Sometimes the answers we seek find us instead of us finding them. That's how it happened with my middle name.
I work at an urban farm/community garden, and this flower popped up in one of the beds. I am very familiar with the common "weeds" so I didn't pick it, best to let it grow and ID it. Well it did grow, and it produced the most beautiful pink flowers! I'm so glad I let that weed grow
The old name of the flower is Althea, which means "to heal"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcea Althea is also the name of an excellent song, with a wonderful message in the lyrics
Enough about me, here's some info about seeds.
While some seeds require light to germinate, many seeds require darkness. When life deals us darkness, take it as an opportunity to be like the seed.
For me, the hardest times of my life were where I made the most progress looking inside myself, reorganizing thought patterns as well as remembering to love myself. The winter of 2012-2013 was very very dark for me. I was all alone, and I cried so many tears. I thought I would never make it out, and I often considered suicide.
I made plans to move across country. I planned to be homeless and to try and find an intentional community/commune where I could try to work for food.
I never took the flight. I saw much pain in my mother, and stayed back to help her. At the time, I had not came out to any of my family. In the spring of 2013 I came out to my family. All the guilt and sadness and feelings that I could not go on vanished. They were replaced with hope. My relationship with my family grew deeper. Everything got better.
Someone posted earlier that we are all here for a reason. This is so true, but let's be clear... we're all here for many different reasons. I helped my mother begin to get over her abusive father, but that isn't all I'm here for. Now that I'm tuned in, I'm just getting started.
It's pretty obvious that you also have much work ahead of you on this planet. Many people on susans, like you and I have an extraordinary ability to feel things. Our planet needs people like us to help it heal. It needs people like us to wake up the zombies who roam around, endlessly consuming and polluting the planet. Unfortunately us feelers really feel the sadness in our dark times. But... take it for face value: Things stink right now, but in the near future, you will know that you made it trough the dark days, and you came out strong. Consider this part of your life training.
I hope you are able to relate to my ramblings. Feel free to PM me whenever you need to talk one-on-one with a friend. I also go on the susans chat every now and then. Whatever you do, know that you are not alone, and we have much love for you
