Hey there.

I guess you could say I'm new to all of this. I'm still trying to figure myself out, ya know? Growing up I was extremely sheltered, and I didn't even know what gay was until I was probably 13 or 14. I went years believing I was a lesbian after I found out. That was until when I was 19 I came across a FTM video on youtube. It was kind of then when I was like, "OH. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW." However...I never really did much about it. I had a few conversations with some of my close friends about it, but I could never really accept it. I was in denial city, 100%. I hope that doesn't offend anyone! Around March of this year I had a break down and I got really depressed and my anxiety shot through the roof. I had so much body dysphoria and so much self hatred that I'm really not even sure how I made it through. Then I met a girl and I was able to distract myself with her enough to say "well, she loves this version of me and I love her so I can handle this." I made it through that without too many issues. I just didn't look in mirrors and took happiness from the fact that she didn't care that I didn't wear make up or shaved my legs. However, now that she's no longer a part of my life I no longer have anything to distract myself and the depression and dysphoria are coming back full force. I figure it's time I stop denying whatever this is and go see a gender therapist.

So I guess a little about me! I'm a 22 year old college student studying to be in the medical field. I live at home with my parents, my two cats and my dog. I love reading, surfing the web and cuddles.

I love talking to new people so feel free to chat with me  You can call me Josh.

Hi JoshD, welcome to Susan's Place!

Please feel free to look around. This site is a vast source of information that will help you along the way and a great place to meet new friends.

In the meantime, as a new member, please review the following:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
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All the best, and see you around the forums!
~Jill

Read

Thanks for your help!

Hello and welcome! This place is amazing; you'll learn so much and meet tons of awesome people who will help you feel like you can totally go through with this. I can relate to you being in denial up until this point.  It was about 3 months ago when I went back to identifying as genderqueer after a long period of "oh that was just a phase," and it eventually led me...here, to a point where I now identify as an androgynous FTM. I even had an FTM friend in high school, and didn't realize that I was also one until a few weeks ago.

Hello Josh and welcome to Susan's. Self acceptance will lead to self discovery. I'm happy that you found the site.

Hi Josh,

Welcome to our little family. Over 14700 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother.


Janet  )O(

Thanks everyone for making me feel so welcomed! I was pretty nervous even making my intro post, but now that I've read through some of the forums and seen how friendly of a community this is, I'm not so nervous

Hi Josh, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from the Boston area. Glad you found the site, see you around!

Hugs, Devlyn