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I is Who?

Started by Peggiann, December 13, 2005, 03:01:59 AM

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Peggiann

:) Hi,

I'm Peggiann. My signifigant other is Leah. We have been married for all most 25 years. We share my 3 sons. Leah came into our lives just 2 and 1/2 years after my husband had died. I was 27 at the time. My boys were only 5, 2 1/2, and 1 years old at the time. Leah has been a posititive role model for them and taught them so much. They are now all married and have successful jobs and careers. One married a lady with 3 children from a previous marriage. The youngest just made us grand parents this past March. So Carson is now 9 months. The other son has no children yet. We also share some Adopted children from a previous marriage of Leah's. They all live miles away too. So we don't see them much.

I have only known about Leah's deepest inner desire for 5 1/2 years. Those being to become as much a woman as possible. And eventually to have SRS. Now that Leah has shared this part of herself I understand so many other things that hurt my feelings throughout our married time together. They don't hurt anymore because now I know the reason for Leah's behavior. Leah wasn't meaning to hurt me or even have the issue reflect on me personally. I being female just figured I was doing something wrong. It was only how he was before he started becoming Leah.

I must say this is not just declaring ones intentions and then from then on it's done. It's an evolving thing isn't it? I would have thought things would have moved on a bit faster. I realize the Leah has respect for his Mom and her feelings and not wanting to cause her any embarrassment in our very small town. We lost Leah's Dad in November of 2004. So Dad knew nothing and as far as that goes neither does anyone else at this point...I'm the only one Leah has confided in. I make no judgment in the issue. I only wish she would have shared all this sooner so she could have been relieved of so much pressure she felt all that time.

My side the family is so far away that they have never been very involved in our lives anyway. I'm forth in a line of eleven children all with the same parents too. They rarely ever write or call or travel across the mile to visit us. In 25 years I have traveled home only 4 times. I used to call and write but decided the one-way thing was not very fulfilling. So now it's been 2 years since contact.

Leah is has been on hormone replacement therapy for some months now. When she's moody I tell her and then we do what needs to be done to fix it. More sleep, more hormones, Talk about what or how she's feeling, what ever it takes. She gets depressed sometimes because the choice to wait till her mom is not here to see the changes. I tell her I understand and that she may want to rethink this issue when it makes her so unhappy at times. I had a hormone crash myself some 9 years ago but only finally found out what was happening and causing my health issues a year and 4 months ago. So I can see some of the signs coming. I take boi-idenical hormones now too.

Leah doesn't really want to dress the part of female. But has started that recently because of requirements for SRS. The name choice is for that reason also. Some of this part is confusing to me. But as long as she knows what she wants that's what's important. Her pace at developing into Leah is her own and has to be. Part of these choices is because of her size. She is 6'2" tall. 200 Lbs. very muscular, and slightly balding and a receding hairline. Her work she's done since 16 has been manually requiring this body build. This past year she has been trying to figure out what else we can do for her vocation. That's still in the figuring stage.

I have done many things mostly dealing with working with children. Tottering, teaching baton twirling, dance, gymnastics and pageant coordination, make up and clothing and interviewing and modeling. I have taught school. I have worked in an answering service, and hotel desk clerk. For the past 6 years I have been and enjoy very much my position as a Tupperware Executive Manager.

There!  That's me. And a condense version of our story.

I've read a lot on Susan Place. I've been very impressed with how encouraging everyone is. How supportive from both side of the scene, those living out these issues and those living with them. As we continue into the path we share I'm glad to know you are here for us. So Thank for being you! And Thanks for being there for us all.

Smiles, and bless you each and everyone,
Peggiann

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elleane

Welcome to Susan's, Peggiann!  :)

Lovely to have both you and Leah here.


Elleane

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stephanie_craxford

Hello Peggiann.

And welcome to Susan's.  It's so good that you are both here.  Many forget that what affects us, affects our spouses equally so.  In essence they need just as much support and caring as we do.  We often forget that and we get wrapped up in our transition, issues, and what ever else, forgetting those who love and support us.  I don't have to tell you how hard it is as you, like my spouse and I, are experiencing it first hand.

Just remember we are here for you if you need us, just ask.  I think that it's also important that you are here for us as well.  Not wanting to scare you off but I'm sure that there are others here who would have questions of you and how you have coped or are coping, your victories and your defeats so to speak.

So enjoy your stay, you're among friends,

Steph
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Peggiann

Thanks Steph, for your encouraging word. I felt at home when I read so many of the other's stories and experiences before jumping in. I'm kind of that way. I have to watch a little first. Then it's easy to let go.

I'm always open to visit about anything anyone wants to ask or discuss. So It's ok if others have questions I'll do my best to answer as openly and truthfully as I can.

Thanks again,
Peggiann
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Cassandra

Hi Peggiann,

It is so good to here from you. It is rare that a TS and an SO will sign on to Susans together and share their story from both sides. Kudos to the both of you. They are probably the best if not top ten of intorductions on this forum. Know that we are here for both of you. Like Steph my wife and I are going through this together and personally I don't know how I would have gotten this far without her. She doesn't post here but she is aware and is glad for the support I derive from being here. We hope to here from both of you often. So as I have already said to your SO. Fix yourself a cup of tea, or other relaxing beverage, sit down, take your shoes off and set a spell.

Good Journey,

Cassie
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Leah

The "I is who" was to have a double meaning. A cleaver way to answer your questions you might have ask given the chance, and secondly to imply that WOW do we really know ourselves as well as we should. I mean we live inside the body and know all the basics, hunger, need to relieve ourselves, cold or too hot, need for bathing, ect. But those are all surface matters and shallow. I've been given the chance to find out what I'm really made of and do I like what I see. So far I still react and intiate my actions and tongue with how I would want to be treated. I couldn't intentinally hurt someone without feeling hurt and guilt for it afterwords. I guess that's from being taught growing up with " If you  can't say something nice don't sy anything at all.' ... and "If it will hurt someone else best keep it to yourself." and ... "If it's not the truth don't say it." So Far this is the most refreshing place to see these setiments practiced so unifiedly from a group.
Thanks for being you and letting others be who they need to be.
Peggiann
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sharidove

Wecome Peggiann,

Melissa and I are also a couple that frequent this forum. Melissa and I have been married 8 years and I just found out 2 months ago. She is just starting the slow journey of transition to the eventual SRS. I am supportive and happy about the possitive changes in Melissa. I would like to know what the past 5 years have been like for you and Leah. I don't know if it would have been easier or tougher if we had been married longer. We have an added difficulty with two small children. I also can't imagine being married 25 years then finding out. It's tough no matter how or when you fing out.

Obviously I can't give you any advice as you have been dealing with this much longer than I have. We can still support each other though. Welcome to Susan's and I hope to talk with you more.

Shari
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Peggiann

HI Shari,

:)

Thankyou for your kind words. I'm sure we'll be able to relate to one anothers needs. I don't think time and age and things like that cause any sort of barrior on these issues.

I posted what I hope will help some on the signicant other's forum. I titled it for what you requested. "Life after finding out my significant other is Tg and is planning on SRS. Only moved it there because I thought more might see it and be helped by what I shared. So any of the rest that read this please feel free to go and read it too. It was not ment to exclude any one.

Hope this is what you are wanting to know.

Have a Great Day, ^-^
Peggiann
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ILoveTSWomen

Nice to have you, I like your descriptive posts... paints a good picture

DennisInGA (or DIGA in shorthand)  :)
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Shelley

Hi Piggian,

Thankyou for sharing your story with us. As you already know from your post we are a sharing group. So welcome to Susan's and of course feel free to join in our posts as you input will add to the experience that is Susan's.

Shelley
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