Hey there.
I guess you could say I'm new to all of this. I'm still trying to figure myself out, ya know? Growing up I was extremely sheltered, and I didn't even know what gay was until I was probably 13 or 14. I went years believing I was a lesbian after I found out. That was until when I was 19 I came across a FTM video on youtube. It was kind of then when I was like, "OH. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW." However...I never really did much about it. I had a few conversations with some of my close friends about it, but I could never really accept it. I was in denial city, 100%. I hope that doesn't offend anyone! Around March of this year I had a break down and I got really depressed and my anxiety shot through the roof. I had so much body dysphoria and so much self hatred that I'm really not even sure how I made it through. Then I met a girl and I was able to distract myself with her enough to say "well, she loves this version of me and I love her so I can handle this." I made it through that without too many issues. I just didn't look in mirrors and took happiness from the fact that she didn't care that I didn't wear make up or shaved my legs. However, now that she's no longer a part of my life I no longer have anything to distract myself and the depression and dysphoria are coming back full force. I figure it's time I stop denying whatever this is and go see a gender therapist.
So I guess a little about me! I'm a 22 year old college student studying to be in the medical field. I live at home with my parents, my two cats and my dog. I love reading, surfing the web and cuddles.
I love talking to new people so feel free to chat with me
You can call me Josh.
