Hey all!
So, a bit about me. I've been ghosting these forums for a while now. Years, actually. Enough to know that my story fits into the common narrative of what drives us all here. I'm late thirties. I have a wife, a two year old. A career. I'm an author, too.
As many of us have, I've experienced waves of this over the past decades. What started out as part of me I was curious about has picked up steam as of late. Sometime during my SO's pregnancy, I was hit with a particular hard shot of dysphoria and really it hasn't subsided. I went to therapy a couple of times, enough to know I was in trouble. I even tried two bouts of laser hair removal. And, of course, I did three months of DIY hormones just to prove what I already know.
So, now what? Well...I don't know. I'm stricken with the fear of coming out. Like, paralyzed. Things have not been good in my marriage, but I feel I owe it to my SO to give her some part of what she wants in life. And lately, we've had a good run of financial certainty with both of us having good jobs. Yet, I feel like a ticking bomb.
I don't know. It feels so trivial to put this down, but I want to say that no matter what path I take, many of you have been inspirations for me.
Thanks for reading,
Stacy
