Quote from: Emily29 on October 13, 2014, 11:08:02 PM
She's threatening to tell my mother, because it's too big of a secret for her to keep. What can I do? She doesn't accept me at all, everytime we have an issue she screams slur words to me like the F word, and the T word. She said stuff about me being possibly abused, etc... She also says things about how trans women are clocky they don't pass, all of them are hookers, etc... (and you know I used to think those stuff too when I was 10-14 but then I realized that there is people like Laverne Cox and my sister watches orange is the new black but she is still transphobic). I tried writing her stuff but she still doesn't get it, I'm not good at talking to people face-to-face.
My mom is even more transphobic than her. I'm not thinking that this is all my fault I should have not expressed myself at all. My father? I don't know... I think he might be transphobic too, but maybe less than them.
What can I do? Should I tell her that I was just confused? What can I else say for her to accept me as me?
Well, I'm not entirely sure what I would do in your shoes, but rest assured -- there's someone out there who can relate to you (me)! I've been on hormones just over a month and have been super relieved about the changes, but at the same time I was feeling super emotional the other night, so I just decided to come out to my sister. She was very accepting, and I love her to death, but she was juvenile enough to share news about my gender dysphoria with her boyfriend and with my grandma. My grandma then proceeded to tell my mom. My mom then proceeded to tell like my entire hometown -- yet ALL of the aforementioned people swore that they'd tell no one. Of course, this thread isn't about me, but you. I just want to let you know that in spite of my ENTIRE immediate family and extended family learning of this in the same day, out of nowhere, I have survived! And if worse comes to worst, just remember that there are others in your situation!! I strongly recommend finding a viable support system; if it weren't for MY support system (my roommate, the LGBT center at my college, my therapist), I'd be hopeless by now. That said, are you a college student, perchance? I'm finding that the university setting is undeniably the most accepting place I can name. For example, a trans male lives on my floor in my dorm, and everyone respects him deeply. Those in my friends circle here who have learned of my dysphoria have also been incredibly supportive; it's amazing.
Also, I guess I do have a little bit of advice: Whenever my own mom learned of my "condition", I had her research it. Seriously, gender dysphoria is a documented medical condition, as you probably already know (it's even in my neuroscience textbook lol). I'm not sure how much your own mom would listen, but first thing I would do is ask her to read up on it. By all means, message me if you need someone to talk to.
