Since When Is A Biological Inablility To Get Pregnant Funny?

[MeganRose]

I am really quite annoyed about this.

I went in to my local pathology lab place today, 'cause I needed to get my blood work done for my next endo appointment, and the karotype test I've been meaning to get done for ages. Woke up way too early for a Saturday so I could get in there ASAP and not have to worry about not eating anything all day, and walked in to find about 20 other people who'd had the same idea. So I gave the receptionist the form that had all the tests I needed, and sat down in the waiting room.

2 hours later they finally call my name and I go in to get my blood taken. The woman looks at the tests I need, looks at me, says "I'll be right back" and wanders off, before coming back a few minutes later to tell me that they wouldnt let me have the karotype test today, that I should come back next week, and because they wouldnt do that one I couldnt get any of my other tests done as well. Which was just great, I had just wasted 2 hours and a morning without breakfast or coffee for absolutely nothing.

I was about to get up and leave, and the woman points to the tests I was supposed to be getting, specifically the test for serum prolactin, and says to me, "You know thats a pregnancy test, don't you?" I tried to explain to her that no, it was a test for prolactin levels which I need to get checked considering the medication that I have to take, and she said "No, you are wrong, it's a pregnancy test. You can't get pregnant, what would YOU need a pregnancy test for? ", and starts giggling to herself. I just glared at her, stood up and left before I could get too angry.

I mean, really. What kind of medical "professional" finds the idea that a transsexual woman cannot get pregnant to be FUNNY? The knowledge that I can never give birth to a child is something that really upsets me every now and again, and to have someone laugh in my face about it like I've told them a dirty joke? That is just so wrong. I really wish I'd asked her, "So you think that its funny that I can never have a child? Do you find women who can't have children because they've had a hysterectomy funny?  If you couldn't have children, would you be OK with me sitting here and laughing about it like it was the funniest thing I've heard all day? For Gods sake, have some bleeding EMPATHY you insensitive little bitch, consider for one second that not being able to have a child is not funny just because of the way I was born".

I'm not going to bother complaining about her. I'll just talk with my money and get all of my expensive blood work, that I'll need to have for as long as I'm on HRT (which, I'm pretty sure, is going to be for a very long time) every few months, done at a place that actually treats me like a woman instead of a punchline. And, while I'm at it, tell as many people as I can to avoid that place like the plague. People like that don't deserve to be employed in the medical field.

Megan

[Keira]

Megan, you should still tell them why your switching, in a letter, so the they will treat the next person better than you.

Yeah, no possibility of children is no laughing matter, I wouldn't have let her get away with the laugh believe me!! I don't get mad but my rethorical sword is pretty sharp.

[RebeccaFog]

Hi Megan,

   I'm sorry you had to go through that.  I was already offended because the woman couldn't accept your reason for the serum prolactin test.  Then when she asked what you would need a pregnancy test for, it got worse.  Common sense says there is a reason a doctor would ask for, or approve, it.
   I'm kind of like you.  I would just go to another place for my tests.  I wouldn't go back and start anything.  I can see why some people would, though.

   Please don't let this stay with you.  You're on track and that's the important thing.


Rebis

[tinkerbell]

I would complain to everyone I could think of until they fire her posterior off!

tink

[Kat]

That is just terrible! I'm sorry hun 

Not being able to bring my own into this world is something I am always sad about.  However, I do plan on adopting later on in life, and thinking about that does make me feel better.

[Hazumu]

Do complain, Megan.

That was not right.  Please let the management know of the incident and that you will not be directing your cash-flow toward them any more unless they are able to 1) make the disrespectful incident up to you, and 2) take adequate steps to greatly reduce the potential for this kind of incident occurring and providing an easy-to-use remedy (such as a customer ombudsman) to swiftly remedy any future incidents that DO occur.

Basically, discipline or fire the employee who belittled you, give everybody sensitivity training, and provide and clearly post directions for using a complaint hotline.

Oh, and of course, you should not wait for their action, but find a lab where they treat you with dignity and respect.

Karen

[tinkerbell]

I think that we may be acting "too Californian".  I actually don't know if things work the same way in the rest of the world as they do here in Utopia.

tink

[cindianna_jones]

Public humiliation is never fun let alone for something that touches us like this.

Megan, please lodge a formal complaint.  A person like this has no business working in the health care field.

Cindi

[MeghanAndrews]

That is so completely unbelievable Megan, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Some people are so hurtful just by their very nature. They go through life never really caring or even knowing how the impact other people. Don't let the ignorance get to you!

[Hazumu]

I think that we may be acting "too Californian".  I actually don't know if things work the same way in the rest of the world as they do here in Utopia.

tink

But, Tink -- Utopia is right next to Oz!



-K

[tinkerbell]

But, Tink -- Utopia is right next to Oz!



-K

LOL true.  I just don't want people to think that Californians (a.k.a. Utopians) are snobs (although I know that most people think that.  )

tink

[Nero]

It's transphobia, ignorance about transpeople, insensitivity, etc.
That woman would never have giggled about a barren GG. She would know that the subject is likely a very sore point with a GG. When will people realize that transwomen have the same needs, feelings, instincts, hurts, as genetic women? That if you wouldn't say it to a genetic woman, you shouldn't say it to a transwoman.
I'm sorry you had to endure the cruel indifference of this woman, Megan.

[MeganRose]

On the one hand I kind of feel I should complain, go in there, make a scence, demand changes made and recompense given. Stand up for my rights and my feelings, all of that.

On the other hand, I just dont have the energy for it. I'm sick of, simply because of who I am, coming into situations where ignorance results in me feeling upset and angry. I'm sick of feeling like I have to stand up to ignorance, educate the person making the comments so it never happens again. Really, all the formal complaints and sensitivity training in the world isn't going to make the fact that I was upset by what she said change, and taking petty revenge by trying to get the woman fired isn't going to make me feel any better either.

There's always going to be ignorance. Complaining about the treatment I recieved isn't going to make me feel less upset about not being able to have children, it will probably only get me more upset in the end, make me think about it a lot more, and it's obviously not going to result in me miraculously being able to concieve a child or anything like that. Really, I'd rather just cry about it and then try and move on. It might hurt less that way.

Megan

[Sheila]

Megan, that receptionist was very rude. She has no place in that office or anyother medical office. The doctor ordered you those tests, what makes her think that she can say you don't need those tests? I would have made a scene. If you don't go back at all, you should most certainly tell who ever is in charge what happened. I'm sure they would love to know about this lady playing doctor on their time. I would like to know the group name or this business, maybe we all could write letters to the main office and let them know what happened.
  Just like you and others, I have always wanted to give birth and feel a living person inside me growing. I have always wanted all those monthlies that I would probably hate after a while. I wanted all of that. It hurts me to have someone say you are lucky you didn't have to go through all that. Maybe I was, but I wanted them anyway.
Sheila

[LostInTime]

Please let them know about this incident. We cannot be doormats any longer and standing up to these injustices is a great way to get the message across.

[Terra]

Megan, I agree with you on your desire to avoid a scene. But I would suggest at least sending an email to your doctor or a letter telling him of this woman. If she outright giggles unapologetically at you, than what other unprofessional things might she have or will do to other people whether they are trans or not? I can't imagine that a doctor's office would wish to leave this alone. This raises to many question about this employee and her actions. I'm not saying go into outraged customer mode, but a calm direct letter explaining what incident lead to you leaving this office. Don't ask for her job, just state why you feel like moving on, let them handle whatever it is they feel they must do. Then put the incident out of mind.

You are right, somethings will never change. Hopefully if we are all vocal in how we spend our money, people will pay attention more. If they won't listen to reason, then perhaps the cash register. Sorry she hit you in a sensitive subject.I hope that if you wish to become a mother someday you will have options available to you.

[MeganRose]

Well, I did something. More out of neccessity than anything else, mind you.

I couldn't find anywhere else that would do the tests for me and have them ready for when I need them. So I went back again. It went relatively painlessly, though I didn't talk to a manager or cause a scene or anything. When I walked I politely asked the receptionist to send me through next because I wasn't happy with how long they had made me wait the last time I was there, only to find out that the tests couldn't be done that day. She was more than happy to. And once I was sent through to get the tests done, I explained to the woman who was doing them what had happened when I was last there. She apologized, which was all I really needed, and on top of that said I wouldn't have to pay for the tests, which was unexpected.

I don't know if thats enough to bring me back the next time, when I actually have the luxury of time to get the tests done. But the apology meant a lot, even if it wasn't from the woman who caused all of this business in the first place. And I don't think I'll be taking this issue any further as a result.

Megan

[Megan]

Hi Megan,

I like your name. I had a few problems with "lab" people when I was preparing to go full time. I think I was triggering reactions in them because I was nervous and because I had not yet changed my name. I never ran into anything quite like you did, though. There was the X-ray technician that for some reason felt compelled to tell me about his sexual enounter with a TS. That was a little annoying. But there hasn't been anything that I felt I had to complain about.

I received a lab report in the mail that implied that I was pregnant. Unfortunately the hormone being tested, BHCG, is also a marker for certain other things you don't want to find out that you have, but the automated lab test notice didn't take that into account. It was no laughing matter, but I did laugh about being informed that I was pregnant.

[Sara]

You know, I havent posted in like ages but this post caught my eye. Funny thing happened to me when the doctors decided to take me off hormones due to them thinking I didnt need them anymore for some reason but my estrogen fell and progesterone hit the roof and wam my prolactin level jumped sky high, they thought I had a tumor on the brain but no it was pregnancy. Had the same thing happen "but you cannot get pregnant" well tell that to my body that is puking feeling all gooey for babies and not liking the smell of certain foods but wanting to eat more and more, dizzy like crazy, anemia and finally lactation. I never felt this bad in my life but at the same felt more in tune with myself. Even the endocrinologist said but you know you cant get pregnant and I said well you know obviously my body doesnt know that, the only thing it cannot do is give birth, two completely different things.

Sara.