When no gender fits: A quest to be seen as just a person

[Shana A]

When no gender fits: A quest to be seen as just a person

How do you navigate the world when it is built on identifying with one group or another and the place that feels right is neither?

By Monica Hesse September 20

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/when-no-gender-fits-a-quest-to-be-seen-as-just-a-person/2014/09/20/1ab21e6e-2c7b-11e4-994d-202962a9150c_story.html

Kelsey scans the wall of T-shirts in Five Below, one of the few stores to qualify as "quirky" in this conservative part of western Michigan. "Let's Have a Party," a shirt reads, near displays of body glitter and $5 leggings. "Warning: Prone to Shenanigans," reads another, and after less than a minute, it's clear the store doesn't have what Kelsey is looking for, because no place ever does, at least not around here.

"I think I might have to make you a gay shirt," Kelsey's friend Kahri offers as they walk out of the store. "Or not a gay shirt, but — you know."

"Yeah."

What Kelsey Beckham really wants is a shirt that communicates something very specific about its wearer. Not about gayness, or anything to do with sexual orientation, but about gender. A shirt that says the wearer is something many people aren't familiar with: Not a he. Not a she. Not a male transitioning to a female, or a female transitioning to a male. A shirt explaining that Kelsey, 18, doesn't identify with any gender at all.

[suzifrommd]

Wow. A really accurate portrayal of a non-binary gender person.

Though androgynous presentation is really, really hard. We're wired to gender people on the binary, so regardless of how meticulously people use the proper pronoun, they're always going to be fighting a battle with their own internal perception.