I'm starting to feel like too much emphasis is placed on hormones

[Lauren1]

HRT is great, we all know it. And its never been easier to get HRT with "informed consent", online pharmacies, and overall better awareness.  But I think too many people are placing too much emphasis on getting HRT ASAP for passability

In my experience and everything I've seen its never the HRT that makes a person pass. Its the grooming, the hair, the facial hair removal, and the confidence.  Its the voice. Its the way you move. Its the make up skills. I know it can alleviate dysphoria in many but I don't think HRT is as magical as people are told it is. And on other forums I'm seeing people waiting months and months on hormones and questioning why they don't pass. Surely hormones help but its like 20% of what is needed overall.

Like... if I hadn't stated HRT a year ago, and still got hair removal, the hair cut I have, the voice I now have, the make up abilities I now have... I feel like I'd pass just as well even without the facial softening. I dunno.

Maybe I'm being insane. But spend some time on ->-bleeped-<- and you'll understand what I'm saying.  That the current culture places too much emphasis on  HRT.

[Ms Grace]

You've got a good point. HRT is part of the puzzle, not the whole picture.

[Skeptoid]

I've known enough girls in my life who did as few womanly things as they could manage and still everyone knew they were female. That's what I want for myself, granted I don't want to avoid womanly things like the plague.

[kelly_aus]

Hormones did little to aid my passing. Confidence, attitude and some minor changes in presentation did more for me.

Could I have done it without hormones? Probably.

[Seras]

Meh, I look better now sans makeup than I did before with IMO, after just 10 months of E and 6 on an AA.
I know I wouldn't have wanted to go a single year longer without HRT than I did. Aging on T sucks, don't get on the HRT and you are going to end up like King Canute.

Really though, everything is important.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Yes you are right,  because i know a few who had that idear and later when it seemed to not work they were very depressed  and were not nice to know,
it becomes a fantasy or the , to be like the 16 year old sexy looking young girl , plus the wonder drug to change ones look  and other details  false belive from some who should know better.

Im different my own hormones did far more for my body than any added synthic meds drugs

well over 20 years ago , and still doing little things  as id say quite lovely ,

I sure wont say im pretty or sexy or beautifull though my body is just a normal body shape with in how a female should look and take into account my age ,at 67,   though my weight height and size is good , i did not place any false idears that my body would change with added meds ,

im just one of those fortunate ones who,s body worked well for myself and get this over time,some 15 years,  and more so the last 4,

Mind you i looked after my self for 57 years the first 10 of cause dont count.  and this to me was very importaint because i knew i would live as a normal female / woman  , and do .

so do i need added hormones yes to keep my body in a good state of health , though if i had to stop having those meds would i still be okay , knowing my body , my body would have to take up that lose .

I will comment on passability. that was not a part of my thinking or was from age 10, .

My passabiltity comes from ...NOT.... my looks...... its about my attitude demeanor and how i interact with others in being confident selfworth and confidence in my self for who i am,

The other importaint detail is how im accepted if my acceptance was based on how pretty or beautifull i am then i would not be accepted ,its whats with in my beauty comes from who  i am or what makes me who i am ,,

with in our groups im asked to take part and put incharge of others and have responcibilty and i come with a enthusiasm and it shows in what i do , allso when you grow into your self  theres many changes that meds cant do,    you just have to grow. to be your self,

...noeleena...

[Jenna Marie]

I think it depends on the person, too. I don't discount voice, mannerisms, and hair in my ability to blend in... but personally, I wanted to be able to be taken for a woman in jeans and a T-shirt with zero makeup and no frills. That's not everyone's goal, but it was mine; I'm lazy. HRT was absolutely necessary for that (which I know, since I was certainly trying at times early in my HRT, complete with groomed eyebrows and feminine voice and body language). I also have had the experience of being unable to get people to believe my "before" photos are really me, even when I had the same distinctive mid-back-length hair back then.

[sam79]

I'm not sure what ->-bleeped-<- is, but HRT is a key piece to transitioning. Or even just key sometimes for alleviating disphoria.

All of this is only in the context of me, but HRT was the difference between my former male skin and my much smoother female skin. HRT was the difference between balding and a full head of hair. HRT was the difference in giving me a basic female figure and appearance. HRT was the difference in my mind being able to cope with the hormones going through it.

Sounds pretty magical to me.

[Emily1996]

I agree about the ability to pass as a woman, I feel like I might be able to pass like this and the picture on my avatar was literally one week of HRT... and even right now I look the same because it's only been 2 months and no facial changes... But I need to be on HRT asap, right now I think I would need to stop because of my transphobic family, and it's not just the physical changes, it's the psychological changes too, and I'm not depressed when I'm taking HRT, and I am feeling more hopeful about my future and I feel like it's just because of HRT, because prior to HRT I was very depressed, and without it I would feel the same way as before.

[MelissaAnn]

Do I think HRT is some sort of magic pills, absolutely not. Does it make a difference in passability in some cases, yes, I think it's a matter of how long you have been living with the poison of testosterone running through your veins, such as myself. I started my transition at the age of 50. So I do need the HRT to help change my skin and my body hair to help me to be able to pass. Now I do agree that there are a lot of little changes that need to be made, such as grooming, hairstyle, makeup, mannerisms and speech patterns that need to be changed in order to pass. That's just my humble opinion, take it for what it's worth.

Much love,

Melissa Ann

[AnonyMs]

For what its worth, I'm speaking as someone who's not gone past HRT yet.

I have the feeling that HRT is in many ways the easy part. It's understandable to focus on HRT because the reward is huge, and all you need to do is take some medication. Social transition, at least for me (I'm older and not started it) is a huge effort and very disruptive to life. Give me a magic pill anyday rather than face all that.

I suspect that even the various surgeries you can have are like HRT, easy. You pay your money and things happen, big things. You don't have to make much effort as its external not internal (I'm ignoring the problems of getting the money together of course). I think its easy to focus on SRS for the same reason, which I'm guilty of doing, but I do realize that.

Perhaps also a lot of people who are most vocal about HRT are still in the early days, especially as a lot of people seem to drop out of the online communities after transitioning. I think the more problems you have the more you want to talk about it all, and there's lot of problems at the start.

I've taken HRT for years, and I still pass as 100% male. There's zero female in my normal presentation. Its on purpose, but does show the limits of HRT, although its a bit of a trial mentally. I guess if HRT really were magic that wouldn't be possible.

But I do feel its like a magic pill in some ways. Even ignoring the physical effects, I'd have never imagined something could have the mental effects that it did, and its given me a very clear direction to take in life. All the usual stuff I suppose. The hard part is still in front of me. Pity there's no magic pill for that.

[stephaniec]

to me 90%  of HRT is for the purpose of not constantly 24/7 of thinking of ways to end my life.

[MikaylaGC]

Not sure I entirely get this. I mean this is a support site and yes it has a lot of ppl who are pre-HRT, and are asking questions about it. As I'm sure everyone is aware, YMMV with HRT(due to age, genetic reasons etc). But any therapist/endocrinologist will not say this is a magic pill that fixes everything. Its a catalyst, it can relieve a lot of anxiety for ppl with very severe dysphoria. It does give you breasts, change your skin...it can help with reshaping your body buy ofc no-one should be silly enough to think its the magic pill.
And, I guess by catalyst I mean: by helping someone emotionally, psychologically or even just noticing the texture of your hair or skin changing, it can encourage ppl to exercise more for weight loss and body shaping, encourage ppl to embark on hair removal or learning the things like makeup, speech and so on. So tbh I'm not sure too much emphasis is put on the magic powers of HRT by this site, but you know we also should not rain on peoples parade who are excited about getting it or asking questions about it. Afterall we may be just helping a sister out so she can go from caterpillar to butterfly and fully live the life she always knew she deserved.

[suzifrommd]

I agree, Lauren.

The only thing I asked HRT for was breasts. To my thinking anything else would be an unexpected bonus. That it thinned my body hair, feminized my face, gave me female sexual experience and emotional make-up - that was all icing on the cake.

[Nicolette]

I don't think I could have transitioned without the confidence boosting effect, derived from physical changes, real and imaginary, that hrt gave me. The younger you are, the more powerful its effect in the prevention of further masculinsation. Even between the ages of 20-30 and beyond, there is further, irreversible masculinsation taking place. So, in that sense, it is magic. Just knowing that T's damaging effects have been halted is incredibly calming.

[ashley_thomas]

Hormone therapy is critical for me - it helps boost my confidence, my emotions are unlocked and able to flow more naturally - even when I feel the temporary overwhelmed feelings of life circumstance I feel at home. Changes to my body and skin and hair and all of that are critical to me. It's not everything but it's top 3-5 along with voice, style/appearance, and mannerisms.  I could not transition without it so that makes it of the utmost importance. Of course I say the same thing with voice, style/appearance and mannerisms.

Now if you're asking what's the hardest part of transition? It isn't taking the pills it's coming out to spouse first, professionally second and socially third.  Rocking the pills, voice, style/appearance and mannerisms give the confidence for me to do that incredibly hard work so yeah hormones are absolutely critical for me.

[AnonyMs]

For better and worse ->-bleeped-<- is a very different place to here (much more wild west), and I can see how the discussion there might make it easy to overlook the other aspects of transition. I find YouTube very different again, and watching a single person over the course of their transition makes it much clearer. Both the video and that focus on the individual over time works in a very different way to text based forums. I think you get a better overall picture of how it really works like that.

I just realized I've forgotten what I was expecting when I started HRT, but I'm pretty sure it was different to what I got.

to me 90%  of HRT is for the purpose of not constantly 24/7 of thinking of ways to end my life.

I've never reached the point of thinking about suicide fortunately, but I think I would without HRT. I love it all, but the most important part is happy I feel now. And its not just not depressed anymore, but I actually feel great. I don't know if this is how people normally feel or of I'm on some kind of long term estrogen high.

[Christine Eryn]

For me, HRT was a game changer and a force multiplier. That, including electrolysis and future FFS are my holy trinity of transitioning.

[ImagineKate]

HRT for me puts everything all together. The short time I was on it, my breasts started developing and my skin felt heavenly. I also had a spring in my step. Without the E I feel absolutely horrid and like I want to just not wake up each morning.

[LordKAT]

I didn't get HRT to pass, I got it to feel hope and 'normal'.  I don't think passing is the only or even key thing for all people.