It's a lot of fun to be called a ->-bleeped-<-got

[MugwortPsychonaut]

Actually, no. It isn't. Last night at the skatepark, some BMX biker was trying to intimidate me and called me a ->-bleeped-<-got and a little girl. His buddies would also shout generally sexist things as I skated by. This is coming from a bunch of dudes whose biggest fear is being gay. And they address that by congregating in a large cluster of dudes. Masking homosexuality with homosociality. It's very telling when somebody is overtly homophobic AND misogynistic.

Oh yeah. And then my car died.

[jamesdoran]

That sucks. People are ->-bleeped-<-s sometimes...

Anyway...keep your head up and next time do a kick flip off his face!

[Felix]

I used to get called a ->-bleeped-<-got a lot more than I do now, and it usually seemed to be people who were either young and insecure, or any age and trying to impress other people in a group. It's an easy go-to for people who don't feel good about their own place in a real or perceived social heirarchy. People who do that are pathetic jerks, and they look more and more stupid as time goes by.

Sorry that happened, though. And your car. That sucks.

[Jill F]

Methinks someone clearly doth protest too much.

Reminds me of a guy I used to work with who would address everyone with homophobic epithets all the time, as if he was obsessed with being the anti-queer.  He would walk into the shop several times a week and announce his presence by yelling, "Hey, ->-bleeped-<-gots!" 

He had a drug-induced meltdown one day, was fired on the spot and escorted out.   A few days later his brother came in to collect his things, and announced that our former co-worker had been taken to rehab and that their father had searched his room for drug stashes, but instead found a trunk full of soiled dildos and gay porn. 

"Did you all know he's gay?"

[Miss_Bungle1991]

their father had searched his room for drug stashes, but instead found a trunk full of soiled dildos and gay porn. 

Wow.

[Abby Claire]

I never understood why someone's sexuality would bother someone else. It's not like you're being forced into bed with them, and really, they're making your life easier by decreasing the competition for hetero cis women. A lot of ugly f---s would never get laid if a lot of good looking gay men and transsexuals actually wanted to be with women. Seriously, how does homosexuality effect anyone else besides the person who is actually gay?

[Rachel]

Mug, sorry that happened. I know how that feels and no matter how often it happens it stinks.

My 1st therapist and I practiced what to think in my head when it happens and then I had to say it out loud 10 times to reinforce the thought. The thought was FXXX YXX. When I hear it now I think FXXX YXX and smile. It takes the power and meaning away from the words.

If there were 10 guys there I bet 2 thought you were pretty.

[Mark3]

If there were 10 guys there I bet 2 thought you were pretty.

That's probably so true.!
Usually when people act like that, it's to hide the similar feelings they have..

When you get out of school and in to the adult world, most of that childish namcalling will disapeare.. Youll likely have some great times ahead that will make everything worthwhile...

[Lostkitten]

Two is probably even a low number. From what I can recall from every group I ever came across with of a size of 8 or bigger, there were usually two people on the 'lead'. The rest would just follow.

[Larisa]

I understand. I had to suffer being called one during 6th grade on the bus and in high school, I was called it to. I didnt fit the macho guy thing so I was degraded to worthless in the eyes of others. This was before I realized I was transgender. I wasnt even gay and it hurt me so I know how difficult it can be. I actually did beat one of the guys bullying me back in 6th grade for taunting me with the word. Some people are just mean. I wont tell you the same old dont let it bother you thing as I know how it can bother someone but your not worthless and Im not worthless. Dont make them make you feel stupid or ugly or worthless as you are not. Hang in there.

[katiej]

Some douchebag calls me a ->-bleeped-<-got, my response is always the same... "Yeah, so's your boyfriend!"  And. It. Works.

They're never expecting that kind of a response, and their douchebag buddies always think it's funny.  So it puts them on the defensive.

[Bombadil]

Oh wow, sounds like you had a crappy day. Sorry about that.

[Taka]

my favorite canadian used to call all his friends "bitch", including me. a very endearing term, and it seemed rather unspecific in terms of gender. it got a lot harder to get the hostility of the term after i got to know that guy.

it's never fun when someone uses words to hurt. but i find it funny how some people think that they can gain power over any human by using the same set of words.

[Dread_Faery]

I feel for ya, I have a friend in NYC who gets the same ->-bleeped-<- when they visit skate parks, they hate it because the really love skating transition. I do my best to visit skateparks when their quiet, because even though I get read as cis most of the time, dealing with bulls--t misogyny is a pain in the behind.

I came into skating through longboarding which seems to be more accepting that core skate culture is, people actually pay attention when I ask them not to use certain words. I think skating is slowly getting better, but it still sucks when you run head on into those kinds of attitudes

[ImagineKate]

I haven't had that hurled at me in a long time. Last time was maybe in secondary school.

They didn't use the term "->-bleeped-<-" or "->-bleeped-<-got" they used the term "homo." Thing is I could never in my wildest dreams think of being gay. (Although technically I would be once I go through transition, unless my orientation also changes).

[Ltl89]

Sorry you had to deal with that.  It sucks that some people have no empathy for others and just want to hurt them instead.  I've been called that quite a few times in my life, but the worst time when someone wrote that on my windshield one time when my windshied was all foggy.   I've dealt with jerks a lot in my life, but that time just made me break down and cry.  I guess it's the randomness and anonymity of it.  I wish people weren't such jerks at times. 

[Amy The Bookworm]

Some douchebag calls me a ->-bleeped-<-got, my response is always the same... "Yeah, so's your boyfriend!"  And. It. Works.

They're never expecting that kind of a response, and their douchebag buddies always think it's funny.  So it puts them on the defensive.

I'm soooo going to remember this one! Thanks!

[MugwortPsychonaut]

Thank you, everybody. It's been a real pain in the ol' sword and the stones. Actually, I just wanted to use that phrase.

That's probably so true.!
Usually when people act like that, it's to hide the similar feelings they have..

When you get out of school and in to the adult world, most of that childish namcalling will disapeare.. Youll likely have some great times ahead that will make everything worthwhile...

That's funny. I thought this when I was in Junior High School. "OK, granted, these nitwits will have the world handed to them, but at least the torment will end."

I'm 32 years old now. Been on the plank for 24 of those. A couple years ago, before I transitioned, there was some goon at another skatepark who wanted to beat me up, because he thought I was gay. And I've never been gay! It was just like 7th grade!

Some douchebag calls me a ->-bleeped-<-got, my response is always the same... "Yeah, so's your boyfriend!"  And. It. Works.

Mmm, I don't know if I would use this. It implies that somebody could possibly love them. Backwoods, ear-gauge-wearing, lip-ring-wearing, New Jersey redneck, with Apple earbuds in his ears, probably listening to Lucero or some other similar abomination to music. The different between a BMX bicycle and a vacuum cleaner, is the position of the dirtbag.

And for the record, I'm not letting my fellow skaters off the hook, either. So many skaters have to be the cool guy. For a group that prides itself on individuality, we sure are a conformist bunch. Ride that Real deck to show you're a rugged individual who knows the "true" roots of street skating. Your front foot must point forward when not doing a trick, to show how "casual" you are. And the only tricks they're allowed to do, are no-complies, wallies, and pivot to fakies. And one must NEVER look like they care. EVER.

Okay, that went a little off-topic.

[Dread_Faery]

If you'd be up for writing something about your experiences I have a skate blog where I talk about that kind of stuff.

With you 100% on how conformist skate culture can be seeing as individuality is so prized

[Sammy]

Pardon my ignorance, but is not board almost perfectly fitted to slam it across someones lower back? Sometimes they wont shut up until a lesson has been taught...