Coming Out of the Closet by "accident"

[suzannemarie]

I am going on trip out of town for a week and instead of hiding my girl clothes and makeup..i was considering to leave them out in the open to see if she finds them...hoping to spur on a conversation... it's juvenile I know but it's away to get the ball rolling as she has caught be before in my teen years...

[ImagineKate]

She as in your mom?

[MelissaAnn]

Why? This could lead to more trouble than your ready for. Maybe you see a therapist whom would be able to help guide you through the coming out process. It's always good to have a sounding board. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. My the angles always be looking upon you and guiding you on your journey.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

[Marcia]

I would say it depends on how the reaction was when the clothes were found before. In the end only you know how it could go and if it is a good idea or not.

[LivingTheDream]

I actually sort of like the idea. I've thought about it too. I mean the hardest part for me is bring it up, getting a conversation like this started. Once it's started, it's not all that hard for me to talk about. I guess that is helped by that fact that I've talked about it a quite a bit now with others and thought about it endlessly, so I already generally know what I will say and such.

[Mark3]

When I first knew of my gender issues, I bought some jewelry with the trans triangle in the pendants, but only wore them on neckless's under my shirt..

I wanted to talk to my wife about trans stuff, but chickened out at first..

So I started leaving my jewelry out on the kitchen counter at night..
Sure enough it started the ball rolling, and everything she already seemed to know anyway, so I was scared for nothing it seems...
Sounds like you have a similar idea..

[Brenda E]

It's by no means an unusual idea.  I think it's more common than people realize; whenever I read one of those "oh no I left my laptop open at a transgender web site and my wife/husband/mom/dad/whoever saw it by accident" kind of scenarios, I'm always thinking that it was really far more accidentally-on-purpose than a legit accident.

But honestly, if you're going to do something as overt as leaving your girl stuff out for her to find, then you know the outcome - a conversation about it.  So why not just start the conversation yourself without the hassle of leaving clothes around?

Glad you're addressing this head on though.  Once it's out in the open for good, life gets so much better.

[suzannemarie]

it's cowardly i admit but it wouldn`t be a total surprise for her...

[Jill F]

I was very direct with my wife when I came out to her because I wanted to be in complete control of the situation, address all questions/answers and be there to hold her hand when she broke down.

It's hard to say how your family members will react, but for me, I knew it was best I was there instead of letting my wife stew in it alone and letting her mind wander.

My $.02

[Brenda E]

it's cowardly i admit but it wouldn`t be a total surprise for her...

I wouldn't call it cowardly.  It's bold, and if that's what it takes to start the conversation, then it's to be encouraged.  Nothing timid about that.  I broke the news to my mom indirectly too, but it led to one of the best, oddest, most memorable and happiest conversations of my entire life.