I'm imagining the article to be something like this:
Degenerate Transsexual Sells Guitars to Unsuspecting Guitar Players
An unsuspecting guitar player, who asked only to be known as John, feels betrayed and duped after learning that his new guitar was once owned by a woman who had been born a man. In an exclusive interview with the National Enquirer he said, "Look, I just thought I was buying a guitar from some chick on Ebay. I had no idea she used to be a dude. And now it's like the guitar just doesn't sound as good as it used to. There should be laws against this."
Although calls to his Senator were not returned, this will likely be a hotbutton issue in the 2014 mid-term elections next month. In a recent survey, 63% of Americans agreed there ought to be a remedy for consumers who are tricked into buying transgender merchandise. At the heart of the issue is that most people don't learn of the gender identity of the previous owner until it's too late. And what's more disturbing is the idea that they have bought used items in the past and never found out if the previous owner was comfortable in their gender role.
"I mean, what else don't I know. Did I accidentally buy a used car or something else from some gay guy? They really should have to tell you this stuff up front." John went on to say, "I've registered an official complaint with Ebay. But they don't seem to be taking this seriously. I can't even play this guitar in front of my buddies. They'll know. What am I supposed to do now?"
