The nonbinary process- tell us of your journey down that path to the forest

[Taka]

i drink beer at the beach...
why don't we just find some nice big lake in the forest? i don't think the water needs to be salty just to enjoy the white sandy beach.

we do have our highs and lows, and it seems about as uncontrollable as gender switching is for me.
just happens, but i'm sure we can find better ways to handle it though.

[Dread_Faery]

Could we find a skatepark next to a lake? And mines a cider

[Taka]

what we can't find, we will create. it's our own reality after all.

[ativan]

what we can't find, we will create. it's our own reality after all.

Truth

[Mark3]

Update on my journey. 

I'm getting a lot more comfortable being me.
Ive noticed it in lots of different parts of my life.
I'm more self secure than I used to be.
I've gone from feeling defensive about parts of
myself I used to be uncomfortable showing others
openly, to being proud of some of my differences in
the way I am.
I don't let others bother me as much as I used to,
and have worked a lot on rising above it when someone
looks at me funny for liking something different, or tries
to point out my faults in how I'm thinking about myself now.
Im still in the beginning I know, but Im moving ahead every day.
I don't want to dwell on my old feelings anymore than necessary,
and an making a daily effort to learn and expand my knowledge about my personal differences in gender identity from that of many around me in the real world..
Thank you to everyone here so much, you don't know your topics, posts and comments are helping me understand things better, but they are, and you are.!
I really love many here so sincerely.!

End of update... 

[Taka]

that sounds very healthy and interesting too.
i think many binary and cis people also could benefit from learning to be more open as the person they are, and not care too much about what a few other people think.
my impression is that most people don' really care too mych, and the ones who always find fault or insist on not understanding, are in the minority.

[Mark3]

that sounds very healthy and interesting too.
i think many binary and cis people also could benefit from learning to be more open as the person they are, and not care too much about what a few other people think.
my impression is that most people don' really care too mych, and the ones who always find fault or insist on not understanding, are in the minority.

That's very well put, I think you're very right.
I don't think most people care about it too much, but it has seemed to set back some close friendships I had.
I don't know how to explain that, I'm sure there's a reason why when CIS friends find out you don't think of yourself in those terms any longer, it tends to push most away a distance, even if they say we're still friends.?
Oh well, it is what it is.. 

[helen2010]

Mark

So far so good.  Old friends have been really good, positive, interested and supportive.  All of them have said that they felt privileged that I was sharing this intimate insight with them.  So far it feels like it has made the relationships deeper, more trusted, honest and authentic.  The challenge for me is to know when to stop talking, as I love talking about the trans experience and they don't seem to think it is a big deal once they know that I am ok

Safe travels

Aisla

[Mark3]

That sounds so nice Aisla, I wish I had friends like that.
My best friends in real life are older 40-50+ like me, and
are pretty set in they're ways, and what they think.
They say they're so tolorant, but not really. Its not they're
fault, its just how they were raised and taught.

[Shantel]

Some of my old friends have gone by the wayside or moved away. Even though I'm pretty darned old in years both my wife and I find that we are more readily accepted by a younger set in their 30's and 40's and enjoy being with them, probably because of my eldest son who is Mr. Party Central and loves to entertain big crowds we always get invited and are missed if we don't show up.

[Mark3]

I hear ya Shan, thats me to. Most of the people I connect with are younger..

People have told me I'm an old person with a young soul, sounds like we share in that trait.!

[Shantel]

I hear ya Shan, thats me to. Most of the people I connect with are younger..

People have told me I'm an old person with a young soul, sounds like we share in that trait.!

Most people my age are old geezers and look, act, dress and behave like it, I'm just resistant to all that old person stuff as long as I have what it takes I'd prefer not to think and act as if I'm about to drop dead any moment. There's a proverb that says, "As a man thinks, therefore he is" meaning if you think and act old you will get there in a hurry, I'm up for smelling the roses and enjoying life thank you!

[JulieBlair]

Satin Joy, Mark, and other denizens of the forest,

I've just spent the time to read this thread and am better for the experience.  Thank You - I love all of you.  I'm afraid I'm crying a little, I have been doing that a lot lately.  My journey is harder than I would hope right now.  Tuesday the legal process begins anew.  I so identify with Suzi, I need to have surgery to be whole, but wholeness is every bit as much defined inside as out, and the inside journey markers keep moving.

I was contemplating a season ending run down the coast this weekend, but the weather is stormy and I am a biker bitch wimp these days.  I am with a lover who keeps me safe and warm instead, which is good because I keep wanting to take stupid risks on motorcycles and elsewhere. 

There is a special mountain in the north cascades that I once free climbed alone in an afternoon of insanity.  I spent the night on the top of naked granite, with 1000 meter nearly vertical cliffs all around.  The next morning hypothermic and euphoric I managed to down climb without peeling off.  I lived, at the time that was bittersweet.  I've always wondered why?  Perhaps because I needed to find this special forest.

My story is documented all over these pages and that is enough.  My life has traveled from political activist nerd kid - to crazy theater person - to engineer computer geek - to woman/man/child becoming - to whatever I am today.  I have too much to do to die, and too many people who need me to run.

So what is left is acceptance and growth, but it is sometimes so very hard.  I am so very grateful that all of you are here.

Peace,
Julie

[Mark3]

I'm so glad your here Julie.
You're so real and down to earth, I love reading your journey and experiences.
I will be hoping so much you get all of the surgeries and everything you need to feel complete.
You're so right too, our changes are both within and on the outside.
hugs 

[Shantel]

Julie!
    I finally sold my motorcycle, there was a big umbilical cord between me and that machine that was hard to cut. I was an all weather riding lunatic and almost got smooshed by cars and trucks several times. Spent some time on the peaks overnight as well, but I'm a comfort creature now and prefer to look at them from a distance. Glad you're here in the forest with the rest of us critters, you are indeed a very special person we can all love and appreciate. You're not going anywhere, we won't let you sweetie!

[JulieBlair]

Shan,
Except that I have never been shot at, sometimes I think we are twins. 
j

[Shantel]

Shan,
Except that I have never been shot at, sometimes I think we are twins. 
j

Yes but the way the world is that could change! If we are twins then mom must have loved you best because you are very attractive and well, just look at me, I can't do a thing with my hair! 

[Dread_Faery]

I told Facebook about being non binary... No one batted an eyelid

[Shantel]

I told Facebook about being non binary... No one batted an eyelid

A good sign, they either got it or it went right over their heads. Either way you don't need any drama or conflict!

[Taka]

came out to this girl, and after assuring her that beard and mini-penis are ok with me, all she commented was that "would've been a shame if i were a lesbian".
didn't explain anything other than wanting t to grow manlier. seems she got it without needing labels for anything.