packing removed today, no dilation I'm crying and scared, please help

[Sandy]

Ok, first off, breathe.  Relax.  As I'm writing this and you appear offline so hopefully you are sleeping or at least relaxing.  Being tense and anxious will not help your condition.

Now, let's talk.

Hon, I've been where you are.  I'm several years past my surgery and I know what a hard time it is.  I very nearly ruined my surgery as I was coming out of anesthesia.  I had a panic reaction (which I have no recollection of) and started thrashing around on the bed.  They had to tie me down to the bed to keep me from hurting myself.  When I finally regained consciousness, I was so bewildered why I couldn't move my legs.  My surgeon was right cross with me.  Though understood that anesthesia panic is not an unusual reaction.

You've just been through some very major surgery and have been under general anesthesia for several hours.  That is brutal to your body.  Also while you were under you were given several pints of saline to keep you hydrated.  As a consequence, your whole body is swollen.  That's really ok, because you have kidneys.  They will do their job and will bring your swelling down through urination.  But it takes some days for it all to work through your system.  But the result is that the surgical site will have more swelling because of the body being given the saline and the surgeon working down there.  As a side note, your time under GA is about the same time it takes to do a heart transplant.  This was not a simple snip and tuck but some very serious surgery and a rigorous ordeal to your body.

A doctors first job is to keep you well.  No matter what else is going on.  So if your surgeon is saying you are too swollen to dilate, then give it some time and the swelling will reduce and you can start your dilation regimen.  You will soon become a slave to your dilation schedule and your dilators.  I named mine Homer, Jethro, Big Guy, and OH MY GOD!!!!!.

Yes, if not attended to, your surgical wounds could heal shut.  But this is not like getting your ears pierced and having to keep the first earrings in so that the hole would seal shut if you take them out too soon.  It would take weeks for anything like that to happen, so a day or two, after taking the packing out and not dilating is not the end of the world, nor will the surgeons good work be ruined.

Let the surgeon guide you, let your body recover from the truly significant ordeal it's been put through.  You will be fine.

-Sandy

[Jenna Marie]

Yeah, I would trust the doctor. Most *do* recommend dilation on the first day the packing is removed... but that's based on their personal technique for the surgery, and that can vary. So if a surgeon says their technique doesn't require it, I'd assume they know what they're talking about.

DO NOT stick anything in there. The risks if you start trying to "dilate" using un-approved materials, without knowing what you're doing, start at tearing the vagina apart or causing a fistula, and end with death from infection. Believe me, even if it were going to close up (which it likely isn't), the damage you could do by attempting dilation on your own is far, far worse. Ditto for dilating too long/too much; it's OK to run a little long or whatever, but if you're planning on significantly altering the dilation schedule, check with the surgeon. That schedule is usually set in the very early days to find the balance between "enough dilation to keep everything open and flexible" and "too much risk of destroying the fragile new tissues and undoing the stitched areas." Overdo it and you might cause permanent damage.

(There's a lot more flexibility in dilation once it's no longer a surgical site, and after a couple years you can basically listen to your body and do what you want. But in the very early days you *need* to be careful about the surgeon's instructions.)

[blackponyx]

I don't think that's how it works...and even if it did I could just stop dilating.for a week or two and it would get a little smaller...hahaha. I really don't think a little extra is bad. I mean, what if you want to use a dildo to pleasure yourself?.are you going to think "nope, my minutes for today are up, I can't".dildo or medical dilator, same difference... but no I won't do it all day long. But does anyone know if it's good or bad to do a little extra?
I'm the kind of a person who would do that, it would come naturally to me, if itdoesn't bcause any harm.

I don't mean harm but if you think you are right and already have an answer in mind - don't ask.

Of course you can do whatever you want to it - a 'little extra' but if you overdo it and tear the internal stitches, i don't think your doctor will be responsible for it.

Btw, I'm lazy to quote but you said 'I haven't heard anything bad about my dr [dr Pichet]''

Really? Are you sure?

My advice is listen and listen and listen. Oh and be patient. Follow the advice and instructions properly and don't be stubborn.

Have a speedy recovery.

[onescaredquestion]

I don't mean harm but if you think you are right and already have an answer in mind - don't ask.

Of course you can do whatever you want to it - a 'little extra' but if you overdo it and tear the internal stitches, i don't think your doctor will be responsible for it.

Btw, I'm lazy to quote but you said 'I haven't heard anything bad about my dr [dr Pichet]''

Really? Are you sure?

My advice is listen and listen and listen. Oh and be patient. Follow the advice and instructions properly and don't be stubborn.

Have a speedy recovery.

Please don't feel offended but I feel like you didn't read a single word I said. I never mentioned the name of by surgeon out of respect. I only mentioned the name of a known butcher as something that not dilated right away REMINDED me of. But thank you,I hope I will.

[onescaredquestion]

Ok, first off, breathe.  Relax.  As I'm writing this and you appear offline so hopefully you are sleeping or at least relaxing.  Being tense and anxious will not help your condition.

Now, let's talk.

Hon, I've been where you are.  I'm several years past my surgery and I know what a hard time it is.  I very nearly ruined my surgery as I was coming out of anesthesia.  I had a panic reaction (which I have no recollection of) and started thrashing around on the bed.  They had to tie me down to the bed to keep me from hurting myself.  When I finally regained consciousness, I was so bewildered why I couldn't move my legs.  My surgeon was right cross with me.  Though understood that anesthesia panic is not an unusual reaction.

You've just been through some very major surgery and have been under general anesthesia for several hours.  That is brutal to your body.  Also while you were under you were given several pints of saline to keep you hydrated.  As a consequence, your whole body is swollen.  That's really ok, because you have kidneys.  They will do their job and will bring your swelling down through urination.  But it takes some days for it all to work through your system.  But the result is that the surgical site will have more swelling because of the body being given the saline and the surgeon working down there.  As a side note, your time under GA is about the same time it takes to do a heart transplant.  This was not a simple snip and tuck but some very serious surgery and a rigorous ordeal to your body.

A doctors first job is to keep you well.  No matter what else is going on.  So if your surgeon is saying you are too swollen to dilate, then give it some time and the swelling will reduce and you can start your dilation regimen.  You will soon become a slave to your dilation schedule and your dilators.  I named mine Homer, Jethro, Big Guy, and OH MY GOD!!!!!.

Yes, if not attended to, your surgical wounds could heal shut.  But this is not like getting your ears pierced and having to keep the first earrings in so that the hole would seal shut if you take them out too soon.  It would take weeks for anything like that to happen, so a day or two, after taking the packing out and not dilating is not the end of the world, nor will the surgeons good work be ruined.

Let the surgeon guide you, let your body recover from the truly significant ordeal it's been put through.  You will be fine.

-Sandy

I actually slept for almost 12 hours I think. or was it 10?.I woke up a couple of times but went right back to sleep. Anyway,I think I've slept enough.
I was just panicking. I'm not actually going to stick something in there,I understand it would probably tear the stitches and I'm not going to do anything to ruin this.
I just feel like the dilation schedules arbitrary. I haven't even seen mine buttl I read one surgeon had something like 10+15 min with size one up to 30+45 min with size 4 every day, and another had like 6x45 min with any size and another one just 10 minutes a few times. I don't know how reliable the internet sites were though some were the sites of the actual surgeons but most weren't. It just seems so random. Would an extra halfan hour or hour really be bad?.I'll ask my surgeon. I know I shouldn't be asking anyone here, it just passes the time and makes me less nervous even if it's just chitchat. Thank you for the support.

[onescaredquestion]

Yeah, I would trust the doctor. Most *do* recommend dilation on the first day the packing is removed... but that's based on their personal technique for the surgery, and that can vary. So if a surgeon says their technique doesn't require it, I'd assume they know what they're talking about.

DO NOT stick anything in there. The risks if you start trying to "dilate" using un-approved materials, without knowing what you're doing, start at tearing the vagina apart or causing a fistula, and end with death from infection. Believe me, even if it were going to close up (which it likely isn't), the damage you could do by attempting dilation on your own is far, far worse. Ditto for dilating too long/too much; it's OK to run a little long or whatever, but if you're planning on significantly altering the dilation schedule, check with the surgeon. That schedule is usually set in the very early days to find the balance between "enough dilation to keep everything open and flexible" and "too much risk of destroying the fragile new tissues and undoing the stitched areas." Overdo it and you might cause permanent damage.

(There's a lot more flexibility in dilation once it's no longer a surgical site, and after a couple years you can basically listen to your body and do what you want. But in the very early days you *need* to be careful about the surgeon's instructions.)

Okay, okay, you convinced me! You didn't have to make me MORE scared you know... now I'm thinking "dilate 10 minutes too long and my vagina will prolapse out of my body and spit Ebola at me and I'll die of ten infections within the hour".I know you didn't mean that but yeah. (I'm not entirely serious haha. But please don't be so scary...)

[FrancisAnn]

Lots of members care about you. Vent all you need it's OK. You will have plenty of support. Congradulations on your surgery & I'm sure you will OK in due time. Just try to rest.

[Jenna Marie]

I am sorry for scaring you. You scared *me* a bit with the "dilate with a shampoo bottle" thing.

The dilation schedules DO vary a lot by surgeon, and when I say you can overdo it, I'm talking like twice as much or more than they recommend. (So if, say, you had my schedule of 80 minutes a day and did 3 hours, that would probably be bad.) There are people who fall asleep for hours and whatnot and are fine, though. 

Honestly, you'll be fine. I've been there, and it's easy to panic - I called the nurses in once, hysterical because I thought I had a horrendous infection and it turned out to be perfectly normal healing skin! - but 99% of people who follow the surgeon's instructions and are reasonably clean and careful will do beautifully.

[onescaredquestion]

I am sorry for scaring you. You scared *me* a bit with the "dilate with a shampoo bottle" thing.

The dilation schedules DO vary a lot by surgeon, and when I say you can overdo it, I'm talking like twice as much or more than they recommend. (So if, say, you had my schedule of 80 minutes a day and did 3 hours, that would probably be bad.) There are people who fall asleep for hours and whatnot and are fine, though. 

Honestly, you'll be fine. I've been there, and it's easy to panic - I called the nurses in once, hysterical because I thought I had a horrendous infection and it turned out to be perfectly normal healing skin! - but 99% of people who follow the surgeon's instructions and are reasonably clean and careful will do beautifully.

Thank you. I just said that in my panic, I'm not really going to do anything like that. I just really hope the swelling will go down. I also really hope I would have done a better job cleaning my place but I had no time. I think it's the first thing I'll have to do, change the sheets and make sure at least the bed is as clean as it can be...

[onescaredquestion]

Lots of members care about you. Vent all you need it's OK. You will have plenty of support. Congradulations on your surgery & I'm sure you will OK in due time. Just try to rest.

Thank you. I really appreciate it and I hope I can help some of you in some way too.

[onescaredquestion]

So I just found out the dilation is going to be stayed THE DAYS from removing the packaging, in other words not tomorrow but the next day! today when they douched me it felt like the opening was already tighter! It can't close... and I'm so worried, the swelling still hasn't gone down noticeably which is why it probably wouldn't make sense to dilate tomorrow anyway but what am I going to do if it just won't go down?? I'm trying to drink extra much water now but I've taken all mymeds including the anti swelling ones and iI just don't know what more I can do...
What if in two days the doctor says it's still too swollen and waits until it's closed
Why couldn't I heal normally like everyone else...

[Jenna Marie]

I had swelling lingering for TWO YEARS. I had so much swelling at first that even the nurses were shocked. Everything looks perfect now. Swelling is normal at this stage post-op, and the doctor knows what he's doing. He won't choose to delay dilation until it's closed; if there's still swelling when that becomes a risk (if that's the reason for the delay), he'll likely just use a slimmer dilator than planned.

Truly, try to relax.

[mrs izzy]

Calm down, breathe and for what the surgeon suggest and what the nurses tell you to do.

It's a very long process in the healing.
So you picked your surgeon now relax and trust there profession knowledge

[onescaredquestion]

I had swelling lingering for TWO YEARS. I had so much swelling at first that even the nurses were shocked. Everything looks perfect now. Swelling is normal at this stage post-op, and the doctor knows what he's doing. He won't choose to delay dilation until it's closed; if there's still swelling when that becomes a risk (if that's the reason for the delay), he'll likely just use a slimmer dilator than planned.

Truly, try to relax.

Okay, I'll try.... really, it's just so scary. It's like thinking "now I'm finally done".just to be slapped with "ha, no you're not! You might have just done everything for nothing, ha-ha!"

[onescaredquestion]

Calm down, breathe and for what the surgeon suggest and what the nurses tell you to do.

It's a very long process in the healing.
So you picked your surgeon now relax and trust there profession knowledge

I'm trying... I've seen his results and if Ican tell anything based on this crazy swelling, my result is... at least average, maybe even little better? But this whole no dilation crazy swelling thing has me worried. What if I'm in the 1% who get the kind of complications that ruin everything...

[onescaredquestion]

I had swelling lingering for TWO YEARS. I had so much swelling at first that even the nurses were shocked. Everything looks perfect now. Swelling is normal at this stage post-op, and the doctor knows what he's doing. He won't choose to delay dilation until it's closed; if there's still swelling when that becomes a risk (if that's the reason for the delay), he'll likely just use a slimmer dilator than planned.

Truly, try to relax.

How much swelling did you have? Mine looks like you could fit a whole tennis ball in there... what did they do about the dilation and swelling in your case? I'm sorry if you already told me, my mind is a little frazzled right now

[Jenna Marie]

It wasn't so much swelling of the vagina as the whole area - my vulva alone was like half a basketball sized. Seriously. I took anti-inflammatories and tried to be patient, mostly... They said to not overdo exercise and otherwise just wait, and they were right.

Although, if you can fit a tennis ball in there, you're not closing up.

[onescaredquestion]

It wasn't so much swelling of the vagina as the whole area - my vulva alone was like half a basketball sized. Seriously. I took anti-inflammatories and tried to be patient, mostly... They said to not overdo exercise and otherwise just wait, and they were right.

Although, if you can fit a tennis ball in there, you're not closing up.

Sometimes I forget to give enough information... yes, my vagina/lips are swollen but what's most swollen is the area ABOVE, around the pubic bone, in other words above my genitals.  You could fit a tennis ball there and then it continues down the labia .majora which are so swollen they're like 1-1.5" thick... idk it looks gross. Everything is swollen. :/ what if the swelling goes inwards and pushes everything closed...

[FrancisAnn]

I have not had my GRS however I did have a complete face lift & eye lid surgery this summer. Everything swells after surgery. You would not believe how much my face swelled but it does go down in time. I was very scarred to be honest. Now some 3 months later everything looks great. So just try & be cool as best you can GF. Take some pain pills & sleep/rest. Good luck GF.

[Sandy]

Sometimes I forget to give enough information... yes, my vagina/lips are swollen but what's most swollen is the area ABOVE, around the pubic bone, in other words above my genitals.  You could fit a tennis ball there and then it continues down the labia .majora which are so swollen they're like 1-1.5" thick... idk it looks gross. Everything is swollen. :/ what if the swelling goes inwards and pushes everything closed...

Remember that the greatest swelling will be at the surgical site.  It will recede, but it will take time.  Everything down there will look gruesome, the term frankenpu$$y is appropriate (and coined by Dr Bowers, I believe).

The thing to remember is that right now, this is as bad as it's ever going to get.  From here it is only going to get better.  The swelling will recede, you will not lose all you have gained.  The swelling is as bad as it's ever going to get.  And to tell the truth the swelling is inside as well.  And that will recede as well.  One of the reasons for dilation is to reduce swelling.  Once you are told you can begin dilation you should see a reduction in swelling soon after.

And, again, do not too become anxious about your condition.  Let the surgeon guide you and let your body recover.

It does get better.  Really!

-Sandy