How manly is too manly??

[echo_artist]

I do feel as though I am in the wrong body n all.
I was wondering if some of you guys who do transition
keep some sort of femininity?
I consider myself to be a very femme guy and alot of people
that I bump into don't appreciate that. It's "either go big or
go home." kind of attitude when it comes to turning male...
I still like wearing dressing and all. I just feel like I'm cross dressing
when I do.
Am I weird for that....?

[makipu]

I don't think it's weird because I don't believe in clothes or anything material-wise for that matter defines gender. I am non binary and I would also pick out clothes from the 'womens' section although I am not into dresses but I do like them on dolls

[littleredrobinhood]

No such thing as "too manly".

But luckily, there's no such thing as "too femme", either.  (obviously, there are plenty who seem to think so - but believe me, they're wrong)

[aleon515]

No such thing as "too manly".

But luckily, there's no such thing as "too femme", either.  (obviously, there are plenty who seem to think so - but believe me, they're wrong)

I agree with this. Gender identity is who you. There is gender presentation. It's who you want to look like in the world and it may not correspond to you gender identity.

--Jay

[Maleth]

I agree with this. Gender identity is who you. There is gender presentation. It's who you want to look like in the world and it may not correspond to you gender identity.

--Jay

Agreed.

[Brandon]

I agree with this. Gender identity is who you. There is gender presentation. It's who you want to look like in the world and it may not correspond to you gender identity.

--Jay

I agree with the first part but the second part is kinda confusing to me and to me doesn't make since. You would think that if your gender idenity is male you would wanna look like that. I can understand being comfortable in certain clothes but... at the same time I believe you should dress as what you identify as thats the household and envionmemt I come from honestly its alittle weird but as long as your happy than I guess thats all that matters. No disrespect intended.

[muffinpants]

Nothing wrong or weird about that at all. It's unfortunate for trans people, I feel like they are more in the spotlight when it comes to their masculine and feminine interests. It is really nobody business. You know who you are and that is what matters!! Personally, I'm normally completely in love with more femme guys. I just find them more attractive, so I find it to be a good trait.

[aross1015]

Don't worry about it, echo.  People who say things like "well you're a man so you need to always dress THIS way, or act THIS way" are hurting not only trans people and those who don't conform to strict gender roles but themselves in the long run, because then when they don't live up to their own rigid gender rules in one way or another the society they've encoded with these gender rules shuns them. 

[littleredrobinhood]

I agree with the first part but the second part is kinda confusing to me and to me doesn't make since. You would think that if your gender idenity is male you would wanna look like that. I can understand being comfortable in certain clothes but... at the same time I believe you should dress as what you identify as thats the household and envionmemt I come from honestly its alittle weird but as long as your happy than I guess thats all that matters. No disrespect intended.

You can wear a dress, heels and make-up and still be dressing as man - a feminine man.  I identify as a man - and I am also feminine. So really, I am "dressing as what I identify as". In my case, dressing masculinely would be dressing as someone I'm not.

[Brandon]

Don't worry about it, echo.  People who say things like "well you're a man so you need to always dress THIS way, or act THIS way" are hurting not only trans people and those who don't conform to strict gender roles but themselves in the long run, because then when they don't live up to their own rigid gender rules in one way or another the society they've encoded with these gender rules shuns them.

Not really is all I am gonna say.

[Brandon]

You can wear a dress, heels and make-up and still be dressing as man - a feminine man.  I identify as a man - and I am also feminine. So really, I am "dressing as what I identify as". In my case, dressing masculinely would be dressing as someone I'm not.

Yes you can, I just have a certain oppinion on gender is all, I am not closed minded or narrowed minded just happen to disagree is all.

[Brandon]

Nothing wrong or weird about that at all. It's unfortunate for trans people, I feel like they are more in the spotlight when it comes to their masculine and feminine interests. It is really nobody business. You know who you are and that is what matters!! Personally, I'm normally completely in love with more femme guys. I just find them more attractive, so I find it to be a good trait.

Well to me it kinda is because I never see men dressing as woman mainly vice versa but thats about it, Th only thing I have seen were guys with some feminine traits but not actually dressing like th opposite sex. As I already stated he can do what he wants.

[littleredrobinhood]

Yes you can, I just have a certain oppinion on gender is all, I am not closed minded or narrowed minded just happen to disagree is all.

You might not intend to be narrow-minded.. but it does come off that way, y'know?

(Trigger warning below!)

It's kind of like someone who isn't trans telling someone who is trans that your gender is whatever sex you are, that you can't change that, and thus shouldn't try. For example, telling a trans man he isn't a man because he has a vagina, and should stop trying to act like one - insisting that he shave, wear make-up, etc. Because he's "a woman" and "that's what women are supposed to do".

[Frank]

Brandon, there is such thing as androgyny. Some people just like straddling that line. Same as you and I rather prefer not to straddle that line.

Just to get my .2 cents in, I once had a shrink comment (on paper) that I dressed hypermasculine and I think there was something about overcompensating in there. It mentioned the leather jacket and boots. Come on man. Really. I just like dressing that way. I also come from a family of older working men, it stands to reason that I would dress the way they do. Which is old fashioned manly man.

[littleredrobinhood]

Brandon, there is such thing as androgyny. Some people just like straddling that line. Same as you and I rather prefer not to straddle that line.

Just to get my .2 cents in, I once had a shrink comment (on paper) that I dressed hypermasculine and I think there was something about overcompensating in there. It mentioned the leather jacket and boots. Come on man. Really. I just like dressing that way. I also come from a family of older working men, it stands to reason that I would dress the way they do. Which is old fashioned manly man.

Wow, really? I didn't think that sort of thing happened for "extra" masculine trans men.  I always assumed therapists and the like believe that "the more masculine, the better".

[Brandon]

You might not intend to be narrow-minded.. but it does come off that way, y'know?

(Trigger warning below!)

It's kind of like someone who isn't trans telling someone who is trans that your gender is whatever sex you are, that you can't change that, and thus shouldn't try. For example, telling a trans man he isn't a man because he has a vagina, and should stop trying to act like one - insisting that he shave, wear make-up, etc. Because he's "a woman" and "that's what women are supposed to do".

Well I have only been told that by my mom. My friends always correct people if they call me a she, that actually happend today. Just because I was brought up a certain way doesn't mean I am narrow minded though. I was raised in a very conservative home so certain things I didn't see or learn about until I was older for instanc homosexuaility was something I was not exposed to.

Also like Frank said the men in my family are also masculine and dress like men. And of course I look at my father.

[littleredrobinhood]

Well I have only been told that by my mom. My friends always correct people if they call me a she, that actually happend today. Just because I was brought up a certain way doesn't mean I am narrow minded though. I was raised in a very conservative home so certain things I didn't see or learn about until I was older for instanc homosexuaility was something I was not exposed to.

Your Mom could say the same thing about her beliefs though - that it's just the way she was brought up. But do you really feel that makes what she said OK?

[Brandon]

Your Mom could say the same thing about her beliefs though - that it's just the way she was brought up. But do you really feel that makes what she said OK?

Well I am a Christian also, I can't do anything about her beliefs and am I gonna try no.

[aross1015]

Your Mom could say the same thing about her beliefs though - that it's just the way she was brought up. But do you really feel that makes what she said OK?

This is pretty on par with "well we were just following orders" like when does someone start to question what they are told/taught and wonder if it's really the right thing to do/way to interact with others. 

[Frank]

Hey before any moderators freak out, and if I may borrow your post Robin Hood...

Brandon, because of the way I was raised, I don't really like when girls wear short shorts/skirts and tiny tops but I generally don't ever say it in public. They can dress the way they want to, because they're not there for my sole viewing pleasure. Sometimes, a little tact goes a long way at keeping you out of trouble.