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You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em..

Started by ElDudette, September 17, 2014, 03:17:38 AM

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ElDudette

So at this point out of my family & core of friends only 4 people don't know.

Out of my family both my sisters know, and they both support me 100%.  I haven't told my mum and dad yet. Mainly i'm waiting until i get a few sessions with the therapist behind me. This is partly because i'd like to hear a professional confirm what i believe/know, and partly because it'll make it easier to tell my mum since i can say "No it's not some phase, I've seen a therapist and they agree with me."  I love my mum to pieces but she doesn't react well to change or anything that pushes against what she believes (she's a staunch my experience trumps reality sort of mind set).  My dad on the other hand tends be so inert about things that he could fit into the far right column on the Periodic Table of Elements.  Though i do still fret a bit about him since he was raised in a staunch conservative Catholic family, so still a 1% chance he might have a unpleasant reaction.  I'm predicting that my mum will feel hurt and as if she screwed up something since her only son isn't really a son (my older sister thinks she has moderate NPD, so me being a woman not a man could come across as a personal slight.)

Now the two friends i haven't told yet, are my best friend of 20+ years (I with full sincerity refer to him only as my brother when talking to people off line, he's just that close to me) and his girl friend. I really really want to tell them, BUT they do periodically talk to my mum... And i can't trust that they won't let something this major slip before i'm ready to tell my mum & dad.  Which leaves me feeling guilty as hell because i don't trust him or her. They've both let important info slip on accident in the past, so it's not an unfounded paranoia.. but it still makes me feel like i'm a liar when either asks if anything's going on.  I rant about stress at work and dodge around anything in the personal end of things.


Not sure what i intended with this post other than to keep it from getting bottled up.

Anyone else been in or is in a situation like this?
"Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, well, he eats you." --The Stranger, The Big Lebowski

"Does the caterpillars dream of one day taking to the sky on gossamer wings?
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CoolGuy

I have been in your situation. At first my family did not take it well. I left them alone for a while, so they could come to terms with what I had said to them. After some time passed they accepted better than I originally thought. Just say what you have always wanted to say and what you feel in your heart. I would suggest you tell your mum and dad first, then tell your friends. Even if they don't react like you would like them to, at least you will feel better that you have finally came out to them.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
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