I want a biological kid

[NathanielM]

I think you've had great suggestions already, I only had one other though when I was reading your post. You say you're desperate for testosterone and that's why you don't want to wait for a child. Have you taken into consideration that a pregnancy will probably spike your dysphoria? Being pregnant is hard in normal circumstances but if you're that desperate to get on T, haveing an overdose of female hormones will probably be worse.

I think for the rest, I agree with the therapist. Keep talking it through and don't rush things to much. You can't just change your mind later.

[Edge]

Ok so you've thought of the nicer things about being a parent like reading to them and stuff. I looked forward to that part too. Of course, I had to come to terms with the fact that my son prefers Clifford to Where the Wild Things Are. lol Anyway... What about the not so nice parts? Like the temper tantrums, messes, lack of sleep, discipline, etc.
Having a child with a disability isn't just not having a genius. In my son's case, it's watching him fall behind other kids because it turns out that his lack of social skills are a huge block no matter how smart he is. It's a lot of work and frustration.
It seems you have a very nice sounding plan. Sounds a lot like the plans I've heard of people having before having kids. Then they have kids and reality happens. The perfectly constructed plans and expectation they had go out the window. Maybe not completely, but they soon realize that being a parent is a lot harder than what they were expecting and that their plan needs to be a lot more flexible than they anticipated.
You won't be able to provide a perfect childhood. That's impossible. The most you can do is provide the best you can with what you have.
You won't be able to protect your child from heartbreak. All you can do is be there for them.

Not trying to dissuade people from having kids, but I think people have a very romanticized view of what it's actually like. Not that I blame them. So did I. Then I had a kid and I love him to bits, but I did have to adjust my expectations to suit the both of us.

[Polo]

If you go on T but keep your original equipment, you can go OFF Testosterone and provided it hasn't been too long ( takes several years for atrophy usually), resume your cycles and either get pregnant or harvest an egg for in vitro.

A website that may be worth looking at is
http://www.milkjunkies.net/p/my-story.html
Which is the basis for a support group for FTM birth parents.

I second the therapy just to get your feelings sorted out, they really do help a lot.

[pianoforte]

What Ryan and Polo said. It is possible in many cases to go on T for a while, get off it and have kids, then get back on, a la "The Pregnant Man" featured on Oprah a few years back.

This could be an option for you, but it would definitely be important to bring up to your transition team (gender therapist, any other therapist, endocrinologist, etc) before going forward in any direction. The endo especially would be able to help sort out the realities of your body and whether that would likely be possible for you individually.

Take care of yourself - mind, body and spirit. You may have to do some soul-searching to really prioritize what is most important to you, and the risks and benefits of both staying off T or going on it. If you are seeing a gender therapist, they can probably help you through that process of introspection.