Leaving all my friends behind

[Auroramarianna]

I am leaving and breaking contact with all my friends/acquaintances. I know it sounds harsh but I need to do it. I know it may seem like I am being such an idiot but it is actually the most important thing I can do. I have to accept that they don't want me in their lives like in the past and stop holding to nothing amd just move on. I am going to start from scratch. I am going join this youth group and make some volunteer work. I plan to work part-time so I can fund my transition which I really want, and I desperately need a boyfriend lol. I am also going to learn more cooking

))

[Jessica Merriman]

Sometimes it has to be done girl.

You still want us I hope? 

[♥︎ SarahD ♥︎]

Aww hun, that really sucks to hear   It goes without saying that you'll always have friends here though, so don't ever feel alone   if you need a chat any time, my inbox is always open ♥︎*Hugs*♥︎

[Auroramarianna]

Sometimes it has to be done girl.

You still want us I hope? 

Awww! Of course I do!! You guys have been here for me everytime I needed, it's only natutal for me to love this small but amazing community

Sarah: thank you soooooo much

[Jessica Merriman]

Awww! Of course I do!! You guys have been here for me everytime I needed, it's only natutal for me to love this small but amazing community

OK, I am happy again!! 

I would so miss you girl! 

[stephaniec]

sometimes you just out grow people. I had to do that because I needed to go in a different direction

[Julia-Madrid]

Aurora, since you and I chat a lot, I understand where you're coming from.

I am impressed by your strength and resolve to be your own person and move on from those who are keeping you back.  I am also pleased by how clearly you want to earn that money to get your Girl underway.

At the same time, a bit of me wants to say "woah girlfriend, don't be so radical about cutting off your friends to start a new life" but then I remember that I did something similar once, although maybe not quite so much. 

Reinventing yourself is not a bad thing sometimes, and I think the key is to be honest to yourself and to the people around you, and to BE YOURSELF.

You are an inspiration to all young transwomen for how you want to take control of your life.  Attagirl!

Hugs
J/A

[Auroramarianna]

Julia, thank you so much, you have been sooo kind to me, always listening to me and that's a huge compliment I'm not sure fits but thank you

It may seem like a radical decision, but it really isn't. If I stop talking to them, they'll stop talking to me. I hold on to meaningless relationships. Unfortunately it really is that simple. It hurts, a lot. but for me to move on I must accept for what it is so I can heal. and then move on to my life. It's easier said than done, but I'm trying.

[RosieD]

Congratulations on making the decision, it's a brave thing to have done. I have completely moved out and moved on 4 times so far. I am hoping I won't need to do it again.  If my experience is anything like representative then it will take a couple of years to get yourself properly settled again but it's well worth the effort sometimes.

Best of luck!
Rosie

[Lady_Oracle]

Hey Aurora! I think that's a wise decision honestly! I did the same thing and it's one of the best decisions I have ever made.

[Auroramarianna]

Thank you everyone

Honestly I'm still afraid. But it's not me being afraid that will change what it is. If I don't talk to these people, I swear they'll stop talking to me...So, there isn't much I can do. I can choose to accept or not. But for me to move on, I must accept.

As far as other people, I don't know. I had been texting this guy, but lately haven't. He's in college and I am not which certainly doesn't help. He's so interesting and hot, I wish I could get to know him better. We used to have lunch together, sometimes just the two of us... So yeah. I should probably forget any chance of us hanging out and just join the youth group I was talking about. It seems like a wonderful idea for me to meet people and have a support network. I have zero support network at the moment. Maybe not, cause I talk to this girl who knows and claims she's supportive but we basically never hang out and she didn't invite me to her birthday party and didn't wish me a happy birthday so...Yeah. Not at all that supportive. I am 18, I have never dated either but I'm sure that if given the opportunity, I'd be a huge slut... Ohmygod whatwhat did I just say, LOLJK

But yea, I'm not going talk to any of them anymore. I read this quote yesterday and I think it perfectly fits my situation: "If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it. So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay."

[suzifrommd]

Good luck Aurora. You'll always have us. 

[Stephe]

I have to accept that they don't want me in their lives like in the past and stop holding to nothing amd just move on.

Is this something they have told you or are you assuming they won't accept this change?

In my transition I lost exactly -one- close friend and it was based on his extreme homophobia. He literally was FREAKED out that someone might thing he was gay if they knew we were friends. He was ugly, so there wasn't a chance of that happening

I'm not real sure what learning to cook has to do with anything though....

[Apple]

I have left most of my acquaintances behind when I transitioned. There were two reasons. First, my whole life before transition felt like being a spy trying to infilter a foreign country. It was not me who was acquainted with them, it was the person I played. So they never really knew me and I didn't really what it would feel like to be in their company. Therefore leaving them was similar to leaving a person you have chatted with for a few minutes at the grocery store.

The second reason applies especially to men. Despite respecting me and making effort to use the right pronouns (a much more pronounced problem in my language than in English), almost none of the really "got it". In the heat of a discussion, the slip back and talk to me as to a man. I just don't need that.

But going back to the first reason, there are people who are able to "live" the life before transition to some degree, and thus their "friends" from before transition can be true friends. Than the decision is not so clear anymore.