shyness

[Jaz650]

I'm really shy. Its hard to have I eye contact, and I stutter a lot. What do you do to feel confident?

[Juliett]

 practice practice practice

I've been working on it for years and i still have to make a conscious effort for eye contract. I'll never be a chatter box, but after years of living full time as myself, I've shed the absolute crippling shyness from my youth. I've gotten to the point where I'm happy to start a conversation with anyone.

[Jay27]

Shyness is a real pain, but there are ways to help yourself feel more comfortable! Wear your favourite outfit, try and keep your head up, and maybe take small steps in social situations. For example, just smiling more often, or trying to talk a little more. I have a hard time looking directly at people when speaking, but not everyone really minds! Just look off in the distance when talking as if you're remembering something, or use your hands to talk (it distracts from looking at your face). 

[suzifrommd]

I've always been very shy. Now it's more situational - when I'm in a chaotic social situation where I need to take initiative to make social connections.

Some affirmations help:
* I'm a worthwhile person. When I let someone get to know me, I'm giving them a gift.
* When someone else looks socially confident, that's an ILLUSION. Everyone has insecurities they hide.
* People can't tell that I'm insecure. If I smile and look them in the eye, they'll think I'm confident and outgoing.

It also helps to think of myself as an actress playing a part - the part of a very successful person.

Good luck Jaz. I hope this helps.

[Cin]

I'm shy, I talk really fast, like, at incomprehensible speeds, I avoid enunciating my words, and I make sure there are no emotions on my face as I'm talking. I don't like making eye contact, I always look down or away when I talk to people. More often than not I don't even listen to people, and I might agree to do something without really knowing what they just said. "Yes sure....... Wait what?". I have really bad body language too, my friends can't tell if I'm joking or wanting to be taken seriously. I also end conversations very quickly.

However, I still get by... somehow 🙂

Only time I'm a little confident with strangers is when I'm drunk, lol, but that's not really a suggestion. My suggestion is to try putting yourself in slightly uncomfortable positions, and then taking it from there. Maybe start with your friends and family.

[xponentialshift]

Since starting HRT I have begun to come out of my shell a bit and I've actually been fairly social this past month.

I am starting to make eye contact more, although I still hate doing it. Eye contact to me feels way too intrusive: as if I am invading someone's privacy.

I guess like others said, it seems the best way to overcome shyness is to look like you're confident, and to go out into new situations with other people. Granted I don't think I would ever have done that without HRT (:

[Mark3]

I've always been really shy in person, and felt insecure especially in a group setting.. That has gotten a little easier over time, but its still there.. I have to accept I guess that its just part of my personality, but I have noticed that you learn a little each time, and can use those things to help you in uneasy situations in the future..

As for the studded, it was for me an issue of relaxing, and anxiety and stress made it a lot worse.. I used to sometimes not even want to answer the phone.. My studder went away almost overnight after seeing a Dr. Who found I had high blood pressure and a higher than normal heart rate, and gave me a prescription to relax my heart rate, and my studded disappeared.. Now I have a lot more self confidence too because I talk smoother and calmer..

Its okay to be shy though, I'd much rather be with a shy person than someone who goes on about everything...
🙂