Hey all, I thought I would share some positive stuff to help remind people transition can be great. Stressful and consuming, yes... but the absolute best thing I have ever done.
So transition is going well.
I have been full time for over two months and am passing without any problems. I even had a cute lesbian hit on me at a queer club, which as a lesbian identified woman I take as the ultimate pass. Gotta be happy with that, right? I am also being treated very differently by guys... which is nice. A waste of time for them... but nice anyway
I think I am wandering a little along the Kinsey scale... so I probably will end up closer to pansexual if this keeps up at the pace I am currently shifting. No worries, I take everything transition brings. I ditched most of my old male clothes (which admittedly looked like a butch lesbians wardrobe), and no longer wear anything but female clothes. My wardrobe is getting manageable, I started with pure blacks and worked outwards from there, introducing colors bit by bit. I no longer feel nervous using female toilets. (queues aside, they are SO much better!) I have my first swimsuit now, so that is my next challenge.
I think the DES child condition has given me a huge head start in HRT transition... lifelong low T perhaps? I did have a very slow puberty and many of my features where atypical for a boy. Hips, for example, are quite prominent, giving me a pear shape now which I adore. I have a full B cup and by the feel of things, they have another growth spurt in mind. My collarbones are showing now, and my arms are thin and dainty already. I am really feeling the strength loss- and am unable to cart my laptop around like I used to. Word of warning... loosen all your jars before HRT.
My hair is now a long bob, and a warm copper. I am going to go a little crazy with color soon... probably purple dipped ends or something. I am a freaking lesbian video games artist, of course I can dye my hair crazy colors! My pierced ears are healed now, and my wife bought me my first dangly earrings. That is a reward for next week! I can do everyday make up with no fuss now, but eyeliner still vexes me. I also need to practice the smokey looks I love for nights out. I am planning on returning to martial arts training after a scary night in Melbourne- I used to be very proficient, but that was with my old body many years ago. I have to relearn with this one.
My family has been 100% accepting. My partner and I are having our first child in march. Her family are 100% accepting, and have met real me now.
I came out to my whole industry last week at a conference during a lecture I did on women in games. I have had nothing but support and approval so far, and am now helping several trans or gender questioning young game devs on their way, and a couple of companies have approached me about doing LGBTIQ talks at their offices, as well as reviewing their HR and toilet policies. It was amazing to not only be accepted, but make a difference to young peoples lives by standing up and saying proudly I am intersex, I am trans and I, and many like me, are successful in this field.
Stress and suicidal thoughts are a problem. They keep coming back in waves, and I have to really work at conquering them. I have a safety number and some friends to call on if it becomes too much, but it seems under control. I feel very detached from the suicidal thoughts... but they are deafening when they come- so I am not taking any chances.
So all in all, things are going well. It is a rollercoaster, but I am having mostly fun.
Signing out for now.
-E
