Deleted myself out

[Mark3]

I'm happy your staying here too.. I always love your nature photography in the photo section, and other things you post.

I'm the same way Dani.. 3 weeks ago I nearly deleted my Facebook account, feeling my friends were just passing over me and ignoring me and things I felt important. Truth is I've done it several times already, I'm very insecure about such things.

Please tell someone when you feel left out again, tell me, I'll surely post to whats important to you.!

[Jaime R D]

One thing about pics around here is that the younger you are, the more comments you are likely to get on them. Its typical. Its also why some of us older ones don't bother posting in those topics anymore. Its got nothing to do with what you may think, its just good old fashion ageism...

[Ms Grace]

Glad you're back!

[stephaniec]

yes, I tried to delete awhile go , but  couldn't freakin find the button

[mrs izzy]

Glad to hear you are staying with the family.

You are on the right path and as I said you should not have any issues moving forward.

Looking good girl.

Hugs

Also fyi any Mod or Admin could restore a special topic if you wish.

[Delsorou]

Dani, sometimes people don't respond to picture threads because they either don't know what to say, or don't want to risk saying anything that would either make someone feel bad about themselves, or feel like they were being told what they wanted to hear. Please don't take that as a reflection of no one caring or no one wanting to say anything.

This ^ is pretty much exactly how I end up feeling... I never know quite what to say so I usually don't.  Then I feel guilty about not saying anything, because I KNOW how much emotion is behind each post, just to be there in the thread.  It took a lot for me to post mine - kind of a band-aid rip thing.

I'm sorry if I saw yours and didn't say anything...

I'm glad you changed your mind.  *big hug*

[Newgirl Dani]

Thanks ladies so much, the tears came back but of a different type.  I suppose I was just wanting at least one reply over a three week thing and then this last episode yesterday and today kinda tipped my scale so to speak.  and thanks about the nature pics, I'll have to resize them because every thread I've started is now gone.  Your all terrific  Dani

[Newgirl Dani]

yes, I tried to delete awhile go , but  couldn't freakin find the button

Hmmmm, yep, I was gettin kinda mad cause I could'nt find it either.  thanks I'm feeling lighter, boy that took alot out of me

[Tessa James]

Geesh I got worried with the start of this thread but hey, nice recovery turn Dani.  I think Jamie R D is right on about the pics.  I am an old girl and not looking for feedback about it.  I was hugely self conscious when I first started going out and, for better or worse, i found what was a big deal to me was nada to the masses.  Our validation is not likely coming from the prettiest princesses around.  You have earned the right to be yourself.  Thanks for coming back in.

[Jessica Merriman]

I told you I had a Sephirah and wasn't afraid to use her! *giggles* She makes all the boo boo's better! PM one of us next time for pete's sake. 

[Delsorou]

I'm actually looking forward to seeing the nature shots.  I do this myself as a hobby, and I never got to see yours because I had not seen the photo section yet.

[Mariah]

Like others have said I generally don't know what to say either when it comes to pics. So I generally don't comment or even view threads with them. You looked great in the pics especially the newer pic where you are clearly happier. I'm glad your back. Hugs.
Mariah.

Thanks ladies so much, the tears came back but of a different type.  I suppose I was just wanting at least one reply over a three week thing and then this last episode yesterday and today kinda tipped my scale so to speak.  and thanks about the nature pics, I'll have to resize them because every thread I've started is now gone.  Your all terrific  Dani

[Pikachu]

I told you I had a Sephirah and wasn't afraid to use her! *giggles* She makes all the boo boo's better!

Haha! I definitely agree with this. I think of Sephirah as this forum's guardian angel.

[JessicaH]

I've had the same thing happen Dani. Post a photo you are proud of and not a single comment then one of the young girls posts a pic and the comments go wild and your photo gets buried behind 10 "wow" comments. I felt a bit hurt too. Maybe we need a photo thread for some different age groups or something, I don't know. Keep in mind that cis women feel the same when they get compared to the young ones!

Anyways, I'm really sorry you got your feelings hurt and happy to have you back!!! 

[caitlyn powers]

Dear Dani,

I am kind of new here, so I am still getting comfortable adding my two cents.

Anyway, I think I may have seen your pictures the other day, and it seemed like they were taken from such a distance, I could not really make out all that much detail.  So, I did not respond--didn't know what to add.  I do think your avatar looks very femme, and it is very brave to reveal yourself here.  Keep your chin up; people here do care.

Best,
Cate

[Pikachu]

I do very much like your avatar, too, sweetie.

[Kyra553]

OK here goes.  After spending the last hour partially tearful (I cant seem to cry yet)  although on the inside COMPLETELY messed up, I decided to come back for one last check.  Saw ALL the posts and reactivated my account.

This is what happened.  Some time ago I was so thrilled to read all the posts when someone would put up a before and semi after pic.  Well I finally got the nerve to do this myself even if it was not alot of change, the makeup etc, but it still meant the world to me.  A few days went by and no replies, another few days go by and still nothing.  After a week or so it finally slipped onto the next page.  I kind of got a little desperate, thinking well 'maybe' for whatever reason something wasnt going right so I kind of swallowed my pride and replied to my own post to bump it back to page one.  Same thing, so I deleted it.

That was awhile back but yesterday I was so excited because I took all new pics and felt really really good about them.  Now I know 3 1/2 months is just a drop in the bucket but I was kind on top of the world about what I 'thought ' I saw.  So I posted them. I got two replies 'thank you both sooooo much'  but without downgrading the remarks I was waiting for any comments about a change in looks.  Then today I check back and no change....none.  I decide to reply to my own post   once more and include a pic of me that I REALLY did not want to look at because of the look in those eyes.  I have only had two pics taken of me in the last 40+ years and now they were both up for all to see along with the ones I felt so good about.    Nothing

I dont believe myself to be so fragile that my entire self view depends on others positive remarks but those two situations I guess was just too much for me and I kind of collapsed inward.  I started deleting all the topics I had started, I got more and more tearful as each one was gone as they were my record of each amazing step I've taken on the path towards my new life and to delete them almost felt like I was undoing it all.  The momentum though at that point could not be stopped.

Well there it is, but no matter what I feel, I'm back.  Dani

*hugs Dani* 

Try not to be too up set girl. Most of us get the same lack of responses here when we post some very private things such as pics. I can certainly relate...But on the other hand we may not get responses on pictures. But! Just look at all the love and care that's been casted onto you here and now when you truly needed it the most.

We're a rough family here but we're here for each other. Talk with us and we will listen to you.   

[Jill F]

Love your jacket!

I have come to realize that nobody has the time to read everything that gets posted here, myself included.  I try to offer support and hugs to all that need it, but some posts unfortunately fall through the cracks.  I'm pretty sure a good chunk of what I have posted here was never read.

You know you can always PM me.  I don't bite.

[Ms Grace]

*hugs Dani* 

Try not to be too up set girl. Most of us get the same lack of responses here when we post some very private things such as pics. I can certainly relate...But on the other hand we may not get responses on pictures. But! Just look at all the love and care that's been casted onto you here and now when you truly needed it the most.

We're a rough family here but we're here for each other. Talk with us and we will listen to you.   

A few months after starting here I posted a deeply personal insight into what I felt was at the core of my dysphoria and so forth - got one (lovely) response and that was it. I wouldn't say it was soul destroying but it did make me wonder why I bothered. Thing is that not everyone is going to know what to say in the moment, not everyone is in an emotionally clear space to respond, many others don't even see it to begin with before it is swallowed by all the other posts. If I might suggest though, when you do feel like posting those before and after pics again perhaps do it as part of the Before & After thread, you might get more people commenting there rather than with a separate post.

[Jill F]

It's so true, Grace.

It does really suck when it's like

*pours heart out*

*crickets*