Hate and ignorence of some

[suzifrommd]

They probably think I'm some kind of lunatic but it works, suddenly I'm no longer an object of their derision and not so funny anymore. 

I admire you Shantel.

Though I can't help but be sad that it takes a capacity for violence to earn respect in our culture.

[Shantel]

I admire you Shantel.

Though I can't help but be sad that it takes a capacity for violence to earn respect in our culture.

The entire world is governed by the power of the fear of death which can be described in terms of varying degrees of failure to totally ceasing existence.

[OlderTG]

Shantel,
I'll have to admit that my first reaction to your manner of handling those men was negative. But it worked for you. And I guess we each have to find what will work for us. I've got to say that fortunately I did not have your experiences in SE Asia - I was one of the privileged and had orders for Viet Nam for less than a week before they were withdrawn as the war wound down. That's not the point though.

I respect you for having gone through all that and now have faced yourself for who you truly are and can stand up for yourself in the face of the Neanderthals of this world. Yes, fear did work for you and one can only hope that somewhere in there, those guys learned something about keeping stupid comments out of earshot of their 'targets'. I agree somewhat in suzifrommd's comment about being sad that it takes the capacity for violence to earn respect. I disagree in that I don't believe its always necessary, but I guess it is a Teddy Roosevelt kind of thing.

[Shantel]

I really don't have a violent bone in my body but I found out early on in my life that some respond well to sweetness while others see it as a sign of weakness and a signal that they can prey on others with impunity and make themselves feel superior while walking figuratively on another person's face. These latter types are fear mongers, bullies by nature and they do these things when they have an audience of their own peers with them. However their fears can be turned against them in a pleasant manner while speaking in a soft voice and smiling all the while, it's called verbal judo and it requires a person to remain quiet initially and work through a quick mental strategy for a few minutes rather than just explode at them, it's so much more effective and relays a message that this person has self control and may even be dangerous. My pocket knife was simply a handy prop I used as a visual aid as I pretended to clean my nails, but it or anything can be used to draw their visual attention including pretending to wave at a friend across the room. A lot of trans folks could benefit from mastering it as a peaceful means of mentally disarming an opponent in a social setting. There's a book at Amazon by that title that is an excellent piece of instruction. "Verbal Judo".