I have fought with this topic for awhile too, prolly still am a bit to be honest but I guess I will chime in w/ my thoughts and opinions on it too.
I certainly don't think that it is weird or abnormal to go from thinking you are 100% trans to having doubts to thinking you're a crossdresser cuz I do it too. Depending on my mood, what's going on, what I am thinking about, I go from being omg it's so obvious I am trans to who am I kidding, I'm not trans, I'll never pass, I'll never be seen as a women, etc.
Quote from: Asche on September 09, 2014, 03:04:52 PM
I also know that I have never felt like I was a woman in a man's body. So for years, I assumed I was just a cross-dresser.
Its certainly not unheard of to never have considered yourself as a woman in a man's body either. I never really thought about it until recently so I can say the same is true of me as well and I know there are others who feel the same way, so that doesn't mean you are not or cannot be trans.
Quote from: Asche on September 09, 2014, 03:04:52 PM
Except that my experience of cross-dressers on the web (the sites I visited, at least) was that they were very different from me. They came across as Manly Men (including the sexism and misogyny) who sometimes liked to dress up and pretend they were women, without knowing (or wanting to know) what it was really like to be a woman. I tried to engage with them, but my gut reaction was always that I want no part of this. (And I don't think they wanted any part of me, either.) If I'm a cross-dresser, I'm not that kind of cross-dresser. That's another thing that doesn't change.
I am going to steal

something that I have heard here for this one. If you have met one trans person, well you have met one trans person. Sure, trans people share some similarities but not all of em. Everyone is different, their stories are different, backgrounds are different etc.
The same is true for crossdressers. Some do it for sexual releases, some do it just in private, some do it part time, some do it full time, some do it to be seen/treated as women, some just like women's fashion etc etc etc..
Just because you don't fit in exactly with crossdressers or trans people doesn't mean that you are or are not one, can or cannot be one.
Quote from: Asche on September 09, 2014, 03:04:52 PM
A little vaguer in my mind is how I feel about my body. Mostly, I just don't think of it, the way I just don't think about dying. When I do, I feel like I'm ugly. I don't know how much is because I look male (I've never found the male form attractive) and how much because I feel like I am intrinsicly ugly (so I'd think I was ugly even if I looked like a supermodel.) Sometimes I imagine I would have been happier if I had a female body, but then I think that could just be me thinking the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I don't know if this counts as body dysphoria.
I am right there with ya on this. I've always felt I was hideous, I don't really know why, if its because I look male or not or if I just think I am ugly and nothing is ever gonna change that. Given a choice, I know I'd rather have a female body, I can't imagine it not being 1000x better than the one I got, and that's because I imagine if I was happier about my appearance that that = happier about life = better life, but like you I wonder if I'm thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence as well.
My advice: Don't really worry about labels. Sure it is nice to be able to say, hey I'm such and such, but labels don't always really fit, are confusing as hell sometimes, stressful as hell many times and can mean different things to different people.
Focus on what you wanna do, how you wanna be, how you wanna be seen, how you feel, stuff like that. Take all the time you need to figure that out; there is no rush. Trust yourself, trust you feelings, experiment and take things slow.