Dealing with…*trigger warning*

[VeronicaLynn]

...transphobic coworkers.

How does one deal with this?

I overheard a few guys at work making some transphobic jokes. They weren't directed at me, so I acted like I didn't hear them, but...these are guys I have to work closely with. Part of me says that I don't have to come into work tomorrow or ever again, and in a lot of ways I don't want to, at the same time, I want the money...

I wasn't all that surprised, since they are often making racist jokes, but I don't know how I can act like I'm their friend now...

[mrs izzy]

Make a report with the HR department.

[Mark3]

Yes, it may be best to let someone know about it. Saying nothing may just make those people more confident to say those things again, or more often.

Change has to start somewhere?
take care.

[Rachel]

I am in management and I am with line staff on each of three shifts for a period to make sure shift transition is smooth, everyone is fit for work and there is active work assigned. I have a very diverse group with Asian, Hispanic, African American and Caucasian and there are no majorities in my group. To add they range from agnostic to those who bring in little books to pass out at work. All of them are operating engineers and male ( I am TS male presenting).

I do not tolerate and address all intolerance at work. I do not think there is not a week that goes by that I have to step in and stop a group conversation or address stupid remarks. The crap has greatly reduced but on occasion still happens. 

Last week I had to address how "gays" are getting so much attention and preference (there was a suburban group of people who beat two gay guys in Philadelphia that week and there was a lot of press). I stepped in and said you can be fired for saying you are gay or trans in all but three counties in Pennsylvania and that in almost all states if you say you are gay or trans you can be fired on the spot. There was disbelief and after a little while they were saying that is wrong and should not be. They deserve equal rights.

I am trying to teach a group of diverse operating engineers about gay and trans equal rights and it is an uphill battle. At first I was not comfortable but now I do not care. I am not argumentative and I do not use my professional power. I just give them a perspective that is foreign to them while I am still stealth. I also point out the Hospital policies and how they are putting themselves at risk and that sexual harassment is something that once said never goes away and can be used against you by someone at a later date, that always opens and eye or two. 

Veronica, I am sorry this is happening to you. You need to do something and not just accept the bigotry. HR is there for consultation as well as reporting issues as well as your supervisor. Accepting the hatred will not be good for you in the long run and I recommend you reach out for help in ways to resolve the issue. As always document, document document and do not become the problem that needs fixing. Ask them for help in how to deal with the issue.

[VeronicaLynn]

I perhaps should have mentioned that I am not out at work or anywhere, and present there as a guy, albeit a guy with a rather feminine hairstyle and good fashion sense, and feminine mannerisms. I don't know that I am ready to out myself, and I don't know how to make a complaint on this to HR without outing myself. I do feel that I will end up being less comfortable being myself and worried about my mannerisms and androgynous appearance which is exactly the opposite direction I want to go with my life.

[VeronicaLynn]

It's funny how some things end up working themselves out, I went in today and something completely unrelated happened that made me sure that quitting this job is what I want to do. I don't even want this job anymore, I'm pretty certain I will be putting in my notice on Monday. I won't be putting this as my reason for leaving, I suppose I could be a true warrior and do so and possibly get them fired, but they are going to be totally screwed with me gone anyway, and actually have to do some work instead of goofing off all day and making offense jokes.