Not sure on how to begin, but about two months ago i finnally decided to face up to the distinct possibility that i might be trans... im in my mid thirties and have been in and out of therapy several times over my life in attempts to deal with other issues. But those times i hated to even think about why i was going and would often miss appointments when it was just up to me to get there and not someone else.
Karma...
Now though due to my job the best i can do is once a month and its driving crazy.
I've always tried to be patient before when dealing with my life, but for several reasons it's like i can't hold off on this anymore and need to handle this now.
I've ignored this my entire life up to this point. I've crossdressed off and on over the years, but i've never even dreamed or considered talking about it to any of the therapiststhat i had seen before.
The thing is at this rate it is going to take me forever to sort myself out because i have so many past issues that i might not be over that could possibly be effecting my judgment on what i feel i want.
The theripist wants to unravel all these threads knotted together, but theres alot in my past that i don't want to rehash anymore. Nothing i say can change the past and make it go away or lessen the impact it had on me.
The only thing that can change is my future and i just want it to be a happy one. I stated that to the theapist and i know its just due dillegence on his part(i do agree with him... reluctantly though). But it is frustrating none the less.
I wish i could go weekly or even bi monthly but once again due to the nature of my job i can not garuntee that I'dbe able. to make the appointments, heck its sat night and i didn't know untill 2 hours ago if I'dbe able to make my mid week appointment next week. Technically i could.still miss it..
A side note i posted this via tablet and its not letting me scroll up to fix typo's so plz forgive improper grammer, spelling, puntuation...
