Quote from: akegia on October 24, 2014, 11:22:48 AM
Hello,
Let's see, I am 26 mtf. I don't really know what to say as I am very shy and reserved person, so I might just get into a ramble as I do that when I am very nervous. 
I have always had thoughts and wanted to transition since day 1, its one of those things I have always had in my mind but never put into motion till now. Mostly out of fear, I live in Texas and the deep south isn't always the most inviting(Is Texas even considered part of the South? IDK but anyways)
I came out to my fiancee, she is the most accepting person in the world. Aswell as to my Mother, and Brother. They both took it fine I guess.
I have been on HRT for going on 3 weeks now. Its a two fold thing, on one hand I have been happier then I have ever been on HRT and the sense I am moving forward with who I am. But the other hand I am a 6ft 0in person with size 11 feet(mens) going on 12s maybe. Luckily I'm not that big weight wise, only 122 at the moment, I want to get that up to atleast 140 cause I know its atleast a healthier place to be.(I've had eating disorders all my life) And a VERY deep, Texas Twang Voice. But on the luckily side I'm not hairy at all, hardly have any facial hair and basically no chest or back hair. So I know it is going to be a long road and it scary to start something like this but I am going to be strong and push ahead as this is what I need to do for myself to be happy.
Anyways I would call that a ramble so I am going to shut up now.
Bye! 
Akegia,
There are no clear markers on the journey to an authentic life. There is no easy path that I know of. To transition is difficult. It includes loss as well as the delight of becoming who you know yourself to be. It is expensive and takes a very long time to complete. If you have a choice, don't transition, if you have an non binary option that can leave you whole and happy please take it. If on the other hand you are at the core of your being a woman and can not imagine living as you currently do, have endless endurance and hope, then you have little choice but to follow where you are instinctively led.
I life my life as a woman, and will do so for as long as I continue to inhabit this planet. It is more complicated than that, but the way that I want to be seen, and the way that I need to present is feminine. For me the cost, while high, is balanced and more than compensated for by the joy of living my truth and following the pilgrim's path to authenticity. I love the fact that I am perceived and loved as a girl. Still there are large parts of my life that have become closed and are no longer accessible to me.
My marriage failed, much of my family has condemned me and I have shed a river of tears, questioning whether I was mad, self absorbed, or perhaps simply a colossal fool. The truth is that none of those perceived losses are significant in the long climb to who I in my heart of hearts am. For me, to deny my core would be to deny my existence. For me to abandon my spirit would be to abandon my life. The simple and true fact is that I was born a woman with a penis. That can be remedied, but the remedy is imperfect and the path is scattered with stones.
Scared yet? If not you haven't been paying attention. If so and yet you know for certain and for sure that this is what you must do, and that you have the courage to transcend difficulty, then you have taken the first step to who you truly are. To live an authentic life under the conditions that exist is both the hardest thing and the most rewarding thing I have ever done. To not have followed this path and lived this journey would have been to abandon hope and in a very real sense not give a joyful life a chance.
I welcome and embrace you,
Julie
