Explaining transgender to family/friends

[Syd]

Hi,
I am a teenage ftm and I'm trying to explain what being transgender is to my cis-straight friend, and he said that if he was born with a female body, he would be female, but since he was born as male, therefore he is male. He doesn't understand that gender and sex are two VERY different things, but he still doesn't understand. I got the same response from my dad as well. Is there any way I can explain being transgender to them?
Thanks,
Syd

[darkblade]

Most people on here seem to be saying that it's having (for ftm) a male brain but a female body, and the brain is constantly feeling like something is wrong, that it's running on the wrong hormones (estrogen instead of testosterone) and stuff like that. The brain isn't getting what it wants/is expecting and then you end up with gender dysphoria.

With me so far, it's looking to be a little more complicated than that so I can't speak for myself here...

[FTMax]

Explain that gender and sex are two different things. Sex is between your legs, gender is between your ears. In the US, we've long used sex and gender interchangeably to describe physical sex characteristics. A lot of people genuinely do not know that they technically mean different things. I would start there, and then talk to them about how science has shown that the brain cannot be changed, and that the only true treatment is to bring the body into alignment with the brain.

[suzifrommd]

Hi,
I am a teenage ftm and I'm trying to explain what being transgender is to my cis-straight friend, and he said that if he was born with a female body, he would be female, but since he was born as male, therefore he is male. He doesn't understand that gender and sex are two VERY different things, but he still doesn't understand. I got the same response from my dad as well. Is there any way I can explain being transgender to them?
Thanks,
Syd

Syd, the explaining is easy. Transgender is simple. We all have a gender identity that is wired into our brains. For some of us, that gender identity is at odds with our physical body.

What's hard is the convincing. If someone has it in their mind that there's no such thing as an internally wired gender identity, all the explaining in the world won't help.

Maybe try telling them how doctors, psychologists, churches, and transgender people themselves have been working for decades trying to take transgender people and make them comfortable with their bodies and their gender roles and no one and nothing, not churches, not psychologists, not doctors, not support groups, not punishment, not electric shock therapy, not reparative therapy, not praying, nothing, NOTHING, has succeeded.

I've been known to tell someone who is clinging to their misconceptions in a particularly stubborn way that if they have a way to make trans people not trans, not to keep it quiet because a lot of people will be all ears!