Dilate

[bethanyjadefowell]

I am having trouble dilating. I push it in, but after about 3 inches, it seams to hit something. It's the small one I am using. The guy who did my SRS, was able to push it in so there was only 4 inches showing. What I'm I doung wrong?

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Bethany,

It's either the scar tissue or the PC muscle. Take your time moving past whatever you've "hit" , relax as much as you can. It will pass this point without pain. Review the notes/ instructions you were given for this technique, it will soon become easier as time, practise and frequency increase.

Ensure you have enough lubrication both vaginally and on the dilator. If necessary to move past this point a slight twisting back and forth motion ( like trying a key in a sticky lock) may help.

Keep in touch

Huggs
Catherine

[bethanyjadefowell]

So when it hits, do I push really hard? I do that but still won't go in.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Bethany,

I suspect this may be the PC muscle you're trying to get past. (You may experience a muscular tension type sensation/pain) If that's the case, relax. Do breathing exercises / focussed meditation, whatever it takes to relax your pelvic area, and just apply a constant pressure on the dilator. Don't force it. Just wait for the muscle to relax ( it's natural for this muscle to resist penetration) it may initially take 10+ minutes for this point to be passed, but with more practice and higher frequency it will get easier.  (how many times per day were you instructed to dilate ?)
On average it takes me 3-6 minutes to reach depth, and I'm 16 months post.

Huggs
Catherine

[PinkCloud]

I wondered about this as well. My surgeon didn't tell me the depth. I got to 10cm the first time, before hitting something and it hurt. I get further instructions soon, but I am highly curious as well.

How do you know when you reached the end / max. depth?

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi PinkCloud,

How do you know when you reached the end / max. depth?

Generally speaking, once you have reached your full depth, when you apply further, light, pressure, you should see the Labia's being drawn into the vulva by that additional tension.

Further; as a general rule of thumb. It's your body, it's your responsibility. Don't wait to be told whats happened(ing) ASK what needs to be done and WHY. Whatever a Doctor/ Health Provider does to you, ask why and what result did they get.
You aren't just a lump of meat. You are intelligent, and its your body, YOU need to know.

Huggs
Catherine

[mrs izzy]

As said I would agree it's the PC muscle.

Need to relax, keep your legs not at a too far angle. Wider they are the more tension the PC muscle will tighten.

Make sure you have your angle about straight with the bed at that point.

You need to learn to relax your muscles down there, it takes consideration at first and soon you will be able to control that muscle.

Zen.

[suzifrommd]

I'm having the same thing (4 months post-op). The canal narrows at a certain point, and the dilator can get hung up on the boundary. I need to move it round a bit to get it past that spot.

[Jenna Marie]

If you're immediately post-op, swelling can make some depth seem to disappear temporarily.

DO NOT push too hard; you risk tearing the vaginal wall and even causing a fistula, which is very very bad. Gently rotate the dilator a little and press lightly, and relax as much as you can, but if you can't get past that point, you'll have to try again another time. It's probably the PC muscle, but in your case with only 4" of depth to start with... there's a possibility that you're as deep as you can get for now, and again, pressing too hard against the end is dangerous. If you're still having problems, contact the surgeon and ask.

I wish I could explain how I know when I've hit bottom, but the truth is, it took doing it a few times and just recognizing the sensation thereafter.

[PinkCloud]

Hi PinkCloud,
Generally speaking, once you have reached your full depth, when you apply further, light, pressure, you should see the Labia's being drawn into the vulva by that additional tension.

Huggs
Catherine

Interesting...  but I guess that is the case being post-op for a while? because with any insertion I see the labia being pulled in. Currently (14 days post-op) I can reach 3.2cm diameter and 13.5cm in length. If I push further it gives a sharp pain. I think my neo vag will be about 14cm depth. Which I am happy with! I wonder what happens when I start to dilate wider/bigger... I might want a bigger diameter, a depth of 14cm seems to fine and in the cis-female range when fully aroused.

[Jenna Marie]

Brassard at least says you can always gain width by using bigger dilators, up to the limitations of the pelvis, whereas depth can be lost permanently. So I'd assume that you should be able to add width eventually, unless your surgeon used a very different technique or something.

(Brassard also gives us the Soul Source set, where the biggest dilator is 38 mm diameter.)

[Brasileira]

Hi everybody!  well I think maybe it is a hard time for you but I guess soon all will be good    soon I will also be doing my dilatation maybe February,  sorry to bother but I would like to make a question  to SAMANTHA 007, I know we don't know each other but I read a lot here and saw lots of post where you where, and knowing a bit about you by what you post here, so my doctor will make penile inversion, and I know you also did it may I ask how do feel     
about the cosmetic  result and depth, when the doctor explained to me what he was going to do it sounded very simple and any improvement in his technic,  I feel a bit insecure about him, please can you answer me? I tried to send you a message but didn't work.

[Vicky]

I am slightly concerned that you MAY be inserting the dilator at the wrong angle, and as the others have suggested, hanging up on either the muscle or diving into the opposing wall of your vagina.  Your doctor or his staff should have given you an illustration of the angle at which to insert it.  You have to "duck under a bridge" at one point when you are fairly new to the job.  It is not a straight shot, and you have to "pry" your way at one point.  When you get to the sticking point, either raise or lower the outside end of it just a bit, you can also get it as far as it will go, back it out and put more lube on the end of the dilator and then try that out again.  I had the curved tip Soul Source boys, and even they do a nice job of rotating if you are gentle.  I had to be very careful of getting them in at first, but with practice you learn to maneuver them in just fine.  Put it in too fast and too dry, and you end up with some painful pinches.   

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi PinkCloud,

Interesting...  but I guess that is the case being post-op for a while?

No, not really. That's what I was taught once the packing was removed. Yes, when yo insert your dilator, part of the vulva is drawn in, it does become much mor noticeable once you reach full depth, in much the same way as a glove will stretch once your finger is fully inserted into the finger stall.

because  I wonder what happens when I start to dilate wider/bigger... I might want a bigger diameter, a depth of 14cm seems to fine and in the cis-female range when fully aroused.

The wider you go in dilators, the less depth you reach. After all it is a given volumetric space. Just think of a balloon. It can be either short and fat, or long and thin. Your surgeon should be advising you on when and what size you should be progressively using depending on your sexual needs (either coitus or non coitus.)

Huggs
Catherine

[Brasileira]

Ok  thank you Samantha!

[Monkeymel]

In my case there was a painful point about 4.5" in which was irritated granulation. At week 7 i had a silver nitrate shot (from my gyno) and it has been good since. However it never stopped insertion.

One area where insertion was painful was at 5.5" through to 6". The surgeon had gone deeper into another muscle wall which was close to my bowel. To get Chet #1 (soul source p0) into the "muscle" wall was not comfortable and caused real irritation. I had to arch my back to allow the dilator in, and play until the muscle relaxed. I could then feel my bowel behind it as pressure onto the dilator. Needless to say over time i decided this is not my future and decreased depth to 5.5" with Chet #4 (soul source #2) which slides easily. And is comfortable enough that i have fallen asleep.

Depth is NOT everything, being comfortable with your anatomy is much more important.

Which diameter dilators do you have? It would be good to work through them to find comfortable positions. And relax. Work with the surgeons recommendations... Chettawut's can be found on line. But after week 3-4 is essentially - smallest for 10 minutes, next size for 20 min, next size for 30 min.

Ultimately you will find your own natural program to fit into your day. In my case morning and evening it is 10-15 min chet #2, 10-15 min chet #3, 30 min chet #4. As the diameter increases you will have to reduce depth slightly. When you go to a new diameter it must not go to full depth at the start. Instead introduce it slowly for 5min at a comfortable depth. And keep repeating for a few days / week. Then slowly as you relax you will notice the depth and duration increases, ideally without bleeding.

Always start with a small diameter dilator especially in the first 6 months as the muscles will want to clamp down during the day. This will help you relax as they feel the presence of the rigid dilator inside. Soft dildo's will not provide enough resistance for this.. That is why we have rigid ones.

Good luck

[Dread_Faery]

When I dilate I gently wiggle the dilator in a stirring motion, not do much that it's agony but enough to help things relax.

[PinkCloud]

Not sure why I had not thought about it, but to measure depth is easy. I used a catheter hard plastic tube (SpeediCath), which I use to douche, and it measured 5 inches of depth. I am happy with that. Diameter: I currently got to 1.6 inch. Barely two weeks after SRS. I intend to maintain these figures. I rather have good diameter than extra depth. But I do notice that the diameter becomes less the deeper I go. At 3.5 inches I cannot fit 1.6 inches of width anymore. Maybe that needs some work...?

[Jenna Marie]

Hanazono : That's how all vaginas work; it's a physics thing. The more it stretches out to accommodate width, the less skin surface area is left for depth, and vice versa.

Personally, I think the reason cis women don't talk about this much is a) they don't bother to measure depth very often compared to those of us who had it installed later and b) it's rare to run across a guy as thick as the bigger dilators! (But my wife experimented with my actual dilators and found the same thing - even when aroused, bigger diameter = less depth. It's just that it's not that noticeable when there's a living penis involved and nobody's whipping out the measuring tape during the act, you know?)

[bethanyjadefowell]

Reason why I can't dilate is because the right side is swollen and hard. Other side is doing really well and soft. My GP has put me on tablets for the swelling. I had swelling on the right when in hospital, but this was just thought of as normal swelling after the op. Also, because of the swelling I can't wee fully.. If it's no better by Thursday, my GP will send me to hospital before it closes up.