Do you miss having topfreedom?

[Vestyn]

Hi everyone,

I was just wondering if you ever miss having the freedom to walk around shirtless in public the way cis men do. Was it/Has it been a difficult adjustment?

I come at this from the opposite direction; I'm FAAB but going through my own gender journey. I'm not taking hormones or trying to pass, but I recently had a double mastectomy and "male-like" chest reconstruction. Prior to surgery I wondered if I might be some kind of "third gender" but post-surgery, I've actually felt my sense of womanness reinforced. Sometimes I think the driving factor for having the surgery was actually just the desire for topfreedom - a privilege people with dangling breasts are not afforded in most Western societies. 

This seems to make people laugh in disbelief, but growing up in the country, most of the men and boys I knew were shirtless at home and around the neighborhood. We girls always had to wear an extra layer, much to the annoyance of this former tomboy.  As soon as I moved out on my own I rediscovered the joy of relaxing in my boxer shorts...with the curtains closed and a shirt nearby to quickly cover up if I had to. I grew to really resent having to hide whenever I had to step outside or answer the door or something.

Those pendulous blobs caused me nothing but grief so I finally had them taken off. I even had complete nipple and areola removal so that there's absolutely no way somebody can pull out an ordinance telling me to cover up when I can turn around and say, "cover up what, exactly?" 

Then last weekend I bought a pair of trunks, went to the beach and made my first semi-public shirtless debut.  Like I said, I don't pass at all and I got a LOT of stares. But to feel the sun on my back and the breeze blowing across my chest...and then the coolness of the water against my bare skin...absolutely glorious. It brought me to near-tears.

And yet most cis women don't seem to feel this way. I bring up topless equality and they usually start giggling and say that would never happen or else stare blankly at me for a second and go, "oh yeah, I guess it's not fair, but I really don't care." 

Many of you used to have this freedom and now it's gone. Does it bother you? Do you miss it? How do you cope with it?

Thanks for your thoughts,
V

[RachelH]

I hated going around topless before, felt like something was missing.  Now I have the body I want, I feel more comfortable and can explain why I don't want to be topless.  So absolutely not missing it.

[MelissaAnn]

I just started HRT so I don't have the so-called problem of things hanging down yet, but I am looking forward to it. You can't miss something that you never really liked in the first place. I never did like the fact that I didn't have breasts, so I welcome the change. I can't wait to be needing to wear a bra because my breasts have grown.

[Railgun]

Never did. It always felt somewhat wrong.

[LilDevilOfPrada]

I never even showed my hair legs to the general public So I have nothing to miss . I have always been embarrassed about this body.

[Leah443]

I don't really miss it, in fact whenever I'm not wearing a bra it feels weird lol. the only time when i was uncomfortable was at my friends pool party where he was the only one who knew i was trans

[ImagineKate]

I never liked being shirtless, not even on the beach or pool.

As for top freedom, in NYC women can legally walk around topless as long as it is not being used as a business. During the summer months I see a few women exercising their freedom. I'm not sure if I will be doing that next summer... I rather doubt it.

[Tessa James]

Interesting question Vestyn, Thank you.  I have enjoyed the freedom to be nude whenever possible and appropriate.  We have public nude beaches but I am not really wanting to be on display so tend to find the deserted islands and other places to feel the breeze between my legs and the sun on my chest.  Now owning a couple of those blobs it does feel much more restrictive.  Initially i delighted in having bras, now it is special to go without and topless will only occur for me in the safest of places.  Perhaps if I had bottom surgery it might increase my overall confidence level but also the undesired interactions with guys on the make.  Like Rachel, i previously felt my feminine shadow as part of me missing.  I felt like my breasts were there all along but apparently invisible to others while my bottom bits were wrongfully attached extras.  I once asked my mom if they had sown them on me.

The big picture for me is too encourage maximum freedoms for all of us and to reduce the insecurities so many of us have about our bodies.

[Cat]

I never felt comfortable going shirtless either.  I almost never did it, and on those rare occasions when I did (swimming, for example), I always felt weird and awkward.

It's awesome that being able to do it has been such a positive experience for you though, Vestyn!  I can totally empathise with your need to feel comfortable about your body and what you can/can't do with it, even if we are total opposites on this particular question.

[Esther79]

Never been to the swimming pool since 12yrs old, felt wrong/naked.

[Mai]

interesting.  i have never really gone out anywhere, even swimming without a t-shirt on other than when i was a little-little kid but cant remember.  first time i did something without a shirt on was when i was in the navy and always felt uncomfortable.

Like Rachel, i previously felt my feminine shadow as part of me missing.  I felt like my breasts were there all along but apparently invisible to others while my bottom bits were wrongfully attached extras.

id have to agree with tessa.  ive always felt and somewhat, seen myself as still having breasts (of a sort) even though they werent developed.  and always felt uncomfortable around others when i have my shirt off.  more-so around guys than girls.  even though i know guys wouldnt be looking, it always felt as though they were.

being pre-hrt still, i kinda wish i had something worth covering, and something worth being looked at, and had the parts physically, that my brain feels and tells me exist in these spots.

used to love swimming, but havent done so in a very long time. i generally just go to the beach now with friends to hang out... sometimes, once in a while, not very often actually, hmmmm,  i should go to the beach next summer more when i have time.

[Sammy]

It was curious to read the responses above, there definitely is a trend... and yeah, I did not really enjoy that privilege either and whenI did (swimming in public) it always felt a bit wrong.

[Donna Elvira]

More than compensated for by the pleasure of feeling the summer sun on my naked shoulders when wearing narrow strapped summer dresses and feeling the air circulate around my body when wearing the same.

Other than that, I personally never had any hang-ups about going topless as I guy but, in spite of now having all the required parts in all the required places, would feel far less comfortable about going topless as a woman. I do however love wearing a two piece swimsuit.. 
 

[KarynMcD]

I don't even like going topless in my home, let alone outdoors.

[LizMarie]

No sense of loss here. And once I complete GCS, I am looking to see how good I look in a swimsuit, without that lower remaining bulge!

[naomi599]

I've always disliked being topless in public. I love the beach but before hormones and before knowing what the word transgender meant I still hated being topless. It's always felt wrong for me.

[Tessa James]

No sense of loss here. And once I complete GCS, I am looking to see how good I look in a swimsuit, without that lower remaining bulge!

Last year I posted about swimming pools and thought I'd never be comfortable going there again because of that bulge.  Since then I found swimsuits with a miniskirt or ruffle that covers just great and have been in public pools and a sauna without problems.  Most people are having enough of there own fun or insecurities about their body image to worry about us.

[Alexis2107]

Well, I don't walk around shirtless.  Not many people have seen me shirtless unless they are intimate with me.. even then, still would like to keep shirt on.  I have a b cup size breasts, so a person presenting guy and has breasts walking around shirtless isn't going to happen.  Transitioning, at home I have my door locked and just in my bra... when my fiance' is around I don't mind him seeing me shirtless.... feels better than before

[Jenna Marie]

I'm somewhere in between... I miss the convenience of not having to put a bra on to go outside, and I'll have a passing moment of annoyance when it's *really* hot outside, but for the most part I don't miss it. I hardly ever took my shirt off in public even before, and as others have said, it felt wrong/naked to do so even without visible breasts.

(Just as well, since I lost the ability to go out braless, much less topless, by a few weeks into HRT!)

[Leila]

I think I have more hang ups of showing my boobs in situations where if I were to be presenting as male to not have my top off. I most certainly would do everything in my power to keep my chest covered/disguised in such a scenario.

Being shirtless was in my opinion largely a male privilege. I hated being male, to be compared against the other true males showing off their ripped chests and me with my weak flabby arms, beer gut and squidgy pecs.

I am much more comfortable having a reason to keep my top covered. My arms are even more weedy and thanks to muscle loss even the upper arms are starting to develop bingo wings. The spare tyre around my waist has gone. My squidgy man breasts have developed into a proper womanly shape. If I were in a safe environment I would take my top off and show my chest off with pride, but only under a bra that was meant to be worn in public of course. I must of course support my boobies