Coming Out To Senior Citizens

[Dgil]

TLTR: your at work coming out story or the best advice to do so.

I've been working as a security manager in a retirement living community for close to 7 years and three weeks ago the director offered to move me in for a deeply discounted rate with the same pay rate for now, but I'll be closer to the residents since I already know a lot of them so well. I moved in 1.5 weeks ago. I planned on writing my boss a letter before he offered me the unit but for some reason I feel like now this changes things. In the lease I signed states if I quit or get fired I have 5 days to move out. I wouldn't care about getting fired but I definitely need a roof over my head and I already subleased my other apartment out just to move here. I'm the youngest manager here and most employees are 35 and up.

Anyway, the facility is 55 and up INDEPENDENT LIVING, meaning they care for themselves and are very active, but there are a lot of 65 and up folks here. We have a couple 100 year olds and a lot of 70-90 year olds & most of them know me pretty well. Being that they come from a totally different era changes their perspective on things because I'm dealing with only a certain demographic of people that grew up differently and are so stuck in their ways. There are about 370 residents here, pretty big apartment complex.

I've been on T about 2 months now and my voice is dropping and facial hair is starting to show so I want to let everyone know. A couple of friends however, said I should just let it all show for itself and address it when asked. What are your thoughts on this?

All in all, I'm curious to know if anybody has been through a similar situation and how you went about letting these people know about you. If you haven't been through anything similar but have a great coming out at work story about you or someone you know, please do tell.

[aleon515]

I wouldn't underestimate people, just because they are a different age than you are. I know people who have come out to family members in their 80s and 90s and been accepted better than by people much younger. Also I have younger friends who are accepted by grandparents and not at all by parents. A lot of older people have been thru a lot and are able to put things into perspective.

I am an older person who has come out, my friends and acquaintances had no more trouble with this than I hear about from other people.

OTOH, what would bother me personally is not their age, per se, but that there are so many of them. 370 people in a work place (even if, I understand these are the clients) is a huge number of people with a lot of different potential beliefs. The weights are the same as other types of situations, imo, getting misgendered, explaining your situation, etc. etc. But age, per se, imo, is not the main factor.

--Jay

[Bimmer Guy]

I wouldn't underestimate people, just because they are a different age than you are. I know people who have come out to family members in their 80s and 90s and been accepted better than by people much younger. Also I have younger friends who are accepted by grandparents and not at all by parents. A lot of older people have been thru a lot and are able to put things into perspective.

I am an older person who has come out, my friends and acquaintances had no more trouble with this than I hear about from other people.

OTOH, what would bother me personally is not their age, per se, but that there are so many of them. 370 people in a work place (even if, I understand these are the clients) is a huge number of people with a lot of different potential beliefs. The weights are the same as other types of situations, imo, getting misgendered, explaining your situation, etc. etc. But age, per se, imo, is not the main factor.

--Jay

Personally, I would tell the boss and staff first and then send a letter to all of the residents.  It will be more comfortable for them that way and less rumors.

[Kreuzfidel]

Do the residents know you as a female?

If so, I would do what Brett suggested.

[aleon515]

Do the residents know you as a female?

If so, I would do what Brett suggested.

I agree with Brett's suggestion btw.

--Jay