I feel like sharing the way I'm feeling about my transition. I love reading the positive stories from other guys and girls, so I hope this can even bring a smile.
Earlier today I met my therapist for a session. She's been there since I began about 2 years ago, and she is a rock for me. Now days I'm really getting to the end of transition, at least from a social aspect. Although there is some big surgical goals looming which keeps me looking forward. But reminded of where I started, and where I was two yeasr ago, the change and success is beyond amazing, and I forget to look back and appreciate how far I've come.
To even have such success in a social transition at 35ish without any body or facial surgery at all is such a gift. And such a potent thought... lends me such confidence. I know we're not all this lucky...
Not to paint the wrong picture, there were times were everything was on the line. Shortly after going full time and experiencing the full force of discrimination in the workplace, I chose to leave ( rather than being fired over lies and fabricated evidence ). I risked being unemployed and using up all of my savings put aside SRS and FFS. And risked getting into a hole of depression, and worse. But as luck would have it, or perhaps just through a sheer denial of the potential to fall, I managed to sign papers for the very next position just a couple of days after resigning. I was beyond lucky... As illegal as discrimination is, I would not have been so fortunate had they known me to be transgender.
There was also an terrible situation being very publicly outed, which I struggled with beyond mention. It nearly sank me. Just understanding why, understanding the reasons it impacted me so much took a long time. And taking lessons away from that rather than let it corrode me took even longer.
But you know, life knocks me down, I get up stronger...
Two years ago, I could not ever have imagined what was involved in transition, or imagined how much I would change in every perceivable and imperceivable way. Two years ago, I could not fathom the kind of woman I would grow to become, or the depth of self that could grow from the hollow life before. Two years ago, life was without the promise and future that I'm afforded now.
Transition really does make you deeper and stronger in every fiber. Don't forget to look back and appreciate.
