From Zero to Top Speed....

[Kamiki]

A very interesting post to be my first. I thought I would post an introduction then I realized this is what is most on my mind.

How fast is too fast? This question has plagued my mind for the last week.

Some background on me.



I have been full time for 13 years. HRT self medicated for 10 of those after moving away from my Doctor and losing my letter (add the fact my Therapist was hard as heck to get replacement letters done I just went self med). Stealth the entire time. About 90% of my friends have no idea. Only a couple do, one who has a trans mother, and one who is trans as well as a couple people around them are the only ones who know.

Recently I began again with a normal Doc and will be on monitored meds in a week or so. But when I got back with my Doc things went from back on track to pure whirlwind.

Within a week I have gotten both my PHD and Master level letters (hurray for ICATH). I am looking at Breast Aug for December (Mangubat, consult on Monday), FFS around March/April (consulting with Spiegel and Ousterhout), GRS Consult in Feb (Bowers), GRS to follow 6 months or so later (Bowers).

I went from 0 mph on my track to full bore, I literally expect the next year to be surgical recovery after surgical recovery. I should be done with implant healing around the time I consult for GRS, then a month later it is FFS. After 5 months of FFS healing I am in for GRS....

Is it too fast? Hell I do not know, but I can say I am about as happy as I have ever been.

I saved my arse off to be able to do this. I can literally pay for all the surgeries out of pocket if needed but am looking into scooping up Medicare level Obamacare since it can now cover GRS.

I am coming close to finishing a process I began when I was 22. Having started hormones at 23 I am still surprised at how much FFS I feel I need.

Cheers,
Kamiki

PS- I chose a nym that I do not use anywhere else. Part of being stealth is not having my posts here link to my ident. I am sorry for that distance, but it is part of choosing to live stealth.

[MelissaAnn]

Kamiki

First let me start out by saying welcome to Susan's place. you will find many wonderful people on these forums. I'm glad that you are seeing a doctor now because self medicating is never good. You've been at this for a long time now so I think any thing is to fast. What really matters is that you are comfortable with what you doing. Everybody has there own pace. I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey and safe travels. My the angles always be watching over you.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

[Shantel]

Welcome Kamiki,
             I started out at warp speed twenty plus years ago and had a personal epiphany within a few weeks following my pre-op consultation with Marcie Bowers and brought it to a screeching halt. Now look where I landed and I've found my happy place as non-binary. I don't wish to extinguish anyone's fire here as I know how driven we can be and how important it is, but we always advise folks here to take it slowly and make each move deliberately after some internal examination of the pros and cons of the next step. I too self medicated at one point and gave myself a nasty case of DVT because I was in a hurry and did a complete end run around the Benjamin Standards and felt that my life would end if I didn't get this thing done right away. You will get a lot of good input here from others on this I'm sure Kamiki, my best to you dear and hope we will be friends!

[Kamiki]

Thank you both for the warm welcome.

Thankfully I stayed on the same dosage I was on and followed my doctors plans for increases etc.

I had a good doc who let me know what they were planning with me.

Thankfully, this is not something I have "not" thought about.

It has been on my mind every single day living full time for the last 13 years.  I am just shocked I went from "accepting I would be stuck in a non binary state" (like how you put that) to knowing I could be who I wanted to be, who I see myself as.

Long ago, about 8 years, I began dreaming of myself as female.

It sucks to wake as male every morning. Regardless of how I identify I still have that disgusting penis (not a fan) and my face still bears too many artifacts of male pubescence.

So to be honest I am as happy as my future clam. But It does seem a whirlwind.

Kami

[Shantel]

Thank you both for the warm welcome.

Thankfully I stayed on the same dosage I was on and followed my doctors plans for increases etc.

I had a good doc who let me know what they were planning with me.

Thankfully, this is not something I have "not" thought about.

It has been on my mind every single day living full time for the last 13 years.  I am just shocked I went from "accepting I would be stuck in a non binary state" (like how you put that) to knowing I could be who I wanted to be, who I see myself as.

Long ago, about 8 years, I began dreaming of myself as female.

It sucks to wake as male every morning. Regardless of how I identify I still have that disgusting penis (not a fan) and my face still bears too many artifacts of male pubescence.

So to be honest I am as happy as my future clam. But It does seem a whirlwind.

Kami

Hang in there Kami, we're all different and unique here sweetie so no-one can make decisions for you, that's your own domain and it is indeed sacred and I respect that!

[MelissaAnn]

Just a quick follow up question for you. Are you on any kind of T blockers? I didn't see you mention that.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Kamiki,

In answer to your question. A lot depends on your mental preparedness, stamina, recovery rate, pain threshold and actual surgical outcomes. FFS is major surgery with long term recovery path, as is GCS. Usually for each about 12+ months for full feeling sensation to return.

It will take considerable mental energy, stamina and preparation to embrace these surgeries. Let alone the physical preparation and recovery. So only you can really answer that question.

Just an observation. I'd be surprised Dr Bowers has only a 6 month wait list. She normally books 12 months in advance due to her schedules. They may have changed.

Huggs
Catherine

[Kamiki]

Just a quick follow up question for you. Are you on any kind of T blockers? I didn't see you mention that.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

Yes I am. I consider your T Blocker to be part of your hormonal regiment. The only thing I have not done is add progesterone as I did not want to add things I had no plan for.


Spiorolactone
and Estrofem


Previously Spironolactone
and DelEstrogen Injectible


Previously Spironolactone
and Premarin


Doc moved me from Premarin to shots, I continued shots self medicated (one major online chemist carries estrogen ampoules). But after years of jabbing my thighs (where I was taught to give it) I started to note the scar tissue hurting, so I went back to pills.


Kami

[Kamiki]

Hi Kamiki,

In answer to your question. A lot depends on your mental preparedness, stamina, recovery rate, pain threshold and actual surgical outcomes. FFS is major surgery with long term recovery path, as is GCS. Usually for each about 12+ months for full feeling sensation to return.

It will take considerable mental energy, stamina and preparation to embrace these surgeries. Let alone the physical preparation and recovery. So only you can really answer that question.

Just an observation. I'd be surprised Dr Bowers has only a 6 month wait list. She normally books 12 months in advance due to re schedules. They may have changed.

Huggs
Catherine

Talking with her office yesterday (for paperwork) I was told to expect 6 months or so after a wait til Feb for consult.

McGinn has I think alleviated some of Bowers load (some prefer her mannerism, some prefer her surgical background, some prefer her location, and both use the same technique and are close).

I have a consult with McGinn as well, but do not expect to jive with an overt A type. A types tend to rub me wrong.

As for recovery times. I know I am going to be cutting it close. If need  be I can push GRS back. Also my FFS may be done in two stages anyways. I may do forehead/nose/brows and then coome back to do Jaw/chin IF I still feel it necessary once I get rid of the things I dislike most about my face.

I tend to be a swift  healer. Nearly cut my thumb off this last year and am already (5 months out) pretty much recovered from the bone and muscle damage and only a tiny bit of sensation lost. I never take ill (last cold was over 5 years ago). Thank goodness  my auto immune response and recovery/healing times are one of those things about my body that I simply love.


Kami