No Response Needed or Wanted.. Just a Vent..
Living a lifestyle not of the norm, the many different experiences one can have. The good and the nagging ugly. So let me just be a self proclaimed "genius", in some aspect to myself. A genius solely based on fact that I guide my life well, interpret my surroundings and adapt in an instant. This is not to be held to expectations of others, but a personal experience... Currently my lifestyle consists of popularity or fame and this is not a wanted attention fueled by a narcissistic idea of myself or vanity.. I began my journey and through my actions, just happened to gain that. So not making this up, Fenix is known.. and she does not want to be. A nation growing in knowing your name.. How rude, especially when not asked for. Being very "spiritual" seems to have landed me in some trouble, with so many projected ideas of who I am and my interest. I am so incognito, but people think I say and do all that is within me... Followed constantly.. Maybe they want me in prison? Anywhere.. Just lock me up and give me my mones.. I can do life. I have traveled from Los Angeles to New York numerous times to escape. Not much of one when you take Greyhound as transportation. Then come rumours about why you do what you do.. All wrong, even if you have a conversation with someone and you're given a minimal aspect to as how their mind operates. Just a person with ideas, claims to think more for herself as the days pass... Intelligent, yet still in growth.. not knowing what to exactly say in a moment, but the feeling is there. Also to add, I am going through such a marvelous evolution.. Disbelieve me, let life be the example. I cannot force anyone to understand... "New Age BS" aha.. The evolution increment I am claiming to experience is long within OUR past. Also when I am forceful enough to voice my experience, it can never be to par of the actual. Aristotle, who I read up on yesterday has a quote (or something) that pretty much summed that up.. Explaining reality through words, but words cannot express kinda deal...
I have been learning techincally for a few years now. The past year or so really just quieting the mind, minimal "research", but as I have a theory.. To evolve.. You must have a reason (intention).. Make efforts towards.. Possibly experience (which happens in DUE time).. Then if you are mindfudged about it, take time.. Calm down, experience and make sanity of how much you can steer from what a mass of people go through.. Not that this is a definite result.. Synchronicity can play a role of God/Life/Goddes/Allah.. You get me.. Or be taken as Omens. I laugh, the magic I experience.. The beauty grew within.. Not only from being, but having others disbelieve. Wow.. Content.. Just Wow.. Alchemy.. It is..
So imagine being honest in your journey, having people latch on to you.. Yet, to misunderstand you.. Ugh, playing with your life, literally.. Believing they can teach you something all the time.. Granted.. I can learn new slang, cultural environments and personality traits of others that can build stature. Which I encourage to a certain degree, but people can toot their own horns with their egos, if you give them attention. Learn from everyone.. Even on greyhound.. So being clairvoyant being able to recognize the true sychronicities of your life and the now.. experiences you have and people try and manipulate your emotions based on what others claim makes you happy.. Ultimately believing you are delusional, crazy or fake.. (Did not know what else to put there instead of fake aha)
Have a conversation with someone, knowing they are there to recieve "information" from you and refer that back to everyone else following blindly.. Sadly.. Nobody asks questions anymore.. People who wear certain patterns of colors.. Only reason I can imagine they wear black and white is because being on a site.. I wrote about an attempt at remembering a past life.. Yet, I experienced a visiual of half black and half white.. Not able to make direct sense, the synchronicity of it.. The site happened to post about past life etc... So I comment.. Mentioning Baphomet.. Not claiming in anyway to be a reincarnation (ugh).. So yea.. Black and white patterns.. Now included with red and sometimes gold.. Which all together make a beautiful mix to me.. As I claimed talking to someone.. Go figure.. but rest assured I am able to realize intentions, past conversations, hidden agendas.. which seems to be the same of intentions... I just ALWAYS go with it.. BitterSweet.. Then people believe you are "falling" for it.. Which feels as if it is a intentional stab at your intellect.. Ouch.. but Understanding, I know what I know, others do not. Well claim they do.. So fake conversations... relationships.. Blaze some ganja with someone and they are a recording your conversation, analyzing you.. well from what you present to them.. Now imagine a mass of people following orders, yet have a basic understanding of what is misleading them.. With one TRUE person who knows the full experience.. Equates to so many people "trying" to help.. Ouch.. Now add money.. People will hate you.. Believe you do not deserve it, what makes you so special, must be a fake if you cannot see the "opportunity", "lavish" life... The list goes on.. Ugh.. Especially incorporating a society that is in need of money.. You are to blame.. and no one else.. I cannot stand jealousy.. not that all are.. but truth, it can exist for some.. I personally.. Nope.. Oh the drama... Haters will hate, make slick comments... Try and make you jealous in numerous and being a virgin, intentionally btw.. people boast their relationships.. ever seen people kiss and they look at you to see if you are effected by it..? Peripheral vision along with many attributes of life.. the human machine.. Wow.. Walking adapted species.. No claim to be "the most advanced".. Just mine.. Please, do not feel some type of way.. Evolution I can piece together as a combination of "regular" attributes.. Sight, Taste, Touch, Sound.. What is that other one.. Space out.. But we know it.. or someone does.. Now add that with the limitless aspects that consciousness can bring.. A sense.. Many.. Like touching an item and having memories downloaded.. or "picking up a thought".. but that is X-Men talk.. aha
evolution is touchy, especially with such claims...
Fenix, she is labeled as a young adult trying to find her way, lost in the world.. Is indecisive, lil' Coo Koo, naive, spoiled, understood..
Observer perspective.. She always has a plan that will work, she has visions... She keeps her plan to herself, only to let tiny bits of information out.. She makes decision by execution, to find the most efficient structure to meet what she describes as her intuition.. Crazy, but because when she types or speaks she is grammatically challgened and punctuation is not her best suit.. She comprehend well, just believes in spreading magic.. But understanding with great power comes GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.. She fears letting others know.. Past experiences have let her know people undermine what she has to say.. Maybe the have a belief it is "easy", now worth while, just another person mumbling about w/e... Then people think you are crazy.. Not that I care, but people try it..
Traveling these states, people have literally tried to make me find interest in their town/city or state.. I mean news.. Townspeople.. LGBT areas... I just turn a "blind" eye.. So many people engulfing your life.. Just trying to get away.. and that leads to people trying to "open" you up from being "antisocial"... Beauty being within the know.. but the overwhelming of it all, comprehending energies at a SINGLE moment.. like forcing much through a stream and expecting fluent flow.. Funny how people claim that it is too obvious and that is how I know, or someone told me.. Or it is obvious now.. Whew.. as I typed earlier.. Blanked again..
Money, Colleges and Programs.. Overwhelming.. Money and you should "sell your soul, because I am homeless and need it".. Colleges finding interest in you, and programs taking credit for you.. Which I am still grateful for.. Even the manifestation of what has come.. Who knew as a kid, I could have control and always had control.. I will not mention any more attributes about my growing experience.. Much more than what mainstream folk explain.. Feeling so sexy right now.. and Britney Spears is being played next to me..
Venting.. and keeping quiet and choosing wisely.. Shift in Paradigm.. Whew.. I believe.. Thank you God.. Just that statement can influence others to think singular, but ask a question to see the seed of thought.. Muah!
Wonder why I would not just give in? Simple.. All these people think they know.. But no official can ask the direct questions.. Yet have series of ways of testing me.. Be the streets, interactions with others.. You name it..
From nothing to something.. Now people throw subliminal.. From "spiritual relations", hair dews, brands of clothing, markets to buy groceries.. The list goes on.. I love life, could pass tonite.. with a sense of fulfillment.. I can pass, but seems others care to know what goes on in here.. *tapped head*.. Well, ask a direct question.. Not to someone else, direct.. and you will be rewarded with the same.. Direct response, with the truth being presented at my best ability.. Dealing with heterosexual people and being wise and transgender.. The Shade is Real.. All of the sudden you are raisinig the devil.. buuuut, why have I always had a conversation and connection to Life and or God? If you know of me... Please do not try and hook me up, make references towards my looks to make me feel some type of way.. Think absorbing information I willingly put out is all of me.. and that you can hide your intentions by changing your posture.. WHEW... no Marijuana but I am currently high off life. With dreams to expand my knowledge through experience (which I have set a good foundation through research), become a bartender and enroll in college for Physics.. Have the Eureka moments I contiously have everyday.. Only to grow more.. What a rant.. Simple life, working a nine to five.. Watch me do.. Cannot wait for all of this to stop.. A normal person doing normal things.. YaY!
Famous College, fame, money... Who needs all of that.. Not I.. We all have goals and some of us think very differently.
Wonder if they will ever confront me.. I do not owe anyone anything from what I understand.. Play naive.. Oh, and this is all some fictional rant.. aha que dice
