Last Friday I went to my therapist, as I do twice a month.
I told her I was already quite recovered of my FFS (14 days post-op), but I was still too fearful of going full time. I was afraid of people clocking me at the streets and about my grandfather, who was still not talking openly about my transition.
I was still dressing with unisex clothes and people were calling me "lady" sometimes, but that was not happening as often as I wished. Being called "sir" while I was trying to present as a girl was making me feel bad...
Then she told me that I could not want people to call me "lady" all the time if I was wearing unisex clothes. Girls wear girl's clothes!
And I decided to take this major step right away.
On my way home I stepped at a store and asked the vendor for "feminine t-shirts". She showed me the ladies section and I asked if I could try some. She answered me "sure, ma'am. This way" =D
I bought some and went home wearing one. I was quite happy, but still, I was driving and so I was not really presenting as female in public as I was inside my car =P
When I got home I asked if my grandmother could help me to buy some clothes...and we went shopping! I told her to not forget to call me with the right pronouns (she is always calling me by my male name, but she is really trying hard to call me with the right pronouns).
I wore my new shirt and put on a padded bra to help giving me more breasts (mine are too small). It was the first time I was presenting as a female in a public place (a local shopping center full of people) and with my grandmother at my side!
It was wonderful. I bought some clothes, t-shirts, pants and I was being called "lady" all the time (although one vendor called me "sir"...I wanted to kill her with my eyes! =().
Then I decided to have my ears pierced and bought a pretty pair of earrings!
Everyone was treating me as the girl I am! I was radiant!
But I still had to face my grandfather....when I got home my grandfather didn't make any comment about my feminine clothes and about the fact I had breasts. I told him I had my ears pierced and he wanted to see my earrings and he liked them! I was quite impressed! That was unexpected! =O
So, since Friday I have been full time! And I don't want to go back to "male mode" ever again! It's been so wonderful I was even crying of joy! I am being accepted by my family, I am being myself all the time and wearing the clothes I always wanted!
Since that day I already left my house a few times and people were calling me "lady" all the time. I didn't notice too many strange looks, so perhaps I am really passing -) Bought some make-up, went to the bakery, drugstore, no incidents until now!
So I am really happy! I am approaching one year since I started my transition and taking hormones, but this step was the hardest I had to take until now!
=D
Well, it was not the final step, as I still need to change my documents and I want to have SRS soon...but it was the biggest step of all my transition!
And I want to thank each one of you for helping me all this time, when I came here to cry about my life! Thank you all, if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't be here right now!
