Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

the Nonbinary community, the forest, and supporting others here

Started by Satinjoy, October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Satinjoy

We are running into a thing here where a few of us seem.to be trying to carry the forum, and some are dominating it and some threads, like the creatures thread that is so important and has now drifted away from its purpose, to reveal our hearts and genders and feelings... I am unhappy about that.

I know I am heavy in the forum, but I feel it is needed right now....

How do we get more non binary involvement?  There are many reaching out to us...

What is your contribution to the Nonbinary forum?

Are you able to speak out more?  Are you afraid to share?  We all have much to offer, do not fear to speak out..

Love to.all here

Blessings

Satinjoy
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
  •  

Edge

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AM
and some are dominating it and some threads
I may have done this on a thread and I am sorry for that. I'm impulsive and talk too much.

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AMWhat is your contribution to the Nonbinary forum?
Not much lately, but I used to post here a lot.

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AMAre you able to speak out more?  Are you afraid to share?  We all have much to offer, do not fear to speak out.
Yes, I am afraid to share for a few reasons. I'm not sure if I'm considered non-binary enough and if I'll be shut out for not being non-binary enough. I'm afraid that people will start talking about gender roles as if I believe in them or as if I should base my sense of self on them which I consider extremely insulting and frustrating which only gets worse because no matter how many times I repeat myself, people don't listen and they keep doing it. I currently do want people's input on things because I want an outside perspective, but I'm afraid to ask for it because I'm afraid no one will know what the heck I am talking about and start saying all sorts of things that make no sense. Then when I try to explain, I'm afraid they'll ignore me in favour of insisting that their misunderstanding is correct.
  •  

Taka

i'm kind of dominating these days. taking last post in more than half of the threads here...

but i'm doing it for the sake of learning through conversation.
i hope anyone else who does this will have the same reasons.
it's also some boredom, i might need to playmore minecraft again.
time without internet has made this forum a really convenient place to pour creativity into...

non-binay enough is a weird concept that i don't even want to understand.
if there's one thing i'd change about the world, it is the thought that you need to qualify for an identity.
an ethnic identity may be a little different, as well as a political one.
but the personal ones, that really don't impact anything other than your own life...
where's the need to protect so fiercely?

i hope i haven't been making you feel too uncomfortable, edge.
i have a tendency to throw out thoughts and even assumptions, but it's only to get more answers, trying to understand a reality that isn't my own.
it's interesting to see how different people are. i really want more people to give some serious input in this section.

anything that isn't dictating someone else's life or right to an identity, is good.
the way i see it.
  •  

EchelonHunt

I wanted to encourage a member to open up about themselves in the creature thread, I was very curious to know about what they would express in written context but instead, getting sentences that have seemingly little relevance to one's identity... or maybe it did? Shadow guards, three wolves, three ravens... yes, yes, that's wonderful but what do those animals/figures symbolize to that person...? I am a curious creature, perhaps too much for my own good, I am always seeking to understand another person, even if I get frustrated in the process. A terrible flaw of mine, I admit. The person in question has demonstrated very creative writing skills when describing their dysphoria, I thought I would see a little more of that and a spark of hope within their writing... the similar hope that many of us share here in the forest.

I thought showering them with love and acceptance would help reassure them that they aren't alone in their journey, that many others have been where they are now... I was wrong.

Hope is the only thing that keeps me going nowadays, it is a strong emotion and I cling to it. Without it, the world would be a lonely place.

I am sorry for causing the drift in the forest. I should have thought better than to invite and pressure someone who wasn't ready to open up about themselves. I promise I will not do it again.
  •  

Taka

that's not your fault jacey. even vampires are responsible for their own actions.

some people have a strong attachment to their darkness.
some because they identify with the pain, some because it's the only thing that assures them they're alive.

i like my darkness because it's fun. but i can't just go around wreaking havoc in the unicorn forest at the expense of other creatures.

love and acceptance aren't always the right things for a person.
sometimes grief and anger must be dealt with first.
i have experienced that myself.
love feeling fake, the light only burning my skin and blinding my vision.
but i've always known that people mean it well, and rejecting someone for accepting me is something i know isn't right.
i'm not that desperate to become lonely and miserable until death.
  •  

Pikachu

I hope it's okay for me to hang around and post here... I don't really think I'm dominating any threads. I really don't post all that often. But I dunno... I do feel a little apprehensive about being here. A self-identified binary in the non-binary section. I wonder if people are thinking, "What are you doing here? You've got a section of your own. Stay over there. You have nothing useful to contribute." But I try to reassure myself that it's probably baseless worrying and no one's thinking that. Everyone seems really nice here. Taka has become one of my favourite posters on Susan's. I wonder if he (correct me if that isn't the right pronoun) thinks I'm annoying, though. :P

Anyway, I probably do post in this section less than I want to, because I worry people don't want me here.
  •  

EchelonHunt

I keep my lid on my darkness tightly closed. I had opened that lid once before, it caused my mind and dreams to entertain fantasies nobody with an ounce of humanity should ever fantasize about - much less enjoy it thoroughly. My darkness remains under my skin, hidden from view, much like the organs within my body. I once hated it, I more-or-less have since accepted it as a part of me. Fighting your own darkness can be a losing battle when it is part of yourself, something you cannot erase or suppress forever, something that has ingrained itself into the very core of your being.

I believe everyone has their own definition of what their darkness is. I now understand that another person's darkness is not a representation of my own - this misguided assumption causes my protective instincts to kick in for all the wrong reasons. Their darkness may not threaten their livelihood, the darkness can be something that is embraced in a positive manner. I realize this now.

Thank you, Taka. 

And Pikachu, you are more than welcome to hang around. Please do not worry, binary or non-binary, we welcome you with open arms :icon_hug:
  •  

Kaelin

I've been busier than in years past and hunkering down a bit.  My mood's been sketchier a bit more the last couple months (maybe work and exercising less, maybe low-mid/dose E being around a bit more but not "progressing" further), but for the most part I'm keen to not talk/complain about things; usually I have a pretty idea of what I need to do, I'm still gathering information, or there's not anything I can realistically expect others to help with.

I'm not sure that even when I have things to say that they are as thoughtful as in the past.  I'm concerned about it, but that thought keeps getting driven out by other priorities.  I have had stepped on another user's toes while trying to help them and don't know how, and that's probably not helping.

My feelings of identity are even weaker than they are before.  Some people may look at this as "regressing," but I'm trying to break off identities and labels that don't confer anything I consider meaningful.  Even declaring who I am in the unicorn forest feels forced.  I can speak with greater confidence about what feels right for me, or what my values, talents, and interests are.
  •  

Taka

i dream of a world where gender does not matter, at least not the way it does now, and people are seen for who they are rather than expectations of gender roles.
how can i wish for something like this, if i don't welcome all to the forest?
this is a place to be free, not restricted.
to share of yourself to learn more together.

you're lovely pikachu.
i'd turn into a kitten to chase your fluttering wings, but without malicious intent.
i don't remember yesterday's events too well, this day is more important,
but i think i always found you lovely enough to chase playfully.
  •  

Pikachu

Awwww... Thanks, Taka.

You've got a really beautiful, expressive way of writing, you know. I really admire that.
  •  

Edge

Quote from: Taka on October 19, 2014, 10:09:03 AM
i hope i haven't been making you feel too uncomfortable, edge.
No, Taka. You're pretty open to trying to understand which I appreciate.

Quote from: EchelonHunt on October 19, 2014, 10:53:49 AM
I am a curious creature, perhaps too much for my own good, I am always seeking to understand another person, even if I get frustrated in the process.
I'm the same way, but I think it's a good thing. Not the frustration, but the curiosity.

Sometimes, the language gets a bit too flowery for me and I have no clue what anybody is saying.
  •  

Shantel

Quote from: Pikachu on October 19, 2014, 11:43:23 AM
I hope it's okay for me to hang around and post here... I don't really think I'm dominating any threads. I really don't post all that often. But I dunno... I do feel a little apprehensive about being here. A self-identified binary in the non-binary section. I wonder if people are thinking, "What are you doing here? You've got a section of your own. Stay over there. You have nothing useful to contribute." But I try to reassure myself that it's probably baseless worrying and no one's thinking that. Everyone seems really nice here. Taka has become one of my favourite posters on Susan's. I wonder if he (correct me if that isn't the right pronoun) thinks I'm annoying, though. :P

Anyway, I probably do post in this section less than I want to, because I worry people don't want me here.

Honey you're always welcome here, this is my base camp being non-binary transdrogynous but I feel free to post in all the MtF forums and some of the FtM forums because being trans is not an (Us vs Them) sort of proposition. I like the idea that we are all extended family, members of a unique community.
  •  

Pikachu

Quote from: Shantel on October 19, 2014, 12:49:19 PM
Honey you're always welcome here, this is my base camp being non-binary transdrogynous but I feel free to post in all the MtF forums and some of the FtM forums because being trans is not an (Us vs Them) sort of proposition. I like the idea that we are all extended family, members of a unique community.

That's why I like calling you auntie, 'cause you're like a part of my family. Everyone here is. :)
  •  

Shantel

Quote from: Pikachu on October 19, 2014, 12:52:31 PM
That's why I like calling you auntie, 'cause you're like a part of my family. Everyone here is. :)

:-*
  •  

Taka

Quote from: Edge on October 19, 2014, 12:41:13 PM
Sometimes, the language gets a bit too flowery for me and I have no clue what anybody is saying.
sometimes, staying here is a fight with my own instinct.
when things get flowery, i let sootball play. that thing is better than me at dealing with flowers that don't even try to eat little flies.
not that i don't appreciate cute things, i just don't know how to interact with them at all times.
  •  

Dread_Faery

Yeah I felt the forest got a little off track, sorry if I was a part of that. I'm quite open about my darkness I think, and I can understand if it is at times unsettling, but trying to repress it is actually quite painful, both mentally and physical. Yeah, the blade garden is more than just a metaphor.

I'm a dragon so I can be big and scary sometimes - I certainly acknowledge that the language I use can be intimidating, and I can be quite prickly at times (also hella sarcastic). I generally don't pick fights, this place is meant to be a safe space, and rowing doesn't help. I will however use the report button if I feel people are acting inappropriately (i think I've done it once, maybe twice).

I hope my input is relevant, it's nice talking to you all and trying to reach a better understanding of my gender.
  •  

Taka

i like cerys, would be sad to see you leave.
your input has been valuable to me, even if i think that blade garden of yours looks rather painful for my own taste.

if you want dark posts, i think i have made a couple of my own...
some destruction is playful, meant to ment rather tahn hurt.
but other times, it is a fight against a darkness that just won't be chased away.

i have found that expressing it, letting it exist, dwelling and contemplating on it for a bit, makes it easer to live with.
the darkness really is just another little piece of me that needs as much validation as anyone else in order for me to become complete.
  •  

suzifrommd

I don't sweat it. The forest is organic. Forests don't follow rules, don't conform to expectation. When there are fewer people, more of us will dominate. When there are more, each one contributes a little less. As long as it stays a safe loving place, everything else is less important.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
  •  

Dread_Faery

Yes, being able to express the darkness helps with the fact I dwell in it a lot of the time. Being afraid of it just makes it worse. I'm grateful for being able to get it out here.
  •  

Satinjoy

It's authentic to you, it's part of you, I have no issue with it, tomorrow I will pull your tail in that thread... we can have fun, that's fine, it's part of it, just like life...

Satinjoy
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
  •