I have so many emotion running through my head and I can't seem to tell what they are. I do know that they deal with me transitioning. All I know is that I feel more comfortable and energized when I dress as a male. I'm pretty positive I want to take T and get top surgery in the future. I'm just having problems dealing with who I am now. I see a gender therapist this Thursday and I'm so thankful because I've been feeling overwhelmed and confused for over three months.
I feel like Thursday can't come fast enough. My emotions are sky-rocketing, especially lately. Sometime, I have to attach myself to my mom's hip because I feel so lost and overwhelmed. But I know it's hard on her because she doesn't know how to help me.
My mom finally realized I was serious about transitioning. It took me crying to make her realize how much I was suffering. I'm glad she finally realized it but I just wish she could help me. Wearing men's clothes eases the pain a bit but every time I change clothes, my heart hurts because I realize I'm female. I guess this is what gender dysphoria is? I've never really understood it until now.
I just feel strange...like I'm empty but have tons of emotions in my head at the same time...I don't understand it. Has anyone ever felt this way?
