How to meet other trans* people?

[Out-Of-The-Night]

For a while I've been wanting to have friends who understand what I'm going through on terms of gender. However, I don't really know where or how to meet other transgender people, much less transgender teenagers who actually have something in common with me. My therapist brought up going to a queer teen support group, but after doing some research I've found that all of the ones in my area are at least any hour away.
Is anyone in the same situation, and do you guys have any advice? Thanks

[suzifrommd]

Are you in school? The school where I work has a gay/straight alliance, which is where the students who are queer in some way (and a bunch of others) hang out. They may know about resources in the community for queer teens. Our local PFLAG chapter has a rainbow youth chapter that's very strong.

At the very worst, you may need to start your own gay/straight alliance or your own support group.

[Frankie]

Yeah I've been wondering about making friends with people like also, my therapist recommended that I make at least 1 friend who can relate. I am not sure how to go about it, I am not into bars/clubs etc. Maybe someday.

[Out-Of-The-Night]

Are you in school? The school where I work has a gay/straight alliance, which is where the students who are queer in some way (and a bunch of others) hang out. They may know about resources in the community for queer teens. Our local PFLAG chapter has a rainbow youth chapter that's very strong.

At the very worst, you may need to start your own gay/straight alliance or your own support group.

Yeah, I'm a junior in high school. There aren't any other trans* kids in the GSA (or the school as a whole), but I do think that I'll go to a meeting later this week anyway. Even if they can't really understand it'll probably be a good way to meet people who are likely to be accepting.

[pianoforte]

There are quite a few teenagers on this site who might make good friends. In general I find it is easier to make friends online, especially when looking within a minority community. Seems like you have art least found a good place to start here. I don't know much about meeting people in person, though. I'm shy.

[Nicole]

can i say I've been to 1 support group meeting in my life, I left balling my eyes out, never went back and it did nothing for me.

When I came out, I was still in high school and I was bullied day in day out, After coming out we moved to Melbourne a few weeks/months later, but we made almost a weekly trip to Melbourne (when flights were around $300 one way mind you) to see a doctor in Melbourne.
She said that maybe I should try the support group, so I went along.

From the second I walked in the door I was scared.
I had 1 woman tell me that it was a fuze, this was a 60 something, pre-everything, heavy make up, could kick the door down with a drop punt trans woman.
I had one say that until I've walked a day in her shoes I wasn't trans.
I had one say that because I was a teenager, I was a little C*** and I was just gay.

Needless to say I called mum who came and got me. At this stage I was sitting outside, in the rain in tears and it was the only time I ever thought about hurting myself.

So, for my time with support groups, i wouldn't say they're any good if you're young. You seem to get bitter old people who are just pissed off that you worked all this out in your teens.

I would try facebook, even make contact with people within 150km (100 miles) on here.

[Amy The Bookworm]

can i say I've been to 1 support group meeting in my life, I left balling my eyes out, never went back and it did nothing for me.

When I came out, I was still in high school and I was bullied day in day out, After coming out we moved to Melbourne a few weeks/months later, but we made almost a weekly trip to Melbourne (when flights were around $300 one way mind you) to see a doctor in Melbourne.
She said that maybe I should try the support group, so I went along.

From the second I walked in the door I was scared.
I had 1 woman tell me that it was a fuze, this was a 60 something, pre-everything, heavy make up, could kick the door down with a drop punt trans woman.
I had one say that until I've walked a day in her shoes I wasn't trans.
I had one say that because I was a teenager, I was a little C*** and I was just gay.

Needless to say I called mum who came and got me. At this stage I was sitting outside, in the rain in tears and it was the only time I ever thought about hurting myself.

So, for my time with support groups, i wouldn't say they're any good if you're young. You seem to get bitter old people who are just pissed off that you worked all this out in your teens.

I would try facebook, even make contact with people within 150km (100 miles) on here.

Wow.

I'm so sorry that was your experience!

I'm 33. I'm aware that the chances are against me being particularly pretty and that passing will possibly be harder if it's possible at all for me at my age. But ... to be so bitter and angry at someone for being young and figuring something out and dealing with it that those people didn't until they were older ... geez!

The few trans people I've met who are younger than me, I may disagree with them on some things (Politics, different world views, bright pink mini skirts, nose rings ) but I've always been very proud of them for transitioning when younger, and I actually am inspired by them because they're being so brave to do this so young, which is something I find they're often surprised to hear, because it's probably the first time in their lives someone older than them looks up to them.

Nicole, don't ever listen to people like that.

[LordKAT]

I have never been to an in person support group, not do I see the need for one. The treatment you received was anything but supportive and furthers my desire to not go to one. I have a friend who believes in them however. Age may be a factor as her age is in the 60's.


I'm sure there are better support groups. I have never been to a GSA one but I have seen them meet. I wonder if many of them are any better since they are in high schools anyway.

[kelly_aus]

I'll be honest, apart from here at Susan's and one other online place, I have nothing to do with trans people.. Well, there is my gyno, but she doesn't really count. I found the trans community a little too toxic and fixed in it's ideas for me - it was clear that I was never going to fit in, we had little, if anything, in common apart from being trans.. And it seems I've got a much different approach to that to most of them too..

[suzifrommd]

can i say I've been to 1 support group meeting in my life, I left balling my eyes out, never went back and it did nothing for me.

I've been to about a half dozen trans support groups in my travels. Some were atrociously awful. Some were OK. Some were really welcoming and helpful.

The worst was one I went to in Washington Crossing NJ, a few weeks after my surgery when I was still staying with my sister. It was run by a group of male crossdressers. Nothing wrong with that, but they were all about reminiscing about their cross dressing experiences and not at all about welcoming new people. There was someone there for their very first time, just coming out of the closet, and they were basically ignored, as was the lone transguy in the room, who ended up walking out partway through because no one paid attention to him.

However the first one I went to was welcoming and friendly, even though I didn't think I was going to transition. I shudder to think where I was today if I hadn't stayed.

So the moral of the story is, if you get a bad support group but still want one, keep looking (or start your own).

[DaGirl]

I have not met and transgender people in my area yet. There are not very many people who even accept transgender here.

[Nicole]

Wow.

I'm so sorry that was your experience!

I'm 33. I'm aware that the chances are against me being particularly pretty and that passing will possibly be harder if it's possible at all for me at my age. But ... to be so bitter and angry at someone for being young and figuring something out and dealing with it that those people didn't until they were older ... geez!

The few trans people I've met who are younger than me, I may disagree with them on some things (Politics, different world views, bright pink mini skirts, nose rings ) but I've always been very proud of them for transitioning when younger, and I actually am inspired by them because they're being so brave to do this so young, which is something I find they're often surprised to hear, because it's probably the first time in their lives someone older than them looks up to them.

Nicole, don't ever listen to people like that.

I never listened to those bitter old hags!
It was funny way down the track, I was in some Yahoo chat room one day for trans people in Australia and a few of them were in there, they were still very bitter and I let loose with one of the best sprays I've ever done.

[Felix]

I personally like support groups and I've gotten a lot of use out of them, but I understand they aren't always helpful and aren't for everybody. I like meetup groups a lot too, and I've met some very good people on various listservs.

It might help to focus on non-trans intentional social interaction as well. I don't run into many natural situations where anyone has even heard of trans people, but when I volunteer with the library or civil rights organizations, I find a lot of understanding and acceptance.

I don't really know what I would do if I were in your situation. The internet is a wonderful tool, and it might be worth whatever it takes to travel occasionally to meet with people in person.