How do you feel about a bathroom with a sign saying transgender on it and it...

[Carrie Liz]

Having been full-time at work, in a place where nobody knows I'm trans, for a couple of months now...

No. I would not want such a bathroom. As soon as I would be required to use a unisex bathroom instead of the women's room, people would immediately stop seeing me as a woman, and just start seeing me as an "other."

In a society where gender identity wasn't such a big freaking deal, where trans women were seen as being just as female as cis women, I would be more okay with it. (Granted, in such a world why would we need a third bathroom anyway?) But just being realistic here, it isn't happening any time soon. And I refuse to be seen and treated as an "other" by society. Especially since I've long since been accepted as being just another woman. I wouldn't give that up for anything.

If society really wants to help trans people, it doesn't need a third bathroom, it needs to quit making this bathroom thing such a big deal in the first place. Just let people use the bathroom congruent with what they identify with, accept them as a valid member of that identity gender whether they pass or not, and don't be so defensive about it.

Maybe non-binaries would appreciate a third non-gendered bathroom as an option, but most of us don't need it, we just need the freedom to use the gendered bathroom that we identify with, and a segregated "trans" bathroom would only set us back.

[Shana-chan]

OK, this is what I figured everyone would say, I'm still not ready yet to say how I feel about it because there is one thing that I see everyone didn't realize I meant regarding the therapist's bathrooms having the sign and transgender on it so let me ask you all again,

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people? Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

Also I've edited the above into the OP post.

[Pikachu]

Okay, now I'm just really confused. Are you saying there would be no bathrooms other than the "transgender" one? If that's the case, how could it possibly be a transgender bathroom, if it's for everyone? And... um... Shouldn't it just say "bathroom"?

[Shana-chan]

Okay, now I'm just really confused. Are you saying there would be no bathrooms other than the "transgender" one? If that's the case, how could it possibly be a transgender bathroom, if it's for everyone? And... um... Shouldn't it just say "bathroom"?

Think of the two questions I just posted below as both new questions that should be answered separately from the previous ones I asked before and also at the same time as how a situation might come up in real life. So in this case, think of the old questions as how they were while the new questions giving a different scenario. As for your question there, would love to answer that however, I don't want to sway anyone to one side or the other for how they answer the questions but like the old questions, I'll also answer the new ones too once I feel enough people have had a chance to get their word/answers in.

[Mariah]

I would still rather they didn't. If they are trying to show support just have a bathroom with no sign regarding gender of any sort attached. This would show more support for us and be less stigmatizing too. A bathroom for everyone that doesn't exclude anyone really is where we need things to go.

OK, this is what I figured everyone would say, I'm still not ready yet to say how I feel about it because there is one thing that I see everyone didn't realize I meant regarding the therapist's bathrooms having the sign and transgender on it so let me ask you all again,

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people? Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

Also I've edited the above into the OP post.

[NathanielM]

Would that mean cispeople can't go to the bathroom anymore? Seems a bit weird. To be honest that just the same concept then as making all the bathrooms unisex, I don't see why they'd have to put the word transgender on there. I think it's a pointless excercise to go and put transgender on it. Maybe you mean more like 'also accesible for transgenders'? But then we'd be back to kind of insulting. I agree with the main idea that a unisex toilet may be nice but a 'transgender bathroom' is just further segregation and unneeded.
In my supportgroup we do have only one bathroom, on the door it has a sort of mix between the male/female signs and something else, but it's really just unisex, it has 2 stalls and 2 urinals and we just all go there no problems.

[Carrie Liz]

I think I prefer how my local LGBT center does it. Rather than having "men" and "women," their bathroom signs say "male-identifying" and "female-identifying." That is really what shows support.

[Pikachu]

I think I prefer how my local LGBT center does it. Rather than having "men" and "women," their bathroom signs say "male-identifying" and "female-identifying." That is really what shows support.

Really? That's kind of cool.

[EchelonHunt]

I wouldn't use a bathroom that has "transgender" on it but if it said Unisex, I would use that because I get severe anxiety going into either women or men's bathrooms.

[Jill F]

I think I would actually actively protest a third bathroom labeled "Transgender", get over my hatred of being on TV and state my case for the world to hear.

[V M]

I think I would feel about the same as having to wear a sign around my neck or an armband

[♥︎ SarahD ♥︎]

OK, this is what I figured everyone would say, I'm still not ready yet to say how I feel about it because there is one thing that I see everyone didn't realize I meant regarding the therapist's bathrooms having the sign and transgender on it so let me ask you all again,

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people? Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

Also I've edited the above into the OP post.

Ooh, I could be off the mark here, but I think I see what you're getting at here: are you basically asking "what if the roles were reversed?"?  (As in - what if trans* folk had public toilets but cis* folks didn't?).

If that's what you're asking then it'd certainly be a nice bit of "now you know how it feels" (and would probably help cis* folk see things from our side more and in turn reduce trans* phobia, at least in relation to bathrooms), but at the same time I've never been one for revenge, so that still doesn't sit very well with me to be honest with you hun.

On a "let's imagine that it's always been this way around" basis - I'd be one of the trans* folks campaigning for equal rights for cis* folks because I believe in equality for *everyone* lol ♥︎

[Taka]

if there was one separate transgender bathroom everywhere i went, put up in support of the trans, i'd start talking about how apartheid protected the otherly colored from violent pale pink skinned bigots.

if tje separate transgender bathroom was only at the therapist's, i'd decide to never use them. i'd cancel any appointment i had that day and refuse to pay for their wasted time because ill placed support is nithing other than well hidden discrimination.

if all bathrooms were trangender, i'd laugh so much. at the therapists, i'd find it amusing how the therapist and all the staff were trans identified. in public places, it would just be hilarious how they support one marginalized group by forcing the majority into their shoes. soon the word "transgender" would change meaning in the colloquial language to 'toilet' though, and that woyld be no fun thing to identify as.

i've worked in one place that only has toilets. staff have their own, visitors get to use the other toilets. and thosr who know their way around often end up in the staff toilets even if they aren't staff.
was a pleasant toilet experience.

[suzifrommd]

Having separate bathrooms labeled for transgender people.

Sounds very "Jim Crow" to me.

[Tysilio]

soon the word "transgender" would change meaning in the colloquial language to 'toilet' though...

Taka, you owe me a new keyboard....

And ain't that just how language works!

[Pikachu]

Hehe~ Made me laugh, too. Luckily, I wasn't drinking anything at the time. I can so see that happening.

[♥︎ SarahD ♥︎]

..soon the word "transgender" would change meaning in the colloquial language to 'toilet' though, and that woyld be no fun thing to identify as...

"Excuse me while I just nip to the trans" lmao yeh, that could turn bad very quickly.

"Oh, so you identify as something people pee into?"    ♥︎

[Alaena_okc]

here at the gay resort where i live at - all the bathrooms are labeled "womens" - gentetic and TS/TG women use it with no incident so far, but the genetic women there are already mind set that all women can use the bathroom - myself if i saw a bathroom labeled Transgendered, i wouldnt use it... with a thought "quit labeling me"...

[Smudge]

I think the wording in the question is a little confusing and strange, but I'll try to answer it to the best of my abilities. As to having all public places having a third bathroom labeled as "Transgendered bathroom" no, it's a very bad idea for two reasons. For one, it acts as a label that transphobic people can use as a way to further discriminate against us. (Usually the thought goes something like "why are my tax dollars paying for something I don't believe in" mentality, which is one of the less bigoted things I've heard spouted from people's mouths. The other thing is that can start leading to a stronger need for transphobic people to segregate us. Having the thought of, "they have their own bathroom so they can't use mine." Which will not help us in the long run.

However, if you are only referring to having a third, gender neutral bathroom in general without the binary label attached, I am perfectly fine with such things because it now becomes an all inclusive room where people of any gender can go and not feel threatened.

I bring up an actual time this happened with me. I once went to a convention up in Connecticut (Conneticon) and while the bathrooms in the rented convention hall were all gender binary, the staff had the idea to set up some of the bathrooms all across the convention center as gender neutral bathrooms. Taped over the usual, Men and Women signs were notes stating something to the degree of "This is a gender neutral bathroom. People do not exist solely in binary gender. Gender identity differs in all people and we hope to create a safe place free of fear and discrimination." (I honestly cannot remember the exact wording, but it was tantamount to this) This made me feel much better and enjoy the convention much more not only because it showed that the staff were openminded, but also that it was there to educate (to a small degree) people who did not understand that gender identity and physical gender are two different things.

[ImagineKate]

They are a stupid idea like civil unions being an acceptable alternative to marriage.