Nervous to start T

[prestonnn15]

In 12 days I'm going to see the endocrinologist, but ever since I booked my appointment I've been scared. I understand that this is a huge step, and extremely life changing, so I cannot help but feel a bit nervous. How many others experienced this as well!?

Also, what change was most scary for you? I've asked two of my friends, that are already on T, and both said the anger- is this uncontrollable, or can be it controlled? One of the two also said that the sex drive threw him off as well.

[SWNID]

I had the fear that I would become an angry, aggressive person, but I turned out to be much calmer than ever.
It's totally nervous to be worried/ nervous, and that's the reason a doctor is there to guide you.

[Mosaic dude]

I was worried about aggression,  and it's true that I have a shorter fuse since going on T, but it's controllable.  Actually what freaked me out most was fronting up to the doctor and talking about the whole trans thing.  I hate talking about personal stuff, and this is pretty darn personal.  But I made myself do it, and it was fine.  Best thing I've ever done.

As far as undesirable side effects go, be prepared for acne.  Lots of acne.

[LordKAT]

For me, the anger was relieved by T. I think it varies what your effects are by individuals more than anything.

[Kreuzfidel]

For me, the anger was relieved by T. I think it varies what your effects are by individuals more than anything.

Same here. 

[prestonnn15]

I had the fear that I would become an angry, aggressive person, but I turned out to be much calmer than ever.
It's totally nervous to be worried/ nervous, and that's the reason a doctor is there to guide you.

This is also my fear! However, a lot of my anger derives from self-hatred so I'm curious to see if T will level me out?

I was worried about aggression,  and it's true that I have a shorter fuse since going on T, but it's controllable.  Actually what freaked me out most was fronting up to the doctor and talking about the whole trans thing.  I hate talking about personal stuff, and this is pretty darn personal.  But I made myself do it, and it was fine.  Best thing I've ever done.

As far as undesirable side effects go, be prepared for acne.  Lots of acne.

Hmm.. I'm not too concerned because my endo is female and I think she may be within the community, so I feel at ease. The office is smaller and located at a home turned into a business.

For me, the anger was relieved by T. I think it varies what your effects are by individuals more than anything.

Same here. 

Were either of you in a relationship pre-t that went into your transition? My girlfriend has been an incredible support for me and I'm honestly scared that starting T could jeopardize everything? She's already told me that she'll be patient with the anger outbursts, she knows about the increase in sex drive, and ultimately she's excited for me to love myself more. Is this another common misconception? Another thing to blame on T? I've asked a few guys and one said he "only wanted sex" after starting T, another said there were little things but it was just how relationships go; not T...

[LordKAT]

I choose to be alone, then and now.

[JayDawg]

6 weeks on T and I'm calmer. My co-workers commented on that a couple days ago. I was the calm center of the group during a small crisis.

My 3rd zit is starting to fade now; I seem to be getting one a week after shot #3 (I do weekly). Just on my face so far, none anywhere else. I barely had zits during my first puberty, so I wasn't expecting much this time around.

I've also gained 10lbs, some of which is muscle - gained half an inch on biceps and neck, and I can tell my workouts are working.

Libido... OMG, make it stop...

[prestonnn15]

I choose to be alone, then and now.

Fair enough! Thank you.

6 weeks on T and I'm calmer. My co-workers commented on that a couple days ago. I was the calm center of the group during a small crisis.

My 3rd zit is starting to fade now; I seem to be getting one a week after shot #3 (I do weekly). Just on my face so far, none anywhere else. I barely had zits during my first puberty, so I wasn't expecting much this time around.

I've also gained 10lbs, some of which is muscle - gained half an inch on biceps and neck, and I can tell my workouts are working.

Libido... OMG, make it stop...

That's awesome! I can definitely see that gaining muscle on your neck is going to make you look pretty awesome, man. I don't want to jinx you or anything, but I have a feeling your jawline is going to get pretty tight in the upcoming months.

I have been battling agoraphobia since February of 2013... Nearly two weeks ago I started going out again as if nothing had happened? During the time I was unable to go out it was a form of self reflection, so I could see the transition a bit more smooth mentally. It took me so long to figure out how to handle anxiety, but in actuality it's quite easy to deal with. I feel silly, haha.

[jamesdoran]

I am in a relationship that I was in before starting T and it's going great. I feel that it depends on different factors...how prepared your S/O is for changes, how well you two communicate, etc.

As far as  the anger thing...I feel I process emotions differently now but in no way do I have uncontrollable anger or anything even close. In fact I feel less angry.

Worst part of changes so far is acne and increased appetite.

[prestonnn15]

I am in a relationship that I was in before starting T and it's going great. I feel that it depends on different factors...how prepared your S/O is for changes, how well you two communicate, etc.

As far as  the anger thing...I feel I process emotions differently now but in no way do I have uncontrollable anger or anything even close. In fact I feel less angry.

Worst part of changes so far is acne and increased appetite.

Aaah, thank you so much! I feel like I'll be the same with anger. 9 times out of 10 I feel angry because of gender identity disorder. We're definitely able to communicate really well and have made it through several things others may have stopped at. Were you always out as ftm to her or was the transition the first change?

As for processing emotions: have you noticed an inability to express yourself?
     ex. Writing a long message to her, venting about how you feel, or simply a good morning text?

I'm a little concerned about the acne... but the appetite is what I'm afraid of. I'm going to be working out more often so I think that I'll basically be like no face from Spirited Away.... Lol.

[jamesdoran]

Aaah, thank you so much! I feel like I'll be the same with anger. 9 times out of 10 I feel angry because of gender identity disorder. We're definitely able to communicate really well and have made it through several things others may have stopped at. Were you always out as ftm to her or was the transition the first change?

As for processing emotions: have you noticed an inability to express yourself?
     ex. Writing a long message to her, venting about how you feel, or simply a good morning text?

I'm a little concerned about the acne... but the appetite is what I'm afraid of. I'm going to be working out more often so I think that I'll basically be like no face from Spirited Away.... Lol.

I came out to her as ftm about two  weeks after we started dating  but didn't start my transition until several months later so she had a little time to research and adjust before everything started happening.

As far as my emotions, I'm still a sap (total romantic) and I can still express myself fine. I find that where I have trouble is when I'm trying to understand some of the more complex emotions she feels. If that makes sense. Like sometimes I don't understand why something upsets her because I feel that my emotions are wayyy more stereotypical "man" now and I don't get very emotional. So I just have to try hard to empathize and sometimes she has to explain things a little more than before.

Edit: the acne sucks for me because I had it pretty bad the first puberty...lol
As far as appetite, it's really easy for me to gain weight if I'm not careful

[prestonnn15]

I came out to her as ftm about two  weeks after we started dating  but didn't start my transition until several months later so she had a little time to research and adjust before everything started happening.

As far as my emotions, I'm still a sap (total romantic) and I can still express myself fine. I find that where I have trouble is when I'm trying to understand some of the more complex emotions she feels. If that makes sense. Like sometimes I don't understand why something upsets her because I feel that my emotions are wayyy more stereotypical "man" now and I don't get very emotional. So I just have to try hard to empathize and sometimes she has to explain things a little more than before.

Edit: the acne sucks for me because I had it pretty bad the first puberty...lol
As far as appetite, it's really easy for me to gain weight if I'm not careful

We sound pretty similar! Thanks for this. I nearly had a panic attack from 6am-8am stressing about how it would affect me. I even considered not going on T because I just don't want to risk losing her. After talking it out with my mom and her I feel better, but still have a bit of fear with the inevitable mental changes I'll experience.

Are you on any form of acne meds? My mom is already talking to me about going to the dermatologist once I start... Hahaha.

[LittleBoyBear]

I don't have any answers to give since I only just started exploring getting on T myself.  I'd like to jump on the thread to see what others have to say, though.
I want a lot of the changes that T causes, but I am also nervous about anger, since I already have a bad temper. Acne is a concern as well, since it was an issue for me during puberty. Hell, I'm 34 and I still have issues with it!
-Bear

[prestonnn15]

I don't have any answers to give since I only just started exploring getting on T myself.  I'd like to jump on the thread to see what others have to say, though.
I want a lot of the changes that T causes, but I am also nervous about anger, since I already have a bad temper. Acne is a concern as well, since it was an issue for me during puberty. Hell, I'm 34 and I still have issues with it!
-Bear

Hey man! Congratulations on starting yesterday. Have you noticed anything yet? I've read that most feel some weird changes (below belt) overnight or the day after? That seems incredibly fast to me, but I suppose that's okay!? Was your injection site thigh or bum?

I'm naturally hot headed as well so I'm a bit nervous... and for blemishes I get a few cystic acne spots while stressing.....

[LittleBoyBear]

Crap, I thought "GT" stood for "Gender Therapist"...? Cause thats what I did, not anything cool like actually starting T, which I am really scared about...
(Sorry)

[prestonnn15]

Crap, I thought "GT" stood for "Gender Therapist"...? Cause thats what I did, not anything cool like actually starting T, which I am really scared about...
(Sorry)

Oh, whoops. I didn't bother reading the rest because I just assumed it was your first day on T. It's a breeze, though, so don't worry!
I didn't know that I was trans until I had been seeing my therapist for awhile? I remember being afraid to tell her.... Funny thing is, she knew before I had a name for it...and she also does T letters so it all kind of worked out.

[jamesdoran]

We sound pretty similar! Thanks for this. I nearly had a panic attack from 6am-8am stressing about how it would affect me. I even considered not going on T because I just don't want to risk losing her. After talking it out with my mom and her I feel better, but still have a bit of fear with the inevitable mental changes I'll experience.

Are you on any form of acne meds? My mom is already talking to me about going to the dermatologist once I start... Hahaha.

Right now I just use OTC stuff but I have an appointment with the dermatologist. You can always PM me if you want to talk more, I wouldn't mind a bit to share my experiences with ya.

[LittleBoyBear]

I didn't know that I was trans until I had been seeing my therapist for awhile? I remember being afraid to tell her.... Funny thing is, she knew before I had a name for it...and she also does T letters so it all kind of worked out.

I used to go to a regular therapist. We had talked a bit about me being very masculine and I rejected the idea of calling myself trans because I don't like labels. This was over a year ago and I don't know if that was denial, or what. I have always said that in my mind, I'm a guy, so I guess thats the definition of trans, right?
Anyway, back in June or July, I told her I was thinking of starting T and she had serious reservations about it. I remember her big concern being the high suicide rate of trans people. She told me to try growing my body hair to see how it felt, and to look into breast reduction instead. I haven't been back to see her since. I was really stung by her reaction. 
-Bear

[prestonnn15]

Right now I just use OTC stuff but I have an appointment with the dermatologist. You can always PM me if you want to talk more, I wouldn't mind a bit to share my experiences with ya.

I messaged you

I used to go to a regular therapist. We had talked a bit about me being very masculine and I rejected the idea of calling myself trans because I don't like labels. This was over a year ago and I don't know if that was denial, or what. I have always said that in my mind, I'm a guy, so I guess thats the definition of trans, right?
Anyway, back in June or July, I told her I was thinking of starting T and she had serious reservations about it. I remember her big concern being the high suicide rate of trans people. She told me to try growing my body hair to see how it felt, and to look into breast reduction instead. I haven't been back to see her since. I was really stung by her reaction. 
-Bear

That's really lousy, but you shouldn't let someone dictate your life. Try another therapist. I've had multiple since I was 6, or so, when I started therapy and my current one is definitely the one that suits me most. Good luck! And don't let anyone tell you crap like that, there are several happy ftms and mtfs!