I think people need to be aware that binary privilege is actually a thing, it's the privilege of knowing where you fit within societies simplistic notions of gender, and this exists for both trans and cis individuals. Binary thinking reduces gender to an either or choice, but it doesn't reflect non binary experiences, our lives and paths - as different as they are individual - go against the status Q of gender. There are many cis folk who never even think about gender, and many trans folk who only think of gender within the accepted binary paradigm. Our world is saturated with black and white notions of gender and I think that can colour the thinking of binary identified individuals, often perceiving things that go against the enforced narrative of binary gender as being a threat to that construct. This can create defensive attitudes in binary individuals when it comes to NB experiences, it's people scared of something that they don't understand reacting in a negative way because they believe it invalidates their identity - which is utter BS, but that's how peoples minds work.
While I think that we as non binary individuals can help educate binary identified individuals, I don't necessarily think that we should - the reason there are different forums here is because different people have different experiences of being trans, I view them more as safe spaces rather than educational one. This forum is for us to figure out our paths, not for holding the hands of people who "want to understand". Talk of the high road is admirable, but I don't think we should tone police ourselves, if someone comes in here and starts waving privilege around and invalidating our experiences, then that is an act of violence - micro-aggressions I think they're called - constant little reminders by the world that we don't fit the enforced narrative. Getting angry is a perfectly reasonable response to this kind of thing, and while it can be destructive it also drives change.
As to what we can do about, well we need binary identified individuals to respect our lived experiences, that is fundamental to understanding things that are currently outside your knowledge. When people respect other people's experiences and listen without trying to tell them what they "need" to do, that's a healthy environment for learning and growing. Sadly this is not always the case, so what to do about times when people feel under attack? I think the best thing we can do is to try our best to judge intent, people can be well meaning but still wave their privilege stick around, or they can be acting in a deliberately antagonistic way, or anywhere in between. It's a tough thing to call, but we have to use judgement and abide by ToS, PMing individuals is better than public mud flinging, mods can be BCC'd if needs be, posts can be reported, mods do try and keep the peace as best they can (I should know, I used to be one), even if the mod team appears to be lacking in NB perspectives (this is not an attack, merely an observation, I know how hard the job is).
Anyway, that's my radical queer, anarcha-feminist perspective on things.
