Can someone help me write a coming out letter to my parents?

[perrystephens]

I've tried a ton of times to write a coming out letter to my parents. My friends already know but that part wasn't that hard considering how accepting most people in my generation are especially since the people I'm friends with are mostly LGBT+. But when it comes to older people like my parents i'm not sure about their reaction. I think they'll blow it off and act like it's a phase but I really want them to take me seriously, because I really need a binder. I've been thinking about binding with ace bandages (i know the risks but i've had some really bad dysphoria), but fortunately or unfortunately I haven't been able to find any in my house. My point is it's been really bad lately. I'm not good with words so if you are, would you help me write a coming out letter? I think there's a messaging option on this site but if not we could e-mail and i could share all the details of my situation and you could help me explain it in a way that my parents will take seriously. Thanks.

[Alice Rogers]

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but honestly I am not sure a letter is the right approach. Is one of your parents more likely to be understanding than the other? When I told my parents I told my mum first and she helped me choose the right moment AND the right way to tell my dad.  It meant I got the support I felt I needed from my mum as early as possible and her advice regarding tackling my dad about it was invaluable.

Alice
xx

[Devlyn]

Hi Perrystephens, welcome to the site! The good news is you only need to come out to someone once, then it's behnd you! I always go to the sites Wiki for information, why don't you look at this section for some guidance: https://www.susans.org/wiki/Category:Family_and_friends

See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[h3llsb3lls]

I came out to my mom when I was driving down a country road, so that if there was a problem or she didn't want to confront the situation she had no choice, but then again I'm a little twisted.

I personally wouldn't go for a letter, unless you don't live with them and are afraid they'd be violent toward you. If that's the case (or any case where violence is a possibility) I would put coming out on hold. I'm assuming your a minor, cause if you weren't you could apply for one of the binder charities without need to come out first.

Once again, I don't know you, or your situation.  What I can say though, is if you want your parents to take you seriously, having the courage and self esteem to say it to their faces will do wonders.

[Alaena_okc]

thats exactly what i did, except i took my fearless peer support leader to go with me when i told my mom, else i would of chickened out like all the times before - to my surprise my mom said she already knew - dads on the other hand im sure in most cases will not be as excepting... they both have passed since then but i am so glad i was able to tell them while they was here, i love you mom and dad... and to answer what to do, a letter is not the answer unless you deliver it personally and stand there while she reads it, i think you will learn like i did, the fear of telling her is a wasted amount of energy...

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but honestly I am not sure a letter is the right approach. Is one of your parents more likely to be understanding than the other? When I told my parents I told my mum first and she helped me choose the right moment AND the right way to tell my dad.  It meant I got the support I felt I needed from my mum as early as possible and her advice regarding tackling my dad about it was invaluable.

Alice
xx