Escaped (TW: mentions of emotional abuse & manipulation, mentions of self harm)

[D.N.]

Browsing around the forums after joining and what do I find but a venting section? Perfect!

What actually brought me to this forum was the decision to leave my last online community in a very abrupt way. I just left a note and split. Remade my Skype and everything. I've been trying to pull myself out of old and self-destructive ruts lately, and the people and things I was surrounded with up until this morning were just... counter-productive.

And I keep telling myself that leaving was the right thing to do, but I still feel sick and guilty for doing it the way I did, even though I know it was the only choice. Because if I'd dragged it out, or even discussed it with anyone, I know I would've been guilted into staying. Like, full-blown "i don't know what i'll do if you leave" self-harm-threats guilted. At best.

I never thought of those people as emotionally abusive before, but sitting here, I feel exactly the way I felt about every other abusive friendship I've been in. So I don't know. I don't know, I just feel sick and frustrated.

I'm glad I found this forum as quickly as I did. I don't feel completely isolated the way I did just after leaving, which is a good sign. I just hope nobody from that old community tries to call me. My stomach is churning with paranoia. Hoping it fades soon

[EchelonHunt]

I am relieved you managed to escape that community. I had to leave a website I had participated in over 10 years, I had to leave since the community had become essentially hostile and one of the users, despite blocking them, they would create entries bashing me in public, sending swarms of people to attack me on my own profile. The administration did nothing to help. It became intense to the point even when it calmed down, I would be overcome with panic attacks and anxiety just thinking about clicking on the site link. I feared I would receive hate mail/messages and as a result, I could not cope anymore.

I didn't leave a note or anything, I simply left. I went to another community, felt isolated there due to people treating me like I am a freak and eventually came here, where I feel I finally belong.

Give yourself time as time will heal all wounds. If anybody from the old community calls you, will you be able to tell from the caller ID? If so, you can simply hang up or if you can, get the number blocked.

I hope things work out for you. We are here for you and will support you as one of our own.

[D.N.]

I am relieved you managed to escape that community. I had to leave a website I had participated in over 10 years, I had to leave since the community had become essentially hostile and one of the users, despite blocking them, they would create entries bashing me in public, sending swarms of people to attack me on my own profile. The administration did nothing to help. It became intense to the point even when it calmed down, I would be overcome with panic attacks and anxiety just thinking about clicking on the site link. I feared I would receive hate mail/messages and as a result, I could not cope anymore.

I didn't leave a note or anything, I simply left. I went to another community, felt isolated there due to people treating me like I am a freak and eventually came here, where I feel I finally belong.

Give yourself time as time will heal all wounds. If anybody from the old community calls you, will you be able to tell from the caller ID? If so, you can simply hang up or if you can, get the number blocked.

I hope things work out for you. We are here for you and will support you as one of our own.

Ugh, I feel you :/ This isn't the first time I've left a community, probably won't be the last. It always kind of sucks, but once the initial separation anxiety wears off (or the "someone's going to track me down" paranoia, if it was particularly unpleasant), it usually turns out for the best.

I removed them from my contacts, so they'll just pop up as unfamiliar numbers, and I don't pick up if I don't know who's calling. Phones are enough hassle without unexpected calls.

Thanks, gosh

[Taka]

you make those forums sound so terrible...

i've only ever stayed in places where i got friends.
and often left those places when said friends were found on fb and the other site became unimportant.

i'll tell you what i tell all my friends. ditch the ones that only make you feel uncomfortable.
caring has limits. if people can't appreciate your love, they have no place in your life.
unconditional love is something you reserve for your kids.

i have learned from one abusive relationship, that people who threaten with self-harming or suicide are ridiculously mentally abusive (though they may not realize).
leave them at the first threat. you will never be responsible for another person's actions. not in this way.

other than that... i'm always available through pm if you want to vent about unfriends.
i never mind my friends doing that.