does no good. The BEST I was able to get is I can wear my female clothes around him but they HAVE to look as gender neutral as possible. He won't even take me anywhere if I bring my purse with me or just wear even a shade of lipstick. He once made a big deal about my chap stick I was wearing because he "thought" it was lipstick and said it looked like it. Did I mention I no longer live with him and he's OVERLY religious and doesn't even celebrate any holidays besides very select few that his "church" deems appropriate and yes, that includes he doesn't celebrate Christmas. Well now I have.

Like I said, the damage has already been done, no amount of confronting him will do any good (Hell, I may not be able to attend my own sis's wedding thanks to his crap! and I've got to confront him on that soon...) and I just need to know if anyone has any other ideas besides confronting him? Thank you for the advice already though.

[Rayne]

Your dad really should have no say in a wedding invite from a sibling. I live with mom and dad for medical reasons, i am in a similar boat, i am scared to do more than wear my basic earrings. It is not religion but guilt. I am his mly son, if i could ever have been called that. And with his medical issues... He says he wants me to be happy, but he admitts it would hurt him badly. I can imagine how hard it was for him to approach me about it.

[Jessica Merriman]

he's OVERLY religious and doesn't even celebrate any holidays besides very select few that his "church" deems appropriate

With that said you will never get acceptance no matter how you do it. Some just refuse and will never change. Dress like you want to sweetie because if you wait you are only hurting yourself. Your life is YOURS, not anyone else's. My Dad was not happy with my choice to transition at all, but once I showed resolve he knew it was the way things were going to be. Do not let anyone keep you from the important events in your life because that is what life is all about, a celebration. 

[janetcgtv]

Shana:
You didn't mention how old you are.
If you are underage(21) then you will have to put up with it. You do NOT want to be living on the street as this way you could die by forcing the issue. KIds have been kicked out of their home.
Just bide your time you will get your freedom.
If you are over 21 then slowly transform in front of them.

If they eventually accept you congratulations.

If NOT then it will be their loss. Then stay away for now to give them space so they can think this through. Remember in the meantime keep the door open between you and your father. it's harder for fathers to accept.

Always love yourself and do want makes you happy

[Shana-chan]

Your dad really should have no say in a wedding invite from a sibling. I live with mom and dad for medical reasons, i am in a similar boat, i am scared to do more than wear my basic earrings. It is not religion but guilt. I am his mly son, if i could ever have been called that. And with his medical issues... He says he wants me to be happy, but he admitts it would hurt him badly. I can imagine how hard it was for him to approach me about it.

He does if A) I'm having to rely on him for the ride and no one else can take me to it and B) if he's paying for said wedding.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, I'd say a lot more, be positive/supportive more than that but, I am not able to do so given my current state and at this point in time with all that I'm going through. I do care though and hope it all works out for you.

With that said you will never get acceptance no matter how you do it. Some just refuse and will never change. Dress like you want to sweetie because if you wait you are only hurting yourself. Your life is YOURS, not anyone else's. My Dad was not happy with my choice to transition at all, but once I showed resolve he knew it was the way things were going to be. Do not let anyone keep you from the important events in your life because that is what life is all about, a celebration. 

I do agree with the sentence that comes after the bolded sentence but I do not agree with the actual bolded sentence itself. Yes odds are I won't, however, I have seen very little progress from him and some progress, no matter how small, is better than NO progress at all.

[Taka]

when relying on your dad, do as he says. but only for those rides.
going to your sister's wedding, wear something as male as you can, until you get there. then ten minutes before the ceremony starts, change into what you really want to wear. i'm sure you're allowed to bring a bag with an extra change of clothes, hide something nice in there. even if your dad pays for the wedding, i doubt he'd start a commotion with all the guests present. and if he does, tell him you're a girl, it would be improper to wear pants. and be loud about it.

in order to get rid of that guilty feeling, you'll have to realize deep down that there's nothing to feel guilty about. and that your father does not dictate the morals and ethics of this world, much less your life. for me, that comes down to making a decision and sticking with it. i did feel self-conscious about wearing male wear in front of my parents (not out yet, but still). then suddenly, my uncle says that that was the most he's ever seen me look like myself. i've never felt anything other than comfortable in the clothes i like to wear, after that. looking like myself must be the greatest and most proper way i could ever possibly look. if my parents disagree, that only means that they don't see me for who i am, and are trying to make me into something i am not. they are the ones making a mistakes, they are the ones who should realize their guilt, they are the ones who should feel sorry. and if anyone has to apologize, it will not be me. for i am only doing what's proper and good for a person like me.

try getting that into your head, so well that you can feel morally just about wearing gender appropriate clothing. don't pretend to be a guy, unless it's a demand in order to get something that you want bad enough to do that. you are a girl, act like it in every situation where it isn't potentially life threatening. if you keep at it, you're likely to see that most people are ok with it, some might even give you positive responses when you go out there as yourself.

also keep in mind that there is no point feeling guilty about making the right choices for your own life. just the same as how it usually feels horrible to make the wrong choice, if you know it's wrong when you make that choice.

do you think a cat feels guilty about it's fur color?