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An explanation and defense on being non-binary androgynous

Started by Shantel, August 23, 2014, 02:14:10 PM

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Jess42

It really gets confusing sometimes. I guess I am a non binary that leans female mentally in a sort of non typical male body. I used to be really comfortable with it, but I find I am shifting more toward transition and then back to where I was before. This has always happened but the spells used to few and far between and now it seems they are coming way more frequently than ever before. It's becoming almost like a struggle sometimes. Is this normal?
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Jess42 on August 25, 2014, 07:25:42 AM
It really gets confusing sometimes. I guess I am a non binary that leans female mentally in a sort of non typical male body. I used to be really comfortable with it, but I find I am shifting more toward transition and then back to where I was before. This has always happened but the spells used to few and far between and now it seems they are coming way more frequently than ever before. It's becoming almost like a struggle sometimes. Is this normal?

Don't know what's normal. A non-binary trans friend of mine is fond of saying "normal is a dryer cycle".

It certainly is something that a lot of us (including me) have gone through, both binary and non-binary.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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luna nyan

Quote from: Satinjoy on August 25, 2014, 07:18:23 AM
All I know is that if they piss you off and you leave, my rage will be beyond your wildest dreams.

We need you Luna.
Aww... Thanks.  To be honest, I don't believe I'm that important around here - I'm just diplomatic most of the time.  The only distinguishing thing is being older in internet years...

A lot of people here have a good handle on things.  Even if I'm not around, someone will pick things up.

Quote from: Jess42 on August 25, 2014, 07:25:42 AM
It really gets confusing sometimes. I guess I am a non binary that leans female mentally in a sort of non typical male body. I used to be really comfortable with it, but I find I am shifting more toward transition and then back to where I was before. This has always happened but the spells used to few and far between and now it seems they are coming way more frequently than ever before. It's becoming almost like a struggle sometimes. Is this normal?

I have the feeling that it can vary significantly from person to person.  Society is geared for binary gender expression and being on the fence can be tiring as you are against the tide all the time.  General society would say "make up your mind already".  You could at times be feeling the pressure to conform, or alternatively, you may really be headed towards transition as you become more confident in your ability to pull it off.

I've stated my personal position in my profile.  There is always the temptation to say stuff it, I'm doing this, but it would be irresponsible and reprehensible on my part.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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Jess42

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 25, 2014, 07:27:54 AM
Don't know what's normal. A non-binary trans friend of mine is fond of saying "normal is a dryer cycle".

It certainly is something that a lot of us (including me) have gone through, both binary and non-binary.

That makes a lot of sense suzi. I haven't ever really been normal from day one so abnormal is my normal. :laugh: To me it just seems like there is a pull toward that was not that strong before and I always bounced back like a basketball. Now the bounce is almost like a basketball only half full of air. The bounce back isn't quite as far as it was before.

Quote from: luna nyan on August 25, 2014, 07:33:24 AM
I have the feeling that it can vary significantly from person to person.  Society is geared for binary gender expression and being on the fence can be tiring as you are against the tide all the time.  General society would say "make up your mind already".  You could at times be feeling the pressure to conform, or alternatively, you may really be headed towards transition as you become more confident in your ability to pull it off.

I've stated my personal position in my profile.  There is always the temptation to say stuff it, I'm doing this, but it would be irresponsible and reprehensible on my part.

That makes a lot of sense luna. I just really don't think it is the pressure from society though because I have never let it decide anything about me. Its just like a constant shift but the pressure seems to be more internal than external.
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helen2010

Quote from: luna nyan on August 25, 2014, 07:33:24 AM
Aww... Thanks.  To be honest, I don't believe I'm that important around here - I'm just diplomatic most of the time.  The only distinguishing thing is being older in internet years...

A lot of people here have a good handle on things.  Even if I'm not around, someone will pick things up.

I have the feeling that it can vary significantly from person to person.  Society is geared for binary gender expression and being on the fence can be tiring as you are against the tide all the time.  General society would say "make up your mind already".  You could at times be feeling the pressure to conform, or alternatively, you may really be headed towards transition as you become more confident in your ability to pull it off.

I've stated my personal position in my profile.  There is always the temptation to say stuff it, I'm doing this, but it would be irresponsible and reprehensible on my part.

Luna

While I have had similar experiences the more that I learn about myself, the more respectful and less certain I am of the non binary experience.  I am increasingly of the view that each non binary experiences everything in a manner unique to them.

Being non binary is a little frustrating, but like most things I do sense change.  I do sense that as most folk accept that binarism is overly simplistic and potentially limiting, we will find that more will identify as non binary and our identity will be better accepted.

Aisla
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Shantel

What we experience good or bad is just all about human nature, it's goodness and it's failings, nothing we can do will change that, so any changes will have to be up to us starting with internal changes of the heart. As for dysphoria, it comes and goes like the waves of the ocean, it's always there and most often exacerbated by hormones. Most importantly we need to maintain a cool and discerning mentality and sense of oneself and always take into account that in forums such as this and in local trans support groups there is always an underlying tow of peer group pressure and a pervasive group-think mentality because others have placed expectations that you will become thus and so like them which in turn gives them even more personal validation in their own transition. One needs to be above the ebb and flow of that pressure and be their own unique person that complements who we are as individuals rather than become self destructive. The old testament prophet once said, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately corrupt who can understand it?" From personal experience I agree with that statement wholeheartedly and know it to be true.
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