The song remains the same.

[Dierdre Lenore]

   Lately I've been going REALLY headstrong towards just presenting myself as I see fit. To the store, out to eat, anywhere that suits my fancy. This has been an awesome time in my life to let Pansy roam free. Even so far as using female restrooms when appropriate! 
   But alas here I am again completely mentally consumed by this unexplainable condition to the point where I start losing focus, find myself shopping online for various articles of clothing, trolling the forums, facebook etc. This used to happen more violently when I was in an unsupportave marriage, but now I am fully supported with no questions asked, the worst thing my GF has to say is that I take too long to get ready!
   So, when does this monster subside and just let my brain just be ok? I have no idea, can such a thing be even fathomable, or am I doomed to repeat this mental cycle that can only remind me the cycle a woman endures every so often?
   I know there are no real answers to these questions, but perhaps the rant will help. I really appreciate this site and the support given to let me express, at least in writing my bare, raw, and sometimes confusing feelings...

Pansy

[Katy]

You will likely find more questions than answers in this post.  Perhaps some find their quest for feminine expression in a gradual and comfortable rate of ascendency, but peaks and valleys have been my experience.  Many times the heady mountaintop experience is followed almost immediately by the depths of despair.  I don't think I am alone in this.  I have read too many posts that seem to indicate that we are on a roller coaster ride.  Even a glimpse in the mirror can cause one to plummet rapidly.  I suppose I long for an equilibrium of sorts, but thus far it has proven elusive.  Perhaps the lot in life for some, or maybe many, or maybe even most cross dressers is a bumpy ride. 

[Dierdre Lenore]

I agree with all that Katy, sometimes I just need to vent all this out in a place where there is no judgement, no confusion no random questioning. There have always been ebbs and flows and always will be. Either way I look at it I am far less anxious and genuinely happier than I have EVER been. Thanx for the reply, take care!
Pansy

[Dierdre Lenore]

And with all this being said, the girl behind the counter at the gas station said " I really like the color of your nail polish!" Bert gave a smile and replied thank you!
Pansy

[Katy]

"Less anxious and genuinely happier " has the ring of mission accomplished about it.  Congrats.  Long may it continue.

[Gina Taylor]

You will likely find more questions than answers in this post.  Perhaps some find their quest for feminine expression in a gradual and comfortable rate of ascendency, but peaks and valleys have been my experience.  Many times the heady mountaintop experience is followed almost immediately by the depths of despair.  I don't think I am alone in this.  I have read too many posts that seem to indicate that we are on a roller coaster ride.  Even a glimpse in the mirror can cause one to plummet rapidly.  I suppose I long for an equilibrium of sorts, but thus far it has proven elusive.  Perhaps the lot in life for some, or maybe many, or maybe even most cross dressers is a bumpy ride.

Y'know Katy, I really like your thoughts here. Right now I'm trying to get off that roller coaster and trying to get onto some smoother ride in my life and after reading the posts by Pansy in this thread, I'm gonna be striving for  more of his attitude. Go Pansy!!!