As good as you thought it would be?

[Melissa]

I would say that I *did* have expectations when I started or rather and idea of what I hoped to have at the very least.  For that, I would say that I've pretty much achieved what I had imagined (which was pretty much being who I was before, but just as a female).  As for my physical transformation, my results have easily surpassed all my expectations.  I thought I would need to be on hormones for years, voice surgery to get the voice, and have major FFS to ever pass as a woman consistently.  Now I do that every day.  Not only that, but I'm having people hit on me (mostly guys) and some are even telling me I'm beautiful.

Being passable I would think is very improtant.  For me, It is all about being as passable as I can.

Um sorry, but it's not about "passing", but rather it's about being seen, accepted and treated as the gender you really are by everyone (and for many, being seen as a trans-woman is just not the same thing).  If who you really are inside is female, then passing would just be a means of accomplishing that.

For instance, I pass in everyday life and can do stealth when I choose to (and I do for most parts), but at work, about half the people knew I transitioned since I did it at the same job I am at.  Everybody treats me as female regardless though and as far as I can tell, they completely accept me as female.  One possible though is that because I was moved onto a different floor than most of the women, I rarely get a chance to socialize with them.   Fortunately I am able to make up for this in the other stealth aspects of my life.  I do plan on looking for another job after I get SRS and this time it would definitely be in stealth--at least DADT stealth.

[Ell]

Most Westerners will NEVER get it.

I'm tired of hearing the way you use the phrase "most Westerners," as if we were somehow inferior. i'm not sure what Eastern philosophy you study, but what does it say about manners?

i mean, c'mon. we may be heathens and barbarians, but "Most Westerners" do know that 'Arrogant' is a very poor adjective to have to hang in front of the title, 'Guru'

[Butterfly]

       Being passable I would think is very improtant.  For me, It is all about being as passable as I can.

Before FFS I thought I was the most horrid woman on the face of the earth.  My self-esteem was destroyed & I was on the verge of suicide.

Today I have a very successful life & I've accomplished so much since my FFS.  Now I can honestly say that it is as good as I thought it would be.  You're not off topic Angie.  I relate to what you've expressed on here.

[melissa90299]

       Being passable I would think is very improtant.  For me, It is all about being as passable as I can.

I've accomplished so much since my FFS.

Wow! That is some great work! Who was the surgeon?

Posted on: August 14, 2007, 10:04:22 AM

Most Westerners will NEVER get it.

I'm tired of hearing the way you use the phrase "most Westerners," as if we were somehow inferior. i'm not sure what Eastern philosophy you study, but what does it say about manners?

i mean, c'mon. we may be heathens and barbarians, but "Most Westerners" do know that 'Arrogant' is a very poor adjective to have to hang in front of the title, 'Guru'

The arrogance you perceive is created in your mind. It is not coming from me. The fact is that most Westerners have a hard time grasping the concepts that I talk about and often dismiss them or challenge them, due to their lack of understanding. I have stated many times that I, as a Westerner, had a very hard time understanding the concepts I discuss.

If I were to tell you that I believe that millions of people are capable of perception far beyond the five senses, would you accept it?

If I were to say that attachment to the concept of "flawless passability" will only cause suffering, would you accept that?

[Shana A]

If I were to tell you that I believe that millions of people are capable of perception far beyond the five senses, would you accept it?

I remember sitting in a classroom as a very young child, the teacher telling us that there were five senses. I knew that there were clearly more than five, but also knew that it was probably not a good idea to say so to the teacher 

If I were to say that attachment to the concept of "flawless passability" will only cause suffering, would you accept that?

I absolutely agree with this, at least in as much as I, a westerner, understand the concept of attachment.

Z

[Melissa]

I knew that there were clearly more than five, but also knew that it was probably not a good idea to say so to the teacher 

That sounds like it was a sensible thing to do.

[Lisbeth]

Is life as a woman as good as you imagined it would be?

Yes and no.  To now be myself is more than the greatest thing I could ever imagined.  But the life that women lead in our patriarchic society is so much more circumscribed than I could ever have imagined from the outside.

Posted on: August 14, 2007, 12:07:41 PM

If I were to tell you that I believe that millions of people are capable of perception far beyond the five senses, would you accept it?

I remember sitting in a classroom as a very young child, the teacher telling us that there were five senses. I knew that there were clearly more than five, but also knew that it was probably not a good idea to say so to the teacher 

Indeed, early on we learn not to speek of things that adults refuse to see.

[Shana A]

That sounds like it was a sensible thing to do. Wink

Yes, usually when I said something that I thought was profound, I got in trouble... either from teacher or other kids... hmmmmm, can't imagine why, we all know I wouldn't say anything controversial

Z

[melissa90299]

If I were to tell you that I believe that millions of people are capable of perception far beyond the five senses, would you accept it?

I remember sitting in a classroom as a very young child, the teacher telling us that there were five senses. I knew that there were clearly more than five, but also knew that it was probably not a good idea to say so to the teacher 

If I were to say that attachment to the concept of "flawless passability" will only cause suffering, would you accept that?

I absolutely agree with this, at least in as much as I, a westerner, understand the concept of attachment.

Z

That is the problem with this format, the questions were addressed specifically to the other poster. Your interjection merely muddles the message. Oh well.

Posted on: August 14, 2007, 12:20:16 PM

I knew that there were clearly more than five, but also knew that it was probably not a good idea to say so to the teacher 

That sounds like it was a sensible thing to do.

Then further muddling...


God, grant me the serenity...

[Shana A]

That is the problem with this format, the questions were addressed specifically to the other poster. Your interjection merely muddles the message. Oh well.

Oooops, sorry I guess I think of this format like a gigantic dinner table with the entire family, multiple conversations going on simultaneously.

Z

[deviousxen]

Most Westerners will NEVER get it.

I'm tired of hearing the way you use the phrase "most Westerners," as if we were somehow inferior. i'm not sure what Eastern philosophy you study, but what does it say about manners?

i mean, c'mon. we may be heathens and barbarians, but "Most Westerners" do know that 'Arrogant' is a very poor adjective to have to hang in front of the title, 'Guru'

Lol. I believe the phrase, "Most Homo-Sapiens" works much better. We're ALL inferior.

[Melissa]

I knew that there were clearly more than five, but also knew that it was probably not a good idea to say so to the teacher 

That sounds like it was a sensible thing to do.

Then further muddling...


God, grant me the serenity...

Not muddling, it's called a pun.

[Berliegh]

I think it's much harder than I expected.....I thought I was good material to start with and then I find out it's not so easy and hormones do very little. I still have a man's bodyshape and it's very very depressing after all this time.
The amount of operations to atain a female bodyshape is vast and when you start you have no idea how hard it';s going to be.

[Melissa]

The amount of operations to atain a female bodyshape is vast and when you start you have no idea how hard it';s going to be.

Look into corseting (specifically tightlacing).  It's much more affordable and practical.

[melissa90299]

www.darkgarden.com

..where I get mine, I wish I learn how to lace em up faster one day...

[Melissa]

www.darkgarden.com

..where I get mine, I wish I learn how to lace em up faster one day...

I ordered mine from www.romantasy.com, which is also in the bay area.  I have not received mine yet, but I have been using a belt and in less than 3 months, I have already lost 5 inches off my waist.  I just had to punch new holes in the belt this past weekend because I was already on it's smallest setting and it was the smaller of the 2 belts I was using.  My waist is now about an inch or so smaller than it was in the bikini pic I took.

[deviousxen]

I've always had an interest in those. I think my biggest problems are proportion-wise. Like, I'm pretty small, but I've built up so much "ripped" muscle over the years I'd look rather odd. My shoulders have alot of tissue. I'm skinny though. My only concern is the muscle definition and my albinoesce pigment. I'm SOO white.


And no, muscular girls are cool. Its just I debate wtf I'd look like if I went ALL the way.

[cindianna_jones]

You know... life is much different than what I thought it might be.

It's normal and mundane.  I have to get out of bed, shower, and face the day just like any other normal woman.  Actually, my life isn't mundane... it's pretty freekin unbelievable  But that has nothing to do with being female. It's about what I've been able to accomplish since my transition.

I suppose that the greatest and most wonderful thing about my new (going on a couple of decades now) life is that I don't have the little squirrel running in my brain telling me that I need to be a girl.  That little squirrel still runs, but she and I work together to do some pretty amazing things.

The old thoughts that tore my life asunder are buried in the past.  This, my dear, is the wondrous thing about my life.   My only thoughts of gender variance are when I visit here.

Cindi

[Kate]

You know... life is much different than what I thought it might be.

It's normal and mundane.  I have to get out of bed, shower, and face the day just like any other normal woman.  Actually, my life isn't mundane... it's pretty freekin unbelievable  But that has nothing to do with being female. It's about what I've been able to accomplish since my transition.

I suppose that the greatest and most wonderful thing about my new (going on a couple of decades now) life is that I don't have the little squirrel running in my brain telling me that I need to be a girl.  That little squirrel still runs, but she and I work together to do some pretty amazing things.

The old thoughts that tore my life asunder are buried in the past.  This, my dear, is the wondrous thing about my life.

And this... what you describe... has always been my deepest, most desperate wish and hope. It gets no more complicated than that.

My only thoughts of gender variance are when I visit here.

And a huge THANK YOU to all of you who give us newbies hope at the expense of reminding yourselves of the pain you went through to get here. I can only imagine how tempting it must be to just move on and forget all this, so truly... I... we all... deeply appreciate your generosity and selfless compassion.

~Kate~

[Steph]

For myself I can honestly say that my life has has been as good as, and even better than I thought it would be.  Just like every other woman there are high points and not so high points, but it's all a part of living your life and dealing with those curve balls that are sometimes tossed your way.

It's safe to say that each of us has our own set of values and goals that once achieved would mark our success.

Truthfully I don't recall if I had expectations other than happiness and I certainly have achieved that goal.  Even after factoring in the recent turmoil that I have battled through, I can honestly say that I'm happy.

I truly believe that there is one issue above all else in this life that we have to ensure and that is to be happy, for if we can't be happy then what's the point.

Steph