how to tell your work that your trans?

[Ryan55]

ok so I got this new accounting job. I applied using my legal name cause I didn't change it yet and thats on all my information. I got the job, but they don't know I'm trans. I went in looking like a dude and dressed like one, so I'm assuming they must think I'm just a real butch lesbian. If they hired me thinking that and knowing I'm pretty manly looking, maybe they will be open minded to me being trans. The job is in Massachusetts which I think is a pretty liberal state so that might help me out some. How did you guys tell your work that your transitioning and how did it go? Its a small CPA firm, so there isn't a lot of employees.

[katiej]

First of all, congrats!  I'm also an accountant, and although conservative, it seems to be a pretty accepting profession.  A big part of it is that women are well-represented in the accounting field.

To answer your question, it depends on how out you want to be.  Either way it's a good idea to disclose your status to HR.  That way the company is already aware of it if anyone tries to make it a big deal. 

[LatrellHK]

I have that question as well because I just got a little part-time cashier job and I dress male and do go as a butch lesbian to avoid confusion in public, such as work. I think the main manager guy thinks I'm a guy but hopefully my name told him otherwise because I do have a feminine name. I know one of the managers thought I was a guy.

I already got hired anyway and he never asked. Hopefully he knows!

[immortal gypsy]

Me "Boss I'm taking female hormones"
Boss "Ok do you need any time off or anything?"
Me "No I'm letting you know now as you want me here permanently"
Boss "Ok.....new conversation"

It helped in my case that I had worked with him for a couple of years, and was his 2IC for the last year and a half in a small business. Pending how open you want to be maybe talk to the HR department. But probably definitely a while in advance before you wish to change your name as that may be a culture shock for some people.

[SWNID]

That was pre T one day my supervisor was talking about me and used "she", I was there and told him I prefer male pronouns. He said ok and asked me if I wanted him to tell other people.

[Mariah]

Because my job isn't in an office directly and is out where the clients live and requires that I take them to do things like shopping and to appointments and such, I had to let the case manager know shortly after I went full time. I knew she would see me out and about with the client and wonder who was with the client. When I made the call, I made it clear that I was trans and even informed her of about when the name change would occur. She didn't have a problem with anything. She was concerned that I notified her as soon as possible for payroll purposes above anything else. I"m glad I did let her know because it just so happens she did see me a few days later with the client. She didn't recognize me, but knew it was me  because of my informing her about what was going on.
Mariah

[2fish]

It all started with a coworker making a very rude comment about my body. My bosses have a 0 tolerance policy for bullying/harassment etc. I started at my current job presenting as female and began to transition slowly to male. A few months ago my coworker screamed out when I walked into the room if I had b--bs. I wear a binder so yeah...My boss immediately threw everyone out of the room except for the coworker and told her it was very inappropriate thing to do and made her apologize like 6 times...no lie. I then made it a point to come out to both of them and they were very accepting. I took a chance and it went well. I was not expecting to come out just yet. I made it a point to tell both of them that there are certain things you shouldn't say to people because it can trigger them in a bad way. I basically made a learning experience out of it for them.

I took a chance and things well for me.

[Polo]

I went through this when I started a part time job in July. I live in a big city in Texas, and it went fine. I only made it 2 days working there being called "she" before I pulled the manager aside and told her that I go by he/him pronouns and am transitioning.  She made it a point to tell everyone when I wasn't around, and that the company had a zero tolerance policy for discrimination or harassment, not that it would have been an issue.  There have been a few pronoun slip ups, but I was introduced that way plus I'm not on T yet so I'm not surprised.

Good luck!

[Summer]

I spoke to my managers and hr firstly so the people T the top knew our workplace has big discrimination rules so when everyone found out no one have me any grief . I actually for lots of support. And I work with 90% males as well

[adrian]

So far, I'm only out to my immediate boss and two colleagues, one of whom is a transwoman. When I start transitioning, I will talk to HR and our equal opportunities / anti-discrimination person. Unfortunately, I don't think there's a "routine" for this sort of thing, despite ny colleague. I think she joined post transition.

[bambam]

I just came out and told them during the hiring process. It shocked me that the manger was so opened minded, she high fived me and everything for being so honest about it. She then asked me what name I would prefer to be called (also, that way so she could get my name tag made up with that name). Everybody is really accepting at my new job so far, some people have even asked me which pronouns I prefer because they don't want to disrespect me. Being up front about it has worked really well for me so far, hopefully your job will be accepting. Congrats on the job btw

[HumanBeing]

Hey Ryan!
Congrats on the job man! 

Me personally I transferred from one store to another, (retail - same company). On my first day I just handed a letter that states I am transgender and was already living socially as male and would appreciate it if this was the same at work. No fuss - straight away got a name badge, uniform same time etc.

If you (or anyone reading this) wants a copy of the letter just let me know and I'll PM you - it's nothing special though  . I think it was half a side of A4 so nothing too big. Oh and beforehand literally just rung up HR and said I need a name change and he was like 'oh and that's a title too change right?' And I was like "yes please" and there we have it.

Everyone refers to me with the correct name, and pronouns I don't get treated any differently by those who know I'm trans.

If you went in dressed like a guy that's probably better because the only thing they'd really have to do is refer to you by your actual name and use correct pronouns etc.

Personally I find the - this is the deal, it's nothing major-I'm here to do my job at the best of my ability - approach works best. Rather than going in flapping your hands and shaking up the place like it is the biggest deal ever and making a big fuss but I know you won't do that anyway XD

Best of luck with coming out and the job! 

[Ryan55]

Thanks for the advice everyone I really appreciate it. Also Calvin I would like to see the letter you gave to your work.

[LatrellHK]

Well I told my new manager I was trans and that I would appreciate male pronouns as well as being refered to as Chris. When I told him he simply asked what name would I like on my nametag then and if Chris was not my legal name. After answering both he just shrugged and said, I don't mind it at all.

[Bombadil]

For me, I had worked my job for almost 14 years as female, and I work with a lot of people including coworkers, volunteers, visitors, etc. So I went to my manager and my HR told them I was transitioning and gave them a timeline. There were a lot of people to inform so they could start using male pronouns and my male name. My work than shared an email I had written and some other resources with everyone.

Massachusetts is pretty liberal and you are just starting there so I think it will go pretty smoothly for you.

[LatrellHK]

For me, I had worked my job for almost 14 years as female, and I work with a lot of people including coworkers, volunteers, visitors, etc. So I went to my manager and my HR told them I was transitioning and gave them a timeline. There were a lot of people to inform so they could start using male pronouns and my male name. My work than shared an email I had written and some other resources with everyone.

Massachusetts is pretty liberal and you are just starting there so I think it will go pretty smoothly for you.

That's pretty cool of them! And I actually officially start on Tuesday I just got my work clothes, paperwork, payroll info, and other stuff done earlier today and decided to tell them while I can.

[Adam (birkin)]

I've come out at a few workplaces, the first time I ever did it I just told my boss "I'm having a sex change, this is my new name." Lol. Not the most tactful description but he was old and French and wouldn't have understood me if I described it in a more complicated way. He just asked if it would affect my job, if I needed time off etc, I said "no, I just wanted you to be aware, I'll get you the paperwork when I have it." He said no problem, that he was a proud Canadian and that the meaning of living in Canada was freedom to do whatever you please and not be discriminated against. Then he said if anyone gave me problems to let him know and he would deal with them.

The second time I came out to work, I had changed my name already but wasn't on hormones so looked female, and someone referred to me as a she. I basically just said "I'm not a woman, I'm going through a transition so please refer to me as male." They were cool about it too and corrected people who misgendered me that didn't know.

The third time, name changed and I was stealth but the old name showed up on a background check. I basically just said to my boss "you're going to see on my paperwork that I used a female alias a few years back. Just to clear up any confusion, I no longer use that name." She literally just said "OK" and it changed absolutely nothing.

Short and sweet is the best. The smaller a deal that you make of it, the less other people will care. Just be as nonchalant as you can about it, all you can do is relay the information, after that the responsibility is on them to respond appropriately and treat you with the respect you deserve.

[And_go]

I've worked in the same place for over 7 years and don't have any plans to change jobs. Maybe unusually, my manager was one of the first people I came out to.

She'd been really supportive when I came out as gay to my parents (like others here, I'm probably seen as a butch lesbian to most people just now). She's also been great with finding ways to help me cope while I was getting started on antidepressants an just seems accepting in general. The poor woman's been through all this with me in just under three months.

I just told her that there was something I wanted to tell her. She asked if we should do it in private an I said yes but I wanted to tell her on instant messaging first. I did then we went to talk about it and I know she'll be a fantastic support.

I'm so glad I did it and have felt a lot happier at my work since I told her. She's speaking to HR so we're ready when I want to come out an gas said she'll help me tell people. I know I've been lucky though. I'm in a country with some legal protections and work for a large company who are relatively accepting.