Where do I start?
I'm a (soon to be) 28-year-old mtf transsexual. I have not started hormones yet, but I am hoping to get started before the end of the year. I currently dress and present as a man, but I want to have that changed by next year. I've done my research and have started visiting support groups and will be seeing a therapist soon.
I've struggled with this practically all of my life. I can remember these thoughts and feelings being present as far back as when I was 6. I was never the type who thought he was a girl, but I was fairly androgenous and did feel more comfortable on the feminine side. I remember being that young and wearing wigs and wanting to be a tomboy. So maybe that's why the thoughts of transitioning confused me for so long.
Anyway, I strongly considered transitioning when I was 18, but decided against it because there were things I hadn't experienced as a man, such as sex with women. Well, that happened, and while I can say I fell in love at times, it just never really felt right being with women. I was also very close to transitioning when I was 19, 21, and 25, but it just never happened. I was too afraid that maybe it was the wrong decision. It got worse when I told my parents a couple years ago and I had to retract what I said because I couldn't stand my mother crying all the time.
Well, after coming out to a friend and visiting group, and accepting and identifying myself as trans I have been so much happier. I don't know if it will last when I have to come out (again) to my family, but I have to remind myself how much better I've felt since knowing this is happening. I'm not nearly as stressed, I sleep better, and life in general just makes so much more sense. This has been such an amazing experience so far and I'm only on the first step. I'm still nervous about the road ahead, but I'm now 100% certain it is the road to take.
It took me a while to register here because I couldn't even think of a username. Silly, I know. I'm not even sure if this is the name I'll use since I'm still a bit away from presenting female in public. I just wanted to get on here and share a bit of my story. I'll try to post more, but my transition is going slow, so I may not have as much to say about my progress for weeks or even months at a time. I still haven't come out to a lot of people too, so I may be a bit secretive for a while. I just hope that those who are as nervous or stressed as I was in life will take my one advice: Find and talk to other trans people. Coming out is one of the most amazing feelings ever.
Sorry if this got a bit long. I just have years of holding this in and I'm just too excited to finally let it all out.
