Thanks.
So first, I ended up having a moment of being super inspired after watching a transition video thing on YouTube, and got brave enough to straighten my hair for the first time. Really couldn't figure out how I was supposed to handle the very curly/puffy parts of my hair, but just from the little bit I did, it gave me a huge self confidence boost I guess.
And I did a bit more thinking today. Like I said, I really don't feel like it is safe to come out right now, but at some point during this last year of high school, I am hoping to get brave enough to ask my parents about starting therapy for the social issues, hopefully being able to bring up the gender identity side of it to the therapist. Probably a few months away from being that brave, but it is something I am seriously considering now.
I also thought a bit more about when I eventually do come out. I think the members of my family who would really be hard to accept it, are my 3 brothers and my dad. My 2 brothers who are old enough to understand are just a bit against LGBT stuff I guess, my older brother being a bit more accepting I guess. My dad, I really don't know, I just don't feel like he would be too accepting. I feel like my mom would be a bit more accepting, because I think she knows something is up, to a degree(she used to ask me if I wanted to do more girly things I guess, that was years ago though).
I think when I do come out, what is really going to help my family, is that the Catholic church that all but my oldest brother go to, is starting to really accept homosexuality and stuff more, or at least be a bit less judgmental about it. Though it doesn't matter much to me, I know a lot of my extended family would probably give my family a hard time for it, except for a few who have really shown support for the LGBT community to degrees.
Hmm.. Guess I am taking some advice I heard earlier this week, and really starting to plan what I want to do in the future... At least I feel a happy when I sit here dreaming about what my life could turn out like if things go right. For now though, I guess my main priority is to start gathering courage to ask my parents about therapy.